


Blood and Water

by Shandibeary



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, M/M, Minor Character Death, Romance, Sex, Single Parents, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-22 04:23:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11959656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shandibeary/pseuds/Shandibeary
Summary: Hakyeon is a widowered father of three who is just trying to keep his slowly crumbling life together. Taekwoon is just an awkward problem in a nice suit.





	1. "You're... A Good Father..."

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on AFF.
> 
> Welcome, everyone, to this downhill spiral of angst and pain. XD  
> Welcome to my fic guys ^^ This is actually the first fic I'm posting on Ao3, so... I don't ACTUALLY know what I'm doing, so if I fucked up somehow (with the tags or layout or, Idk, SOMETHING) please let me know.
> 
> Anyway, I think the main thing I should mention here (even though you'll figure it out in literally the first scene) is that Hakyeon and Taekwoon are the only adults in this fic. Jaehwan (14), Wonshik (10) & Hongbin (10) are Hakyeon's kids, while Sanghyuk (4) is Taekwoon's son. As I said, that's almost immediately explained, but I just wanted to put that here in case anyone was expecting adult VIXX lol.
> 
> So, with that out of the way, I hope you guys enjoy the ride~ ^^

\------

For most parents, having their ten year old child come home from school with a few bumps and bruises was pretty normal.  
  
But not when there was a new bruise every day for an entire week, seemingly in some kind of geometric pattern. And that ten year old child just happened to be Hongbin.  
  
"What happened at school, Kong?"

Hongbin and Wonshik – his fraternal twin brother sitting next to him at the kitchen table - exchanged glances before the two hour younger child replied with a soft, unconvincing "Nothing..."  
  
Hakyeon leaned on the table, "C'mon, tell me. Were you fighting?"  
  
Wonshik nudged his brother and cocked his head in the direction of their father, a clear signal for him to say something.  
  
When Hongbin still didn't speak up, the older twin sighed and turned to look at Hakyeon himself, "There's a kid at school. He's new. He's a first grader, but he's like four and he's really smart. And really tiny. So, uh... some older kids were bullying him because of his age and how small he is and stuff like that, so..."  
  
"The kid is kinda… soft." Hongbin continued, "He doesn't like to fight back and he kept trying to talk his way out of it, but they just kept bullying him. So Wonshik stood up to the bullies for him and... they, um... they said they don't want to hit _him_ because..."  
  
"Because they said _this_ is already ugly." Wonshik touched his fingertips to the makeshift paper mask covering one side of his face, "And my face underneath it is... probably even uglyer. So, to get back at me, they went after Hongbin. They said I'll feel the pain too because we're twins."  
  
Hakyeon pursed his lips, taking in everything they said, then smiled sympathetically at his two fidgeting kids before turning to Wonshik, "Ok. Listen... Standing up to those bullies on the little kid's behalf was very noble of you. I'm proud of you, but... it did kinda lead to your brother getting beat up."  
  
Wonshik looked down sadly and Hakyeon realized that he was probably upset with himself already, he didn't need to be reminded of that.  
  
"So, here's what we do;" he continued, "It’s parents’ evening on Monday, I’ll let the principal know what's going on."  
  
Both boys looked back up at him, wearing the best 'are you out of your freaking mind' expressions. "If we tattle to the principal, both of us _and_ the little kid are gonna be harassed more than ever." The older twin stated.  
  
Hongbin nodded in agreement, "Plus, I don't think it's too bad. Taking one or two punches a day in return for being a hero is a pretty good deal, I think."  
  
"No, but…" Wonshik continued, touching his fingertips together guiltily, "I was kinda planning to ask Jaehwan Hyung for... assistance."  
  
Hakyeon frowned, "You are not gonna ask Jaehwan to beat up some kids."  
  
"Not beat them up, just... scare them a little..." Wonshik muttered with barely concealed nervous laughter that caused his father to chuckle too.  
  
"Try not to do that." Hakyeon warned light-heartedly, "We have the whole weekend to come up with something, ok?" The twins nodded and Hakyeon stood up straight, "For now, I was gonna go to the store. You guys can come with. And maybe we'll get pizza cause you two are noble heroes and all." He winked and the two children beamed because, if there was anything that could temporarily make everything ok, it was pizza.  
  
Leaving the pair to talk excitedly about what type of pizza they wanted and what they were going to get from the store, Hakyeon walked down the hall to his eldest son's room and paused for a moment before knocking lightly on the door.  
  
For about a year now, Jaehwan had been pretty much the textbook example of a fourteen year old. He would spend as much time as he could in his room and, when he _wasn't_ in his room, he was tapping away on his phone or hanging out with friends at the most cliché places like the mall or something. His allowance usually got him knock-offs of branded shoes and clothing that he went around telling everyone was real. Or it would get him extra minutes for his phone, which he would then overuse anyway, probably talking to multiple girls at the same time.  
  
Hakyeon thought it was quite funny. Only because Jaehwan reminded him a lot of himself at fourteen.  
  
He could just hope he wouldn't go down the same road he did at that age.  
  
Shaking his head and shaking the thoughts away as best he could, he knocked again.  
  
"Yeah?" His eldest's voice answered from inside the room.  
  
"Jae, we're going shopping, you wanna come?" Hakyeon asked to the wooden door between them.  
  
There was a pause before "No, not really."  
  
"Are you sure? I'll buy you something." Hakyeon bribed, "And we're getting pizza after."  
  
The door opened and Jaehwan blinked up at him, "What can I get?"  
  
"Whatever you want." His father replied, "Within reason, of course. You know the drill."  
  
"Ok." The teenager agreed, walking back into his room to put his shoes on.  
  
While Jaehwan _was_ an average teen, he thankfully wasn't a brat and remained relatively polite to people, despite being a little angsty. He did have somewhat of a bad temper that led to him shouting at his father or throwing his brothers around every now and then, but what child _didn't_ do that at some point?  
  
When it came down to it, Jaehwan loved his family more than anything, even if he did pull Hongbin's hair or tease Wonshik about how bad he was at games or accuse Hakyeon of being the most annoying father on the planet.  
  
Stepping back out of his room, sporting the knock off sneakers that Hakyeon found amusing, Jaehwan nodded his head in the direction of the front door.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
\-----  
  
  
  
Sometimes, Hakyeon couldn't help but be proud of how well behaved his kids were in the supermarket. He would look at other children throwing tantrums on the floor – some as old as thirteen - running around and throwing things and he'd wonder what their parents did wrong and, more importantly, what he did right to avoid that.   
  
This was not one of those times.  
  
Jaehwan and Hongbin used anything and everything to irritate poor Wonshik until he practically hid behind his father, and even then, they poked him and bothered him until he finally turned around, smacked his twin brother on the arm and attempted to kick Jaehwan, but missed thanks to the older seeing it coming a mile away.  
  
"Hey wait, Wonshik, look." Hongbin called, tugging on his twin's arm while the older was still in the process of trying futilely to attack his big brother.  
  
"I'm not falling for that, Kong." Wonshik replied, getting into a mock karate showdown with Jaehwan, complete with the martial arts movie sounds.  
  
Hongbin's incessant tugging didn't let up, "No, I'm serious, look. It's Sanghyuk."  
  
The other twin finally gave in and turned to look at what the younger was talking about, pausing when he spotted the kid. It was the four year old that he'd stood up for before, standing inside a cart and talking animatedly to his father pushing the cart.  
  
"Oh hey..." Wonshik tilted his head.  
  
Hongbin grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the child in the cart, "Come on, let's go say hi."  
  
Hakyeon turned around from grabbing something off the shelf a second too late and his twins were already standing together at the stranger's cart, greeting his kid. Or, they _assumed_ he was the kid's father. He was dressed way too fancy. Who wears a full suit and tie to the store? Something was very suspicious; he could have kidnapped that child for all Hakyeon knew…  
  
Quickly making his way to where the child was beaming and his supposed father was staring in confusion at Hakyeon's own kids, he put his hands on the twins' shoulders, wanting to just pull them away but deciding to rather keep up appearances and seem like a chill dad, just in case this man really _was_ the child’s father.  
  
"Guys, you can't just go up to strangers in the supermarket." He stated, still trying to sound sweet and not at all like he wanted to just throw the two of them over his shoulders and get the hell out of there. Hakyeon didn’t really do well with people…  
  
"He's not a stranger, he's in our school." Wonshik replied, innocently blinking at Hakyeon.  
  
The child in the cart pointed at the two boys and turned to his father, "They're the ones that helped me the other day. The ones I told you about."  
  
"Oh." The man replied, obviously a little uncomfortable with suddenly being swarmed by children.  
  
Hakyeon smiled as casually as he could in this skin-crawlingly awkward situation. It probably shouldn’t have even _been_ awkward, but he knew he was making it so. "Sorry. I guess they're just excited to see each other outside of school."  
  
"Yeah." The other man smiled back, just as stiff and awkward, "Sanghyuk told me your kids saved him from a bully. I should actually thank you."  
  
"Not me." Hakyeon replied, squeezing the twins' shoulders a little harder, something between pride and annoyance bubbling up inside him, "It was Wonshik's initiative."  
  
"Yeah... I heard his brother got the short end of the stick though." The man stated, suddenly staring at Wonshik as if he just noticed the paper mask covering the side of his face.  
  
Hakyeon glared at the man as Wonshik looked away shyly to avoid his judging gaze.  
  
He had tried to be polite, but who was this man to judge a ten year old..?  
  
"Does it hurt?" Sanghyuk asked Hongbin, both blissfully unaware of the war of nerves happening next to them.  
  
Hongbin scoffed, "No. I'm tougher than that jerk."  
  
"That's good. Thank you. I think I would have gotten hurt if he hit _me_." Sanghyuk admitted, "I need to become tougher."  
  
"No, you just gotta stick close to us until you get big." His seemingly new best friend stated, "They're just picking on you because you're small."  
  
"I know. I hate being so small..."  
  
"You should be proud that you're smarter than most kids at your age." Sanghyuk's father cut in, "You’re pretty much a legit genius. You'll go places later on in life while they struggle to keep a steady job."  
  
Hakyeon raised an eyebrow, "Are you saying that regular kids won't get anywhere when they grow up?"  
  
The man blinked in confusion before lifting his hands in defence, "No, I didn't mean it like that."  
  
"Really?" Hakyeon replied, folding his arms across his chest, "You don't think my _average_ children will struggle to keep a steady job while your son is bathing in luxury?"  
  
"I didn't mean it like that." The other man repeated, "I was talking about the people who bullied Sanghyuk and hit your kid."  
  
Hakyeon narrowed his eyes and turned away with a scoff, "Fine, whatever. Guys, we need to hurry up here. Say bye to Sanghyuk and let's go."  
  
The twins blinked at their father in confusion as he met up with Jaehwan again and started violently grabbing things off the shelves.  
  
"Um... yeah, we'll see you on Monday, Sanghyuk." Wonshik stated, smiling at the younger boy.  
  
"Yeah, bye." Hongbin added, "And... Bye, Sanghyuk's dad."  
  
The man did a thumbs up and Sanghyuk squeaked out an unsure "Bye." as the pair walked toward the remainder of their family.  
  
\------  
  
  
  
It's not that Hakyeon was still annoyed - in fact, thinking about it just an hour afterwards, he probably shouldn't have gotten annoyed in the first place - he was just surprised.  
  
He shouldn't have been. Sanghyuk went to the same school as Wonshik and Hongbin. It made sense that the man from the supermarket, Sanghyuk's judgemental father, was there on parents' evening too, once again dressed like James Bond or something.  
  
They were placed in chairs next to each other in what appeared to be some sort of single father corner of the room, among the dozens of couples and more women - single mothers, Hakyeon assumed - than he had expected.  
  
The room buzzed while people chatted and waited to be addressed by the teachers and Hakyeon felt a _little_ bad for not attempting to start a friendly conversation with his children’s friend's father. But the other man didn't seem to be making a move either, so why should he?  
  
Hakyeon didn't know why, but he felt a strange kind of animosity towards this man. Maybe it was the suit. Maybe it was because it seemed like he thought he was superior because his son was gifted or maybe it was the way he looked at Wonshik and made him super self-conscious. Maybe it was a combination of everything, but Hakyeon just didn't like him...  
  
"Is your wife not here today?"  
  
Hakyeon jumped a little when the man's soft voice broke through the chatter in the room. He blinked at him for a moment before realizing that he was indeed talking to him.  
  
"Wh... what?" He asked, slightly shocked that the man actually started a conversation with him.  
  
The other suddenly looked a little regretful that he said anything, "Uh... I... noticed your ring. You're married, right?"  
  
Hakyeon looked down at his hand, noticing the gold band around his wedding finger. He had actually forgotten he was still wearing it... "Oh, right... uh... yeah, I am married. Or, I... was..."  
  
"Oh... sorry..." the man muttered back, fidgeting with his fingers.  
  
Hakyeon shook his head, "It's ok. It is a little misleading. I guess I just forgot to take it off."  
  
The man nodded and stared at the floor for a moment before gathering up enough courage to ask another question, "Does she not get involved with the kids' school stuff?"  
  
Hakyeon blinked in confusion before continuing with a sad smile, "I think... you're misunderstanding me. We didn't get divorced, she..." he trailed off and his companion's eyes widened in realization.  
  
"Oh my God, I'm sorry." He apologized quietly, "I didn't mean to be insensitive." He muttered something under his breath about not being able to function socially and keeping his mouth shut next time and Hakyeon actually managed to find that kind of endearing.  
  
"That's ok." Hakyeon smiled a bit more genuinely, "What about you? Where's Sanghyuk's mother?"  
  
The man shrugged, "Who knows? Haven't seen her in about... oh, four years..."  
  
"Four years, really? But that's how old Sanghyuk is, right?"  
  
"Uh-huh. She never cared about him. Never really wanted him.” He replied bitterly, “She just wanted to use him to trap me..."  
  
Hakyeon wasn't quite sure how to reply to that. He could guess what he meant by 'trapping' him; there were many instances of women using a child to keep a man with them. Whether it was so that the man could provide for them or out of insecurity that their boyfriend or husband will leave them, Hakyeon had to admit that it was a terrible thing to do. But, at the same time, he had no sympathy for the men involved either, since it did take two people to make a baby and therefore the father should just man up and take responsibility.  
  
Of course, things were obviously a little different in this case as Sanghyuk's mother was out of the picture and his father clearly loved him deeply, so Hakyeon couldn't bring himself to lecture him on responsibility and contraception. Not that he would do that in the middle of an elementary school...  
  
"Hello." A woman's sweet voice pulled Hakyeon back to the present moment.  
  
He looked up at her and smiled. She was probably someone's mother, but Hakyeon never bothered to socialise with anyone at these events, so he had no idea whose. "Hi."  
  
"I see you've finally made a friend here at school." She joked with a wink.  
  
Hakyeon blinked at her, "Huh?"  
  
"Ever since you started coming here alone, you just sit by yourself in a corner and leave at the first opportunity you get." She explained, "It's nice that you're being accommodating to Taekwoon. He's kind of a newbie in this whole school dad thing, y'know?"  
  
Taekwoon, huh..?  
  
Hakyeon glanced at the man in question - finding it a little weird that she was talking about him like he wasn't _right there_ \- before turning back to the overly fake-happy woman, "Uh... yeah... Our kids get along, so... we know each other. Kinda."  
  
"That's good." She replied and finally took notice of the alleged newbie, "I'm sure you'll fit right in here."  
  
He forced a smile, "I hope so. Sanghyuk's gonna be here for the next four years."  
  
"You'll be fine." She assured with a somewhat condescending pat on his shoulder before walking away and once again leaving them in awkward silence.  
  
"So…" Taekwoon started, still as unsure as ever, "Sanghyuk doesn't really have any friends here yet... and he seems to like your kids a lot, so... I know there's a bit of an age gap, but maybe they should get together sometime."  
  
Hakyeon smiled. Taekwoon was awkward and a little strange, but it was clear that he doted on Sanghyuk and was just trying his best to make him happy and, from the point of view of a fellow parent, that was probably the best quality he could have had. "Yeah, they should. You should bring him over on the weekend. They can play together. Y'know, test out the waters."  
  
"Yeah, ok." The other man smiled, a light in his eyes showing that he was happier than he seemed, "I think it'll be good for him. He's kind of a loner."  
  
"I'm sure he'll fit in." Hakyeon stated, "Hongbin and Wonshik did always want a little brother."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
Taekwoon gasped as soon as the door to Hakyeon's suburban house opened and immediately regretted it when Wonshik looked equally as startled and quickly turned away from his new friend's father.  
  
He wasn't wearing his mask.  
  
One side of his face was so badly mangled and it was clear that he was blind in the eye on that side too…  
  
"H... Hi." Taekwoon greeted the child.  
  
Wonshik nodded, still facing away from their guests, "Hello..."  
  
Taekwoon opened his mouth to attempt to say something else but stopped when Hakyeon luckily walked around the corner and up to them.  
  
"Hi." He greeted before noticing the current situation and how Wonshik refused to look at Sanghyuk and his father. "Um... Wonshik, you can take Sanghyuk to your room. I think Hongbin's still playing video games in there."  
  
The ten year old nodded and shyly looked back at his younger friend, extending his hand out, "Come on."  
  
Sanghyuk complied and took hold of Wonshik’s hand, following the older boy to the room as the two adults watched them until they were out of sight.  
  
The awkward silence that was all too familiar with them lingered for a few moments – while Hakyeon concluded that the other man probably _lived_ in suits - before Taekwoon, as usual, was the one to break it.  
  
"His... his face..." he started quietly, "How... Was he born like that?"  
  
Hakyeon sighed in annoyance, "I don't think that's any of your business. You need to stop staring at him and making him feel so self-conscious, I'm trying to show him that it's ok for him to not cover up with a mask all the time."  
  
"I'm sorry. I just... It's a little... shocking." Taekwoon defended.  
  
"I know..." Hakyeon muttered, "But just... don't stare at him like he's some sort of freak. Please."  
  
"Yeah, of course. Sorry." The other apologized again, "I didn't mean to, I was just caught off guard."  
  
"It's ok, I get it..."  
  
Taekwoon cleared his throat before trying desperately to change the subject, "So, uh... tell me something... how... how old are you?"  
  
Hakyeon raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing.  
  
"U-um... Sorry, never mind..." Taekwoon apologized, letting his gaze drop to the floor.  
  
The other man sighed, "No, I'm sorry, you’re a guest, I'm being rude. Would you like a drink?"  
  
"Uh, sure."  
  
"Coffee?"  
  
"Yes. Please." Taekwoon hoped that this awkwardness between Hakyeon and himself would disappear soon because, as much as Sanghyuk liked the twins and as much as Taekwoon was willing to do just about anything for his son, this was torturous. His nerves were shot whenever Hakyeon was around and it always seemed like, no matter how hard Taekwoon tried not to, he somehow ended up putting his foot in his mouth and saying something stupid or insensitive.  
  
He cautiously sat down at the kitchen table and clasped his hands together, wondering whether or not he was doing the right thing because he never could tell with Hakyeon.  
  
"I'm twenty-nine, by the way." Hakyeon stated after putting the water on to boil, "I'll be thirty next June."  
  
"Oh. We're the same age then." Taekwoon replied, "I'm also twenty-nine. But I… just turned twenty-nine. A week ago."  
  
"Ok, that's cool. Happy late birthday, I guess.” Hakyeon replied, putting on the friendliest smile he could muster, “So, what do you do? What kind of _job_ do you do, I mean."  
  
"I own a club. A nightclub." The slightly younger man answered, "I inherited it from my parents a few years ago."  
  
"Sounds like it must be interesting. I would assume you encounter a lot of... _unique_ people there." Hakyeon continued.  
  
Taekwoon shrugged, "It's ok. I work in the office side, so I don’t spend that much time in the actual club. But I do have to check out the place sometimes and... yeah... _unique_ people are everywhere I guess." He paused for a second before continuing, "What about you? What do you do?"  
  
"I have what some may call a 'soul sucking office job'." The older chuckled bitterly, "I work for a trading company as a buyer. I basically just buy things from overseas and sell it to a domestic client. It's kind of a useless middle man job really."  
  
"Doesn't sound like you're too fond of it..."  
  
"Yeah, well... Dropped out of high school, didn't go to college, have three kids that I need to provide for on my own... I don't have much of a choice right now." Hakyeon spoke, pouring the hot water into the cup with the instant coffee, "It's my own fault, I guess..."  
  
"You, uh... you have a teenager, right?" Taekwoon asked, remembering the older looking kid that hung back at the supermarket when they bumped into each other there. He had assumed the teen was just a nephew or a friend of the twins, but Hakyeon just said that he had _three_ kids and it suddenly all added up. "You're... a little young for that. Is that why you dropped out?"  
  
Hakyeon fell silent and the younger man thought he'd screwed up again.  
  
"Yeah. It is." The older finally replied softly, "Jaehw--... I was... pretty young when Jaehwan was born."  
  
"Oh..." Taekwoon replied simply, realizing that this was probably a touchy subject for Hakyeon and that he should drop it before he said something stupid again.  
  
"Yeah... Uh..." Hakyeon cleared his throat and placed the completed cup of coffee in front of the other man, sitting down adjacent to him with his own mug, "A-and you? You said Sanghyuk's mother just... abandoned him?"  
  
The younger almost laughed. He guessed if he got to ask Hakyeon personal questions about his family, the other man had the right to do the same. Not that he minded answering that question, he had nothing to hide. "Yeah, she got pregnant, guilted me into staying with her and giving her everything she wanted until I realized I didn't need to torture myself by staying in a loveless relationship and left her when she was about eight months pregnant. Then she had the baby, kept him with her for three days and then dumped him on me and disappeared without a trace."  
  
"Wow..." the older muttered, taking all that in, "Were you two together when she got pregnant?"  
  
This time, Taekwoon did chuckle, "No. I hardly knew her before that night."  
  
"So she was a one night stand."  
  
"You could say that..." he mumbled, fingers playing with the mug handle, "It was kind of an... unwilling one night stand..."  
  
Hakyeon frowned, "What do you mean?"  
  
Again, Taekwoon chuckled, much more bitterly this time, "There was no consent involved. At it’s worst, I guess you could call it rape, but that just sounds ridiculous."  
  
"What..?" The older asked, just as, if not more, confused than ever, "What happened exactly?"  
  
The other man took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before starting, "I was working as a bartender at the club back then. She... was a regular customer there. She would always order a cocktail of some sort and sit at the bar alone, so I spoke to her on a few occasions. I found out afterwards that she was a little... obsessed with me."  
  
"Obsessed?"  
  
"Like a crush, but... crazier." Taekwoon explained, "But, anyway... She would always buy a drink for me and I always refused to take it because drinking during a shift was against the rules. But one day, she was still there when I finished my shift, so… I decided to take the drink from her. Just to humour her a little..." he paused, smiling despite the seriousness of his story, "And... the next thing I remember is waking up next to her in her apartment, feeling awful and incredibly confused."  
  
Hakyeon's eyes widened, "She... she _drugged_ you?"  
  
"Probably." Taekwoon shrugged, a bit too nonchalantly, "I can't think of any other reason why one shot would get me out of my own mind enough to sleep with... a woman."  
  
"Wait, what...?" The older asked, trying to figure out if he was reading into that statement correctly.  
  
Taekwoon shook his head, "Nothing, never mind."  
  
"You're... you're not even into women, are you?" Hakyeon concluded. The younger pursed his lips together but said nothing and the other man ran a hand through his hair, "God, then that must be ten times more horrible for you. Not that... being raped is better if it's by someone you're into, but... just... I'm sorry, I'll shut up. Sorry..."  
  
Taekwoon smiled, "It's ok. I got Sanghyuk out of that whole ordeal. It was worth it."  
  
Hakyeon felt his respect for this man sky rocket at that statement. Despite the fact that Sanghyuk wasn't conceived out of love and was essentially the result of deceit and a criminal act, the fact that Taekwoon adored that child made him amazing in Hakyeon's eyes. “Did you go to the police? Take her to court or something?”  
  
“No. I thought about it straight after it happened, but I had no real proof that we’d even slept together. And then, when it turned out that she was pregnant and I was the father, I didn’t want to cause her any stress in case it affected... my child.”  
  
The older nodded in understanding, "You're… a good father..." he spoke softly, "More than that, you're a good person."  
  
"I'm trying to be. It's not easy..." Taekwoon replied, voice equally as soft.  
  
Silence fell over the two of them as neither knew what to say from there. In the twenty minutes that they were together, they had both reopened old wounds and gone back to places they were perfectly happy not thinking about. But, at the same time, there was something almost comforting about being around someone who had issues of their own regarding their children and their lives in general.  
  
The sound of rushing footsteps sounded from down the hall and both men snapped out of their memory induced trances just in time to see Hongbin pop around the corner and into the kitchen.  
  
"Dad, can we have the third PlayStation controller for Sanghyuk?" The ten year old asked, bopping up and down on his heels.  
  
Hakyeon tilted his head at his youngest son, "Yeah, of course."  
  
"Well..." Hongbin continued, looking around somewhat nervously, "I think it's in Jaehwan Hyung's room."  
  
Hakyeon chuckled. Oh.  
  
Jaehwan, as was to be expected, had a rule that his brothers were not allowed in his room if he wasn't there and the fourteen year old was currently at a movie with his friends, so it made sense why Hongbin was coming to _Hakyeon_ to get a PlayStation controller.  
  
"Ok." Hakyeon replied, getting to his feet, I'll get it."  
  
Hongbin muttered a quick "Thanks, dad." before scampering back to his and Wonshik's room.  
  
Hakyeon paused and turned to the man still sitting at the kitchen table, "Come on. I'll show you around while I'm at it."  
  
Taekwoon nodded and stood up as well, following the older man out of the kitchen and into the next room.  
  
"So, this is the living room on the left." Hakyeon explained, "Out through that door is a patio that leads to the back yard and the pool house. We had to buy a house with a heated, indoor pool because that was Jaehwan's number one requirement when we moved here."  
  
"How long have you been here?" Taekwoon asked as they started down the passageway to the right.  
  
"About... ten years." Hakyeon replied, "We moved in a few months after the twins were born cause we needed a bigger place than the tiny little shoebox apartment we were living in."  
  
Taekwoon nodded and then waved to Sanghyuk as they stopped in front of the twins' room, beaming as the little four year old waved back happily.  
  
Hakyeon couldn't help the smile that crossed his face at the scene, "Uh, yeah, this is Wonshik and Hongbin's room, obviously. Jaehwan wasn't happy about them getting this room because it's bigger than his, but... there's two of them, so he just had to deal with it."  
  
They walked further down the passage until they got to the next two doors on either side of the hall.  
  
"That's the kids' bathroom on the left and this..." he opened the highly decorated door, filled with stickers of super heroes and grungy looking signs, "is Jaehwan's room."  
  
Taekwoon snorted, "Kinda looks like _my_ door about fifteen years ago."  
  
"I know, right?" Hakyeon laughed, stepping inside while his eyes scanned for the black PlayStation controller he was on a mission to find, "I guess we're all pretty much the same at that age."  
  
The older glanced down at the floor and groaned. Jaehwan's room was always messy. He had clean clothes and dirty clothes piled together on the floor amongst shoes, books and random junk that the teen had refused to get rid of. He spotted the controller on the desk in the corner and moved toward it, grabbing some clothes - the outfit Jaehwan had worn the previous day - off the floor to move it out of the way, only to freeze dead in his tracks when something fell out of the jeans pocket and hit the floor.  
  
A little square foil.  
  
Hakyeon felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as he stared at the sealed packaging, mind racing and going through a hundred different emotions at once. Jaehwan was fourteen years old. There should have been no reason for him to be carrying a condom around in his pocket...  
  
"It might not be what it looks like." Taekwoon spoke up, still standing in the doorway of the bedroom, "Take a deep breath."  
  
"Not what it looks like?" Hakyeon asked incredulously; ignoring Taekwoon's advice to breathe, "What other purpose could he _possibly_ be using condoms for?!"  
  
"They give them out in school sometimes." The younger stated, as calm as possible to try and counteract Hakyeon's rapidly heightening frenzied state, "For sex ed. Don’t you remember?"  
  
Hakyeon ran a hand over his face, "Oh my God, that better be it..."  
  
Taekwoon stepped into the room and placed a hand on Hakyeon's shoulder, squeezing comfortingly, "Come on. Let's give the kids the controller and drink our coffee. There's no point in stressing about it, just talk to him when he gets home."  
  
Hakyeon finally took in that deep breath and nodded, "You're right... You're right. He's a good kid, I... should give him the benefit of the doubt, huh?"  
  
The younger man stepped around Hakyeon and grabbed the controller before placing his hand on the older's upper back, "Come on."  
  
\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: OK! First chapter done~  
> I'm gonna upload 1 chapter a day since, as I said, this entire fic has been posted already on AFF, so it's all set and ready to go.  
> I hope you guys liked this chapter. Feel free to leave any comments/criticism cause I ALWAYS appreciate that.  
> See you guys in the next chapter!


	2. "It doesn't Matter."

Hakyeon's heart leapt into his throat as soon as he heard a car pull up in his driveway. The brother of one of Jaehwan's friends had driven them to the cinema in his old, rickety truck that could be heard a mile away, so Hakyeon recognized the sound immediately.  
  
"I should go." Taekwoon muttered, standing up from Hakyeon's couch. They had been talking for the past hour, but the conversation was pretty much just Taekwoon trying to distract Hakyeon by asking him the most random questions and only getting half-hearted answers in response.  
  
The older got to his feet immediately and held a hand out to him, "No. Please don't. I... need you as backup."  
  
"Hakyeon, this is between you and your son." The younger stated, "I have no right to get involved."  
  
"I trust your parenting skills more than my own." Hakyeon admitted, "If you weren't here earlier, I probably would have freaked out a lot more when I found the thing, so... please."  
  
Taekwoon sighed and sat back down, not wanting to be anywhere near the ensuing conversation, but feeling somewhat obligated, "Ok..."  
  
"Thank you." The older muttered as he walked a little closer to the kitchen - where Jaehwan would more than likely come in.  
  
As expected, the door in the kitchen opened and the fourteen year old walked inside, eyes trained on his cellphone until he stepped into the living room and noticed his father standing in front of him silently.  
  
"Hey Dad." He greeted, slipping his phone into his pocket.  
  
"Jaehwan..." Hakyeon started, unsure of how to go about doing this, despite the fact that he had been mentally rehearsing it for the past hour, "Jaehwan, tell me something... what did you do yesterday? At school."  
  
The teen looked around, glancing briefly at Taekwoon sitting awkwardly nearby, "Nothing?"  
  
"I don't mean it like that.” Hakyeon continued, realizing how accusatory that sounded, “I mean... what classes did you have? What did you do?"  
  
Jaehwan still looked weirded out but just shrugged, "The usual stuff. What does it matter?"  
  
His father took in a deep breath, "Did you have sex ed?"  
  
"What?" The teen frowned, confused and a little creeped out by his father potentially asking him something related to sex education, "Uh, no, I didn't. Why are you asking me random questions?"  
  
Hakyeon ignored the counter question and pulled the little square foil out of his pocket, "Then what's this?"  
  
Jaehwan went a little rigid and then let out a flustered laugh, "Uh... I dunno."  
  
"Don't you fucking lie to me."  
  
"Hakyeon..." Taekwoon piped up quietly, causing the older man to take in a calming breath.  
  
"Jaehwan, what _is_ this?" Hakyeon repeated more forcefully.  
  
"I don't know." The teen stated again, seeming slightly more irritated.  
  
Hakyeon growled before shoving the condom in Jaehwan's face, "What is this?!"  
  
"It's a condom!" Jaehwan shouted right back, "Not that _you_ would know anything about that..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look, I know what's gonna happen now." Jaehwan stated, "You're gonna give me some lecture on not having sex so young and all the risks involved and I'm just gonna stand here annoyed because you're a goddamn hypocrite."  
  
"Jaehwan..."  
  
"At least I _have_ a condom. I'm not gonna knock up some girl and have my first child when I'm fourteen, like some people."  
  
"Do not speak to me like that." Hakyeon warned, feeling his blood start to boil, "You have no idea how hard it was raising a child when we were children ourselves. It was a mistake. We were blinded by love and lust and we gave up _everything_ for you. We didn't finish school, didn't get to study in a university, had to give up what we dreamed of doing in life because we suddenly had a little baby to look after."  
  
"I know." Jaehwan spat, "You let me know exactly how much of an unwanted mistake I was on a daily basis."  
  
His father rubbed his temples, "I love you, Jaehwan, don't doubt that. What I'm saying is... if you're not careful, you could end up in the exact same situation that I was. And I was actually lucky; your mother and I stuck together throughout everything, that doesn't happen often with teenage parents."  
  
"That's why I'm gonna use condoms. So I don't make the same mistake."  
  
"Condoms are just a precaution, they're not fool proof." Hakyeon explained, "They break, they malfunction, they tear. Just... don't do it."  
  
"I told you, I'm not gonna take your hypocrisy seriously." The teen replied, sounding somewhat bored, "The fact of the matter is; I _am_ learning from your mistakes. I've learned to actually use protection instead of just fucking someone without anything and then crossing my fingers and hoping for the best."  
  
"Watch your mouth, Jaehwan..." Hakyeon warned again, earning an eye roll from his son. He groaned in irritation, feeling himself start to get legitimately angry, "I know what I'm talking about. I've been there."  
  
"Yeah. And it messed you up so bad, you then _willingly_ decided to have two more kids before you were twenty."  
  
"Oh my God..." Hakyeon angrily ran a hand through his hair, "Fine. If you wanna fuck up your life then go right ahead, but I'm not gonna be here when--"  
  
He stopped abruptly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and automatically took a few deep breaths, suddenly remembering the presence of the third person in the room.  
  
Taekwoon turned to look at the teenager curiously, "So… have you ever _had_ sex?"  
  
"No, _Mom_." Jaehwan replied, frowning at the intruder before turning that look on Hakyeon, "Why is he here?"  
  
"Just answer the question." His father demanded tiredly.  
  
"I said no. You found the condom, I obviously didn't use it and I'm not stupid enough to sleep with someone without it."  
  
"It's not a matter of stupidity. It's circumstance." Taekwoon spoke, keeping his voice calm and level, "People do get blinded by lust and end up doing stupid things because of sexual attraction, but more often than not, it's a situation that can just... happen."  
  
"What are you talking about?" The teen asked, folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"I mean... you could _say_ that you're responsible and that you won't ever have sex without protection, and you might even _be_ responsible in every other situation too, but if you're with someone you feel very strongly about, whether it be physically or emotionally, and things start heating up and you don't have a condom on hand... chances are, you're gonna sleep with them anyway." Taekwoon elaborated, "You'll regret it after the passion wears off, but it might just be too late by that point."  
  
Jaehwan glanced around, but didn't say anything.  
  
"I'm not saying that _will_ happen to you. All I'm saying is that it's a possibility and the more lax your stance is on sex, the more likely you'll be to make rash decisions like that."  
  
"Besides..." Hakyeon added, "Pregnancy isn't the only thing you need to worry about. STDs can be a lifelong thing too, depending on what it is. And most teenagers don't bother getting tested, so they themselves don't even know if they have something."  
  
“I do kn--…” Jaehwan sighed and pressed the heels of his palms over his eyes, "Never mind. Ok."  
  
Hakyeon raised an eyebrow, "Ok?"  
  
"Ok. I'll hold off. I'll think about what you said." The teen stated.  
  
Hakyeon wanted to believe him, but he knew Jaehwan sometimes just said things to get out of the current situation. He guessed, in this case, that all he could do was take his word for it.  
  
"Can I go?" Jaehwan asked.  
  
Hakyeon nodded and the teen wasted no time in walking down the hall to his room.  
  
When he was out of sight, Hakyeon turned to look at his companion still standing next to him, "Thanks. That could have gone much worse.” He muttered with a humorless laugh.  
  
"You need to speak to him the way you would’ve liked your parents to speak to you when _you_ were that age." Taekwoon shrugged, "That's how I see it anyway."  
  
Hakyeon smiled, "Yeah. That makes sense. Thank you."  
  
\-------  
  
  
  
The next time Hakyeon saw Taekwoon was a week later. He had offered to take the twins with him and Sanghyuk to the mall to play some games or just walk around and hang out.  
  
Hakyeon agreed, but let him know that it would only be Hongbin since Wonshik had an appointment with a doctor of some sort.  
  
Now Hongbin and Sanghyuk were walking hand in hand through the mall, excitedly pointing at things and talking about whatever came to mind with Taekwoon following close behind them.  
  
It was nice. Sanghyuk never had a real friend and his father found it a little funny that, while Sanghyuk now seemed to have found two in the form of Hakyeon's twin boys, Taekwoon himself felt like he might have also finally found a real friend in their father.  
  
It was kind of an odd relationship. But Taekwoon had to admit that he liked it.  
  
"Guys, let's go in here." He suggested, cocking his head in the direction of a nearby electronics store, "I need to buy an SD card and maybe we can check out the 3D TVs while we’re at it."  
  
Hongbin looked up at him with big, sparkly eyes, "You're getting a 3D TV?"  
  
"I've been thinking about it." Taekwoon admitted as they walked into the store, "Sanghyuk and I both want one, so why not?"  
  
"Wow..." the younger twin replied, clearly awestruck, "We don't even have an HD TV."  
  
"How come?" Sanghyuk asked and Taekwoon gently patted him on the back as a signal not to ask things like that.  
  
Hongbin sighed, "Dad says we can't waste any money cause we need to save up enough to pay for Wonshik's surgery."  
  
"Surgery?" Taekwoon questioned, "For what?"  
  
"It's re... Uh... reconstruct... reconstructive surgery for his face." The ten year old replied, seemingly proud that he remembered that word.  
  
Taekwoon was tempted to ask what had happened to Wonshik that left the side of his face so mangled, but he barely managed to stop himself, figuring that he should try asking Hakyeon again instead since it seemed to be rather serious.  
  
"Oh. Ok." He muttered before pointing in the direction of the storage devices and attempting to put an end to that conversation.  
  
He picked out an SD card while the kids hung out nearby, Hongbin looking at everything with a sense of awe while Sanghyuk gave him detailed explanations about what each gadget was.  
  
"Alright. I got it." Taekwoon stated, "Success. Let's go look at the TVs over th--"  
  
The sound of something heavy falling and glass breaking cut off Taekwoon's sentence as he and both kids jumped from the shock.  
  
They turned to the direction of the sound and spotted a glass shelf with computer monitors that had fallen over and shattered into a million pieces.  
  
"Geez. That’s… a waste of a bunch of good monitors. If they didn’t want them, we’d take them, right?." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little because Hongbin suddenly looked _very_ scared.  
  
Taekwoon watched the ten year old as his eyes widened and his breathing picked up, staring pointedly at the floor. His little hand reached up to grasp at his chest and Taekwoon knew something was wrong.  
  
"Hongbin... are you ok?" He asked softly, leaning closer to the child, "I know that was scary, but it's ok, it's just a shelf."  
  
Hongbin's breathing got worse to the point where he seemed like he was hyperventilating and Taekwoon felt himself start to panic.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked, placing a hand on the child's arm.  
  
Hongbin looked up at him with so much fear in his eyes that it broke Taekwoon's heart, "I c... I can't breathe... I..."  
  
"Ok, we're leaving." Taekwoon announced, picking Hongbin up and carrying him out of the store, discarding the item he'd wanted to buy, "Sanghyuk..."  
  
Sanghyuk caught up with them and looped his fingers through one of Taekwoon's belt loops, looking confused and a little scared, but still doing what he was supposed to as they quickly made their way out of the mall.  
  
Getting to the car, Sanghyuk opened one of the back doors to let Taekwoon place the hyperventilating ten year old into the car.  
  
"Hongbin..." Taekwoon spoke softly, feeling the child’s forehead, "Do you wanna go to the hospital?"  
  
Hongbin shook his head, "I... I wanna... I wanna go home..."  
  
Somewhere in the back of Taekwoon’s mind, he knew he should have just taken him straight to the hospital, but Hakyeon was not around and he had no idea about Hongbin’s medical history or drug allergies or anything like that. He could have very easily made things worse, so he decided to just do what Hongbin had asked. "Ok, let's go."  
  
The ride back to Hakyeon's place was tense, even more so when the car started moving and Hongbin frantically scrambled for his seat belt, barely able to hold onto it thanks to how much he was shaking and forcing Sanghyuk to put it on for him instead. Taekwoon looked at them in the rear view mirror often, feeling his heart pound in his chest as he made his way to his destination as fast as he could.  
  
If something happened to Hongbin while he was in Taekwoon's care, he didn't know how he would live with himself.  
  
Finally pulling up to the house after what felt like forever, Taekwoon undid the now sobbing child's seat belt and lifted him out of the car while Sanghyuk rang the doorbell.  
  
The door opened after a minute, Jaehwan stood on the other side and Taekwoon suddenly remembered that Hakyeon was still at the doctor with Wonshik.  
  
"J-Jaehwan, uh... Call your dad. Tell him he needs to come home." Taekwoon demanded, trying his best to sound like he _wasn't_ panicking.  
  
Jaehwan stared at his crying brother in the older's arms, "What happened?"  
  
"He's... he says he can't breathe, he's hyperventilating." Taekwoon explained nervously.  
  
"Put him down. Let him stand." Jaehwan demanded almost casually. Taekwoon looked at him in confusion and the teen repeated himself more forcefully, "Put him down."  
  
Reluctantly complying, Taekwoon placed the ten year old on his feet where the child immediately latched onto his brother, sobbing into his shirt between mantras of "Hyung."  
  
"It's ok..." Jaehwan whispered into the younger's hair, holding him in a comforting hug, "Breathe, Kong. Nothing's happening, you're ok."  
  
That seemed to have had some effect on Hongbin as he finally started taking deep, shaky breaths, still crying softly.  
  
"What... what's going on?" Taekwoon asked, holding a significantly freaked out Sanghyuk to his side.  
  
Jaehwan sighed, "He's just... having a really bad panic attack. He'll be ok, he just needs to breathe and ride it out."  
  
"A... panic attack?" Taekwoon questioned, "But why? He's so young."  
  
"He..." the teen started before shaking his head and somewhat glaring at the man, "He’s right here and I don't really think he wants to hear about _why_ right now."  
  
"Right. Sorry." The older apologized as Jaehwan slowly started leading his little brother towards the twins' room. "Should I... should I call your father?"  
  
"Yeah. Tell him what's going on."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
"He'll be fine." Hakyeon assured as he and Taekwoon stepped outside the house.  
  
"Sorry. I'm sure me panicking didn't help anything." The slightly younger man apologized, carrying his sleeping child who had probably passed out due to all the stress regarding his friend earlier.  
  
Hakyeon shook his head, "No, I should have told you before I let him go with you. It's just that... very specific things set him off and I guess I didn't expect, y'know... loud noises and breaking glass in a mall."  
  
"Why does he..?" Taekwoon started, unsure if he was pushing his luck by asking.  
  
"It's... a long story." The older answered, "But just know that he's sensitive to any kind of loud, crashing sound."  
  
"Ok, yeah..." Taekwoon muttered before opening the car door and placing Sanghyuk on the back seat.  
  
Hakyeon watched as the little four year old squirmed in his sleep, trying to get comfortable on the leather seats while his father placed his own coat over him for warmth. "I could give you a blanket." The older suggested before correcting himself, "Give _Sanghyuk_ a blanket, so you could use your coat. It's freezing."  
  
"No, I'm good. Thanks." Taekwoon argued, "It'll warm up once I get into the car."  
  
“You’re gonna catch a cold and then Sanghyuk will catch it from you and then the twins will catch it from him and then Jaehwan and I will catch it from them and then we’ll all be infected.” The older whined, “How about we just avoid that and you wear your coat?”  
  
The other man snorted, “Or you could just let me get into the car and put the heater on. In the time it’ll take you to get the blanket, I’d be a block of ice”  
  
"Then just... use _mine_ then." Hakyeon replied, taking his warm, thick, black jacket off and holding it in front of him.  
  
"Hakyeon..."  
  
"Just take it. You can't die of hyperthermia just yet, I might still need you." The older joked.  
  
Taekwoon laughed and closed the back door of the car before taking the jacket being handed to him, "At least I know your kids won't ever be cold."  
  
"My kids get cold as easily as I do, so they always have warm clothes on hand as well." Hakyeon shrugged, "We're that family that will be in huge puffy coats and scarves and earmuffs while everyone else is wearing hoodies."  
  
The younger chuckled as he put on the jacket, sighing in contentment because it was still warm from Hakyeon's body heat and it smelled like him and that was weirdly comforting for some reason. Hakyeon was, obviously, cold now and hugged himself in an attempt to keep warm.  
  
"I should probably go before _you_ die of hyperthermia." Taekwoon mused, stepping closer to the driver's door.  
  
"I might not make it back to my front door." The older joked back, blowing warm air into his hands and shivering dramatically.  
  
"Then how about this..." Taekwoon held the jacket open and moved toward the other man, wrapping it around his shoulders in a warm, intimate hug.  
  
Too intimate.  
  
Hakyeon went completely still, eyes wide as he did his best to keep his breathing calm by taking in deep breaths, only to regret it a second later when all he could smell was purely _Taekwoon_. The smell of some sort of citrus shampoo was vaguely there, masked by the younger man's cologne mixed with the scent of his skin. Subconsciously, Hakyeon closed his eyes and tilted his head toward the side of Taekwoon's neck to breathe in more of that scent, feeling somewhat heady from it and just barely resisting the surprising urge to taste the exposed skin.  
  
All too soon, he felt the younger man shift and briefly felt the tips of Taekwoon's hair brush against his cheek before the jacket was no longer around him and Taekwoon's fingers were placed gently on his jaw, coaxing him to look up at him.  
  
Hakyeon kept his eyes closed but complied and lifted his head, feeling his pulse race at the feeling of the other's breath on his lips and the realization of how close they were.  
  
It was almost too much. Almost overwhelming.  
  
Almost...  
  
"You're... you're strangely ok with this... For a straight guy..." Taekwoon whispered, lips barely brushing against those of the older man, making him shudder at the feeling.  
  
Hakyeon gulped, "I... never said I was straight..."  
  
"You were married to a woman and had three kids with her." The younger mused, smiling at the strangeness of this moment.  
  
"Yeah. I loved her... and I was attracted to her." Hakyeon admitted, "But only her... I've never... never felt a real attraction to _anybody_ else, man or woman..."  
  
"And now..?" Taekwoon questioned, feeling himself get nervous and finding himself wanting a specific answer from the older man.  
  
Hakyeon paused for a few moments and then finally closed the gap between them, capturing the younger's lips in a soft, slow, sweet kiss. Taekwoon sighed into the kiss and Hakyeon felt himself melt into his embrace as every high strung nerve in his body seemed to relax all at once.  
  
Taekwoon's lips were soft and he kissed with a gentleness that made Hakyeon's knees weak. But kissing him was very different from kissing his former wife.  
  
He kissed softly, but his body was firm against Hakyeon's own. He was taller and broader than Hakyeon was. His arms were strong and the older felt strangely... safe.  
  
It was different.  
  
And Hakyeon loved it.  
  
Taekwoon was the one who broke the kiss, pecking the older one last time for good measure before pulling back a little and smiling bashfully at the other man. "Um... I, uh... I'll see you soon."  
  
"Yeah..." Hakyeon breathed out, still a little dazed. He took in a sharp breath and got his senses back as soon as Taekwoon took a step backwards and he cleared his throat, "Yeah, I'll... I'll probably see you at school, but... I'll call you as soon as Hongbin’s feeling better..."  
  
The younger tipped his head down and smiled before opening the car door and sitting inside. He shut the door and opened the window, "Tell Hongbin he can come over and watch 3D movies with us whenever he wants. And Wonshik and Jaehwan too."  
  
Hakyeon managed a small smile, "Thank you. I will..."  
  
"Go inside, Hakyeon. You'll catch a cold." Taekwoon warned, "Bye.”  
  
"Bye..."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
It was always nice seeing the twins enjoy themselves. They had both been through so much in the past year that it always made Hakyeon's heart melt a little more whenever he could see the happiness shining in Wonshik's good eye or whenever Hongbin would throw caution to the wind and just laugh genuinely. They were both strong, but sometimes they just needed to be kids.  
  
The problem was, Hakyeon didn't always know how to _let_ them.  
  
"How come you swim with a shirt on?" Sanghyuk's soft voice pulled Hakyeon away from looking at his kids.  
  
He was sitting on the steps in their heated pool, splashing around with Sanghyuk as the four year old hadn't quite learned how to swim yet, while Taekwoon played with the twins deeper in, racing them and teaching them how to do tricks underwater.  
  
"Um..." he looked down at his wet black t-shirt, pulling at it a little, "I don't like to take it off. I just prefer to wear it."  
  
"Oh..." the child replied, seemingly happy with that answer as he immediately went back to splashing and playing with the water.  
  
Hakyeon's eyes went back to looking over his two children - Jaehwan didn't bother to swim with them as he had 'better things to do' - before finally landing on Taekwoon.  
  
They hadn't spoken about it. Hadn't addressed it at all. But he would catch the younger man staring at him and it made his heart flip for reasons he refused to admit.  
  
It wasn't because Taekwoon was a man. Hakyeon had never bothered to consider himself any specific sexuality as he had been in love with one person from the time he was going through puberty right up to the moment she died. _She_ was his sexuality, he was attracted to _her_.  
  
Nobody had managed to rival that before, but Hakyeon was so strangely drawn to Taekwoon. He didn't know exactly why, but if he had to guess, it had something to do with the younger man hugging him the other day.  
  
Yes, the kiss was nice, but it was the way Taekwoon held him that made Hakyeon smile whenever he thought about it. For the first time, Hakyeon was the smaller of the two. Taekwoon's arms could fit easily around his body and hold him firmly. Hakyeon could have buried his nose in the junction of Taekwoon's neck if he wanted to.  
  
He felt... vulnerable. But at the same time, he felt protected. Cared for. Like, for once, he didn't have to be the responsible one, the one that had to be so put together and strong.  
  
He could actually rely on somebody else and that feeling was more liberating than he could have ever imagined.  
  
"Uncle Hakyeon?" Sanghyuk's voice once again pulled Hakyeon out of his thoughts.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
The child looked up at him with curious eyes, "What happened to Wonshik Hyung's face?"  
  
"Sanghyuk." Taekwoon scolded from the middle of the pool, obviously overhearing the question. His son looked at him and Taekwoon gave him a look in return.  
  
Hakyeon smiled, "It's ok." He turned to look back at the four year old, "He got hurt, sweetie. He got hurt pretty badly and it won't heal on its own. A doctor has to fix him. But, he'll always be Wonshik. It doesn't matter what his face looks like, right?"  
  
Sanghyuk shook his head and went back to playing with a soft "It doesn't matter."  
  
It didn't matter.  
  
Wonshik had been so distressed and self-conscious about it when it first happened that he insisted he wear something over his face at all times and, when they couldn't find an actual mask for only half of his face, he and his brothers _made_ one out of tissue paper and ribbon.  
  
They had made a few more over time and got better and better at it that it started looking like an official medical mask made specifically for him. Well, a medical mask that sometimes had exaggerated anime expressions and little curly moustaches drawn onto it.  
  
Wonshik seemed to like it though and it was a good way for the three of them to spend some time together because, no matter how much Jaehwan had 'better things to do' than hang out with them, his brothers meant the world to him and he would drop everything to make sure Wonshik didn't have to go out without a mask and be embarrassed about it.  
  
It seemed to have become a part of life for the older twin, but he did hold out hope that he would be normal again. Hakyeon couldn't see that happening anytime soon though.  
  
He tried his best, but cosmetic surgery was expensive and he wasn't willing to send his son to some cheap, unreputable surgeon.  
  
"Hakyeon."  
  
He was, for the third time in the past twenty minutes, brought back to the present by someone talking to him. This time it was Taekwoon, his mind registered a moment later.  
  
"Yeah?" He answered, blinking at the younger man who he suddenly noticed was standing right in front of him.  
  
Taekwoon picked up Sanghyuk and put him on his shoulders, "You look like you're spacing. I just want to make sure you know I've got Sanghyuk, in case you don't see him next to you and assume he jumped into the water on his own."  
  
Hakyeon chuckled, "You know what the funny thing is? That's exactly what I would have thought."  
  
"I figured." Taekwoon mused, walking backwards with his child laughing happily at the idea of going to the deep side of the pool.  
  
The older smiled, keeping their eyes locked until Taekwoon turned around, lifted Sanghyuk off his shoulders and lowered him down to let him touch the water.  
  
Hakyeon sighed, leaning back and letting the water flow over his body. It was strange to relax like this. This was the first time he had felt so calm in an entire year.  
  
And a part of him knew that he had Taekwoon to thank for that.  
  
\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 2 done~ I almost forgot to upload today, but I just made it (kinda, it's 11pm right now, I still got an hour)  
> But anyway, I don't really have much to say other than a big thank you to silvadiva for the comment and to everyone who gave me kudos (even though I still don't quite know what that means, but I'm assuming it's a good thing lol OTL)  
> See you tomorrow, y'all~


	3. "We'll Be Ok If We Stick Together."

Taekwoon spotted Hakyeon in the corner of a small, sparsely filled, twenty four hour diner with his head resting on his crossed arms on the table top.  
  
It was just before six a.m. and it was dark and cold outside, so the warm, cozy little diner was very welcoming. But he still had no idea why he was there.  
  
Hakyeon had called him ten minutes ago, in tears, obviously upset and apologizing profusely for waking him up so early. He said he just 'needed someone' and Taekwoon was the first person he thought of. That was all the information he gave, that and the address of the diner.  
  
Taekwoon got dressed in record time, threw on the first set of clothes he found, dropped a sleeping Sanghyuk off at a neighbour, claiming that it was an emergency, and thought of all the horrible things that could have happened as he raced toward the meeting point.  
  
"Hey..." he greeted softly, standing opposite the older man at the table.  
  
Hakyeon looked up at him, red and puffy eyes proving that he'd been crying for a good while and still filled with tears that fell every time he blinked. He tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace, "Hi."  
  
Taekwoon looked at him for a moment, taking everything in. He was in bad shape, clearly. Taekwoon felt like he would have cried along with him if he kept staring.  
  
"What happened? What's wrong?" The younger man asked, sitting down next to his friend.  
  
Hakyeon wiped at his eyes with his sleeves and sighed, "Today, uh... It's... It's been a year... Exactly..." he replied, slurring his words a little and seemingly struggling to focus his gaze on his companion. He was clearly out of it and more than a little dazed.  
  
"A year?" Taekwoon asked, not quite catching on.  
  
"Since, uh... Since she..." the other man managed and Taekwoon's mouth opened in silent realization. "I... planned to come here by myself and get it out of my system a little before the kids woke up, but..." he forced a choked laugh, "That didn’t work too well… I feel worse than I would have if we were all together…”  
  
“You all should have just stayed indoors together today. Just, y’know… talk about her. Reminisce. Hell, maybe it’d do you some good to do that right now, if you want. Tell me about her, I’m listening.”  
  
Hakyeon took in a deep breath, “Wow, uh… where do I start?” he traced patterns on the table in front of him with his fingertip, trying to collect his thoughts, “We, uh… were in middle school together. She was a year older than me and a grade above me, but we still hung out. I… I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but I was so in love with her before I even knew what love was.” He smiled at the fond memories of sweet innocence before taking another deep breath and continuing, “I was thirteen when I first asked her out. She… I dunno what made her agree, but she did and we started dating from back then.”  
  
His expression shifted to a somewhat darker one and Taekwoon suddenly felt nervous about what was to come.  
  
“A-and then… she was in high school the next year and… for my fourteenth birthday, she invited me to a house party and… We’d been trying to find a way before that to… spend some time alone together, away from our families, long enough to… to... y'know…” he cleared his throat, “That party provided the perfect cover and… I… think you can put the pieces together…”  
  
“She got pregnant with Jaehwan, I assume.”  
  
Hakyeon nodded, “Yeah… It didn’t seem like a big deal at first. Even though my parents… wanted nothing to do with the baby, hers were still pretty supportive. They helped us out with everything for the first year and a half and we both thought it would just be smooth sailing the whole way through. But then I turned sixteen and they stopped all kinds of financial and physical support. They still loved Jaehwan and we still lived with them for the time being, but they refused to do anything to help us because we had to learn to take care of him on our own... We both had to leave school… she stayed home with Jaehwan because her parents wouldn’t and we couldn’t afford to hire someone or put him in a day care. I got a job. I… earned barely anything at first, but after a year, we had enough to move out of her parents’ place and get a… tiny little apartment. We got married when I was eighteen.” His eyes fluttered closed, “I miss her…”  
  
Taekwoon wrapped an arm around the older man and pulled him in, letting him rest his head on his shoulder, "I... can't say that I understand what you're going through. I'm not gonna even _pretend_ to know how you feel right now, but... I'm here."  
  
"You are..." Hakyeon replied, letting his lips quirk into a slight smile, "I don't know many... I don't know _any_ other people who would do this for me. Thank you..."  
  
"You're welcome." The younger spoke softly, "What can I do? What do you need?"  
  
"I just need you to be here." Hakyeon answered, tilting his head up to look the other man in the eye, "I just... I need _you_..."  
  
Taekwoon pursed his lips together, suddenly feeling _very_ uncomfortable. It wasn't that he didn't want to comfort Hakyeon on the one year anniversary of his wife's death, he just felt like it was almost... disrespectful.  
  
He and Hakyeon had kissed, Taekwoon was attracted to him and he was half sure that the feeling was mutual. And now, with the way the older man was looking at him, he felt like he was belittling her memory or something.  
  
"What's up?" Hakyeon asked, having noticed how the younger had tensed up.  
  
Taekwoon may have been uncomfortable with this, but Hakyeon needed him there anyway, "Nothing, I'm just... Do you... don't you think it's wrong for us to… be here together?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I mean..." the younger fidgeted, "You and I..."  
  
Hakyeon glanced away, picking up on what the other man was saying, then sighed, "I think... you being here is perfect. _You_ , specifically."  
  
"Why?" Taekwoon asked unsurely.  
  
"Because... She's gone. She's not coming back... I... need to move on eventually..." he muttered, "And... a part of me wants to move on with... with your help..."  
  
The younger gulped, "Hakyeon..."  
  
"I'm not... trying to guilt you into anything. I'm not even trying to imply that there's something between us." Hakyeon assured, "But... I feel like... The fact that I feel _something_ when you’re around... it might be proof that I _can_ move on. That... maybe... my life didn't end with hers..." Taekwoon stayed silent and the older continued with a smile, "Besides...she was an amazing person. I'm sure she wouldn't be opposed to my happiness and... you make me happy."  
  
Taekwoon felt every emotion build up inside him as he looked into the other man's eyes.  
  
Elation was the first. He had felt an attraction to Hakyeon from the day they sat next to each other during parents' evening at the school. But the ring on Hakyeon's finger and the assumption that he was happily married to the twins' mother made him decide to keep that attraction to himself. Finding out now that the older man might have felt the same way was an incredible feeling.  
  
The second emotion was sadness. Hakyeon was hurting and Taekwoon was hurting _for_ him. He didn't know what to do to help in that regard since he had never been in the position of losing the person he was madly in love with for half of his life. The only thing he _could_ do was be there for him.  
  
The third was fear. Anxiety. The discomfort and apprehension of things changing in his life. He and his son were happy the way they were. It was just the two of them, it had been that way ever since Sanghyuk was born, and Taekwoon liked it like that. He liked the weekends where they would just stay home and play games together or the days they would go out and have too fancy dinners with Sanghyuk wearing his cute little tuxedo and a bow tie. But now...  
  
If Hakyeon became a bigger part of his life, his kids would as well.  
  
Not that Taekwoon didn't like them, he did. He had a lot of fun with the twins over the past few weeks. Wonshik was the sweetest kid on the planet while Hongbin was a little sassy, but incredibly thoughtful. Together they were a force to be reckoned with and Taekwoon enjoyed hanging out with them.  
  
Jaehwan... was a little different. While the teenager found Sanghyuk really cute, he didn’t seem all too fond of Taekwoon. Taekwoon wasn't sure if it was because Jaehwan felt like he was encroaching on his family because he was with them so often, or if it had something to do with Taekwoon 'mothering' him when Hakyeon had confronted him about the condom back then. Either way, he had a tendency to glare at Taekwoon, send him dirty looks or just outright ignore him and keep as big a distance between them as possible. Taekwoon hoped he would warm up to him eventually, but for now, their relationship was rocky at best.  
  
He blinked rapidly a few times as he brought himself out of his thoughts and back to the present moment; with Hakyeon leaning on his shoulder, looking up at him with hopeful, bloodshot eyes.  
  
He was getting way too ahead of himself. Hakyeon just said that he feels something for him, not that he wanted to marry him. He didn't even say that he wanted to _date_ him, he shouldn't have even been considering it...  
  
Finally making some sort of move, he leaned in and kissed the older man softly. It was a little forward and he wasn't sure if it was the best thing he could have done in that moment. Taekwoon still had that stabbing thought in the back of his mind that he was figuratively dancing on the grave of Hakyeon's deceased wife by making out with her distressed husband on the anniversary of her death, while he was at his most vulnerable.  
  
Still, he deepened the kiss, focusing solely on the feeling of the older's slightly chapped lips against his as he tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind.  
  
Hakyeon was right. She was gone. But Taekwoon was there. And if he had the ability to make Hakyeon smile and laugh and enjoy life then that's what he was going to do. Fuck his guilty conscience.  
  
The older man nipped Taekwoon's bottom lip, gently dragging it between his teeth and Taekwoon suddenly felt like even more of a horrible person for the spark of arousal that shot through his body.  
  
The younger reluctantly broke the kiss and pursed his lips, "Listen... I'm here. I'll be here if you need anything. But... I think... you should be with your kids." He paused as the other man looked away, seeming somewhat guilty, "It's ok if you're sad about it. It's ok to cry about it in front of them. It just... It'll show them how much you loved her..."  
  
"I know..." Hakyeon muttered, taking hold of Taekwoon's hand and playing with his fingers, "I _should_ be with them... I just... With everything that's happened over the past year... Wonshik's injury, Hongbin's panic attacks, Jaehwan becoming more and more detached from me and the whole... incident with him recently. And now... with you in the picture too..." he chuckled softly, "My... my emotions haven't exactly been stable. I didn't want to break down completely in front of them today..." he took a deep breath and lifted his head off Taekwoon's shoulder, "But I feel better. Thank you. You're a really good friend."  
  
Friend.  
  
Taekwoon smiled as best he could, "Anytime."  
  
\-----  
  
  
  
Hakyeon was livid as he pushed through the crowd of silent teenagers to get to his eldest son.  
  
He had explicitly told Jaehwan that he was not allowed to go to this party, but obviously the teen wasn't ok with that and decided to go anyway. It was a house party organized by some high school kids. Jaehwan insisted that the kids' parents would be there, but Hakyeon knew first-hand what high school house parties were like and, true enough, it turned out that the parents were actually away for the weekend to celebrate their anniversary.  
  
He, Jaehwan and the twins had spent the day together once Hakyeon went home after meeting up with Taekwoon that morning and, while it was an incredibly emotional time, they all got through it eventually. Wonshik cried and Hongbin spiralled into a full blown panic attack that lasted for over an hour, but by the time the two of them had gone to bed, they were smiling and laughing and that's all that mattered to Hakyeon.  
  
Sometime while Hakyeon was trying to help Hongbin through his tremors, Jaehwan had announced that he needed air and that he needed to take his mind off everything, so he was going to a friend's house to play games or watch a movie or something. Hakyeon agreed because everyone had their own way of dealing and if Jaehwan needed space, he would _give_ him space and allow him to do certain things if it would make him feel better.  
  
Going to an unsupervised house party was _not_ one of those things.  
  
Hakyeon wouldn't have even known Jaehwan was there if the father of a specific girl at the party hadn't called him, claiming that he caught his daughter and Hakyeon's son in a very compromising position in one of the bedrooms.  
  
He was beyond angry.  
  
He'd had enough of this rebellion. Enough of being walked over and lied to by his own child on a day as important as the anniversary of his mother's death. Enough of just taking a deep breath before he lost his temper. He was done.  
  
Walking up to where the girl's parents stood looming over the two terrified looking teenagers sitting on the couch, Hakyeon paused next to them for a moment before grabbing Jaehwan's arm and hauling him up onto his feet without a word.  
  
The fourteen year old hissed in pain as he was forcefully dragged out of the house by his enraged father, avoiding the judging eyes of all his peers as embarrassment washed over him. Finally, thankfully, making it outside into the cold air and away from the people who were supposed to be his friends but who he knew were going to make fun of him for this for at least the next two weeks, Jaehwan pulled his arm back, out of his father's hold and glared at him.  
  
"Get in the car." Hakyeon demanded, opening his door and waiting for the teen to do the same.  
  
Jaehwan groaned, "How could you do that in front of--"  
  
"Get in the _fucking_ car, Jaehwan!" Hakyeon shouted, seeing red.  
  
The teen held his tongue and complied with the request, opening the passenger door and getting in, clicking on his seat belt as Hakyeon got in on the other side.  
  
He started the car and quickly drove off, a little too fast and a little too rough for comfort.  
  
Jaehwan gulped, nervous about the speed and the angry driver, "Dad, please slow d--"  
  
"Shut up." Hakyeon replied simply, not taking his eyes off the road.  
  
"I... I didn't do anything."  
  
"I said shut up..." the older replied, voice soft and controlled but full of venom.  
  
"Listen to me..." the teen pleaded.  
  
"No!" Hakyeon argued, "I've listened to you enough. You lied to me. And I don't even know how many times you’ve lied to me in the past too. I'm not letting you off this time. You're not leaving the house for the next month for anything but school, understand?"  
  
"Dad..."  
  
"And you only get your cellphone during school hours. You give it to me when you get home every day."  
  
"What? What am I supposed to _do_ at home with no contact with the outside world for a whole month?"  
  
His father shrugged, "I dunno, maybe think about how you ran off to have sex with some random girl instead of being with your family when they needed you and mourning your mother's death."  
  
Jaehwan's heart sank to the pit of his stomach as he stared at the older man, "You... you're a terrible father... Mom would never have been so... horrible."  
  
Hakyeon chuckled bitterly, "I know... Probably would have been better if I was the one in the ground..."  
  
"I didn't say that." The teen replied softly.  
  
They stopped at a red light and Hakyeon leaned forward, resting his forehead on the top of the steering wheel and closing his eyes in a futile attempt to relax, "Jaehwan, you have no idea how hard this is for me..." he admitted, trying to stop his voice from shaking, "You, your brothers and your mother... you were my whole life, you were everything to me. When she died... that was one quarter of my life taken from me. When Hongbin stated having panic attacks, that was a knife plunged into another part of me. When Wonshik's beautiful face became so badly scarred, that was another one. You are... you're the only part of me that's intact and I need you, Jaehwan. I need you to help me, I need you to work with me. I can't do it on my own and I can't risk you getting hurt or destroying your life because of something as fleeting as sexual attraction because I don't think my heart will be able to take that..."  
  
A car horn sounded from behind them and Hakyeon looked up to see that the light had changed green. With a silent apology to the driver behind him, he took off again, this time driving slower and much more carefully.  
  
"I... Uh..." Jaehwan started quietly, looking down at his fidgeting hands, "I... I have feelings too... I don't like seeing Hongbin tremble when he’s scared or Wonshik cry when he looks at himself in a mirror. I... I don't like to think about Mom and the fact that she's not here. I can't deal with it... with _any_ of it." He gulped, looking at his father out of the corner of his eye, "It's too much. I have to get away from it all and... I'm not... gonna ruin myself by getting addicted to drugs and alcohol or something stupid like that, so... I needed... something else to make my mind go blank. Just for a little while..."  
  
Hakyeon felt a lump form in his throat as he took in everything he was just told. It hadn't clicked to him before because he was so focused on his own pain and now he felt like even more of a bad father. Jaehwan's rebelling wasn't some sort of teenage phase or just a slap in Hakyeon's face; it was a way of coping with the way his life had turned upside down in an instant and he suddenly had to grow up overnight. He was always there when Hongbin needed a hug or Wonshik needed reassurance that he wasn’t ugly, but being a source of comfort to two boys who were going through things no ten year olds should weighed far too heavily on Jaehwan's fourteen year old shoulders.  
  
He needed to lose control. Needed that escape.  
  
They made it home in silence, parking in the garage, but neither made a move to get out. Hakyeon looked over at his son, noticing the teen's misty eyes and reached an arm over to pull him closer, letting him rest his head on Hakyeon's shoulder while he tried to stop himself from crying. From showing any weak emotion...  
  
"I love you." Hakyeon assured, "And... I know it's hard, but... We'll be ok if we stick together. We will." He sighed into Jaehwan's hair, repeating the mantra of "We'll be ok."  
  
Jaehwan wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe that their family could go back to being happy. All of them. Without the twins' issues. Without the dark cloud that seemed to have been looming over Hakyeon for the past year that made him so... angry. Without his own need to just run and get as far away from them as possible.  
  
He wanted to believe it.  
  
But he couldn't. Not right now...  
  
\------  
  
  
  
Hakyeon wasn't really in a position to be judging someone else's parenting skills, but the way Taekwoon stood on the edge of a cliff and bent forward with his arms wrapped precariously around Sanghyuk's torso as the child's only protection while the two stared down at the freaking _abyss_ below almost gave him a heart attack.  
  
"What do you think, kiddo?" Taekwoon asked his son.  
  
Sanghyuk looked at the valley in amazement, "We're so high up. Do you anyone's ever fallen down here?"  
  
"We can hope not." His father replied, standing up straight and placing the child down on his feet, still heart-stoppingly close to the edge and Hakyeon felt like he might have a nervous breakdown if this continued.  
  
They had decided, after the rollercoaster of emotions that occurred a couple of days ago between Hakyeon and Jaehwan, that maybe they needed do something fun with other people and, since Hakyeon's family wasn't the most sociable, Taekwoon and Sanghyuk were the only people they could really call. Taekwoon was the one who suggested going on a hike up the side of a huge waterfall and, while they all weren't too thrilled at the idea - Jaehwan especially seemed beyond repulsed - they agreed and actually ended up enjoying themselves out in nature somehow.  
  
"Sanghyuk." Hakyeon called from his position _away_ from the edge, "Come here, sweetie."  
  
Obediently, Sanghyuk ran over to him and was lifted up into the man's arms as Hakyeon carried him on his hip.  
  
"It's dangerous to stand so close to the edge." He explained, eying Taekwoon murderously as the younger man approached them, smiling sheepishly.  
  
"Appa says it's ok as long as he's there." Sanghyuk replied.  
  
Hakyeon sighed, "Appa will be the reason I go grey prematurely..."  
  
Sanghyuk didn't seem to understand what that meant but smiled widely anyway and Hakyeon was sure he felt his heart melt into a warm little puddle.  
  
A small hand tugged on Hakyeon's shirt and he turned to see Wonshik looking up at him.  
  
"What's up?" His father asked.  
  
"I need the bathroom."  
  
"Oh. It's right there. Go, we'll wait here for you." Hakyeon stated, gesturing to the bathrooms only about ten meters away.  
  
Wonshik shifted nervously, "But there's... people..."  
  
Hakyeon smiled and petted his head, instinctively turning toward Jaehwan before pausing. Wonshik was obviously nervous that people were going to stare at him or make fun of him or start whispering behind his back about the so called 'ugly paper mask' on his face and Hakyeon's usual response was to make Jaehwan go with him for protection against these people, but...  
  
Wonshik was _his_ son. _His_ responsibility.  
  
"Ok, I'll go with you." He finally replied, handing Sanghyuk over to his father.  
  
"No, I got it." Jaehwan's voice piped up from behind him, "I know how to deal with those people."  
  
"It's alright, Jae, you can maybe take Hongbin to get some ice cream." Hakyeon argued back, "He wanted some."  
  
"Or _you_ could take Hongbin to get some ice cream and I'll go with Wonshik." The teen shot back.  
  
"How about you _both_ take Hongbin to get some ice cream." Taekwoon interrupted, " _I'll_ take Wonshik. Before the two of you shrivel up out here trying to out-nice each other."  
  
Hakyeon opened his mouth to protest but held his tongue when a giggling Sanghyuk was passed back to him and Wonshik took Taekwoon's hand.  
  
"Just don't forget to buy us ice cream too." Taekwoon spoke as he walked hand in hand with the ten year old to the bathroom.  
  
Sure enough, the moment they stepped in, a trio of teenage boys stared at Wonshik before one started chuckling quietly, quickly leading to the other two snickering along.  
  
It was worse than Taekwoon thought. Kids were brutal...  
  
"Is there a problem?" He asked the teens as Wonshik made to stand behind him.  
  
"No, sir." One replied, still giggling, "Just... cool mask, kid."  
  
Taekwoon knew they were just making fun of him. Wonshik knew that too. This would usually be the point where there would be a fist in the teen's face, courtesy of Jaehwan, but Taekwoon figured he'd rather take a different approach.  
  
He coaxed Wonshik out from behind him and urged him to just carry on as if they weren't there.  
  
"It _is_ a cool mask." Taekwoon replied as Wonshik walked past the kids to his destination, still nervous and unsure, "It's intriguing. Mysterious. It adds character." He paused, "Maybe if you guys had some of that, you wouldn't be hanging out in a bathroom, picking on smaller kids and you might, I dunno, have girlfriends or something?"  
  
One teen clicked his tongue and turned to his friends, cocking his head in the direction of the door, "C'mon. I guess this place is being invaded by old people and weirdos now..."  
  
Taekwoon stepped to the side and allowed them to pass, sending a menacing smirk at the last one to leave, causing him to quickly rush out.  
  
Wonshik, now standing at a sink, washing his hands, turned to smile at Taekwoon, "Thank you."  
  
Taekwoon shrugged, "I'm just telling the truth. The mask is cool. Being different is a lot more fun than being the same as everybody else. The world would be so boring otherwise."  
  
Wonshik dried his hands and walked up to the older man, "Dad sometimes says I look like the Phantom of the Opera. Whoever that is."  
  
Taekwoon laughed, once again taking hold of the child's hand, "You kinda do. Maybe next time we all get together, we'll watch the movie. And then I'll get you a mask like his.” Wonshik smiled and nodded as they left the bathroom to go meet up with the others. Taekwoon puffed out a breath of air, "I hope they got us ice cream..."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
"I have a proposition."  
  
"Marriage is a big commitment..."  
  
Taekwoon chuckled at that response from Hakyeon and shook his head, noticing the way Jaehwan shot him a glare. "Not that kind of proposition. I want you to come work for me."  
  
Hakyeon raised an eyebrow, slowly chewing on his too fancy food in this too fancy restaurant that Taekwoon had brought him and his boys to, "Work for _you_? Why?"  
  
"Because there's an opening. And I seem to remember you referring to your job as 'soul sucking'." Taekwoon replied, "I want you to be the regional manager."  
  
The older man choked, hitting himself on the chest a few times and violently clearing his throat before he could sufficiently breathe again, "You don't even know if I'm qualified."  
  
"I don't really _care_ if you're qualified." Taekwoon stated, playing with the rim of his wine glass with the tip of his finger, "The former regional manager was fired because it turns out he was stealing from us. If you can try _not_ to do that, then you can be his replacement."  
  
Hakyeon leaned in closer to the younger man, expression super serious, "Are you sure you're not just biased cause I'm adorable?"  
  
Taekwoon laughed, "Nope. I'm biased because your _kids_ are adorable."  
  
The older man grinned and sat back in his seat, "That is true. But... we're gonna have to talk about, y'know, money, hours, stuff like that, before I accept anything."  
  
"Of course. I just want you to consider it." Taekwoon assured, "Before you do, I want you to go see the club. Get a feel for it cause you might have to get involved there sometimes."  
  
"Uh... yeah, ok. I'll check it out." Hakyeon replied, nodding his head, "Let me know when you wanna go."  
  
The younger raised an eyebrow, "You want me to go _with_ you?"  
  
"I'm almost thirty years old. I’ve been married for eleven years and have three kids, one of which is only four years away from being allowed in nightclubs himself." The other man complained, "I'm not gonna stroll into a club just like that."  
  
"You're almost thirty, Hakyeon, not fifty." Taekwoon mused, "Stop acting like a grandfather."  
  
"I haven't been to a club in over eleven years. The first and only time I ever went was the day after I got married. Which was also the day _before_ my honeymoon." Hakyeon explained, "And then my wife got pregnant and had two little boys and I never went again."  
  
"Where was I when you two were out partying?" Jaehwan asked from his spot next to his father.  
  
"You were away visiting your mother's family and getting spoilt rotten." Hakyeon answered, "They didn't want you to be there after the wedding because, y’know, wedding nights are--"  
  
"Oh my God, I'd rather not know..." the teen interrupted, cringing.  
  
Taekwoon chuckled, "Fine, I'll take you one of these days. Maybe next week sometime. But I think I'd rather take you there to have some fun and not _just_ on business. Because you need it. Badly."  
  
"Oh shut up, I'm perfectly fine." Hakyeon muttered, violently stabbing his steak.  
  
"Clearly..." Jaehwan mumbled.  
  
\-------


	4. 'Good Morning, Sunshine'

When Hakyeon opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a Spongebob themed post it note stuck on his lamp. He couldn't read what it said without his glasses on but tried to anyway, squinting until his eyes were almost completely closed.  
  
Then his senses all came back at the same time like a punch in the face and he groaned at the throbbing in his head and the fact that it felt like his stomach had done a one eighty degree flip.  
  
What the fuck happened last night..?  
  
Fumbling on his side table for his glasses, he finally located them and slipped then onto his head, blinking the sleep away as he read the post it.  
  
 _'Good Morning, Sunshine.'_  
  
That was it. That was all it said. Hakyeon was a little disappointed because he had hoped that it would have explained what happened. Just a little bit, at least.  
  
Sighing, he looked lower down to where he had found his glasses and spotted another note, this time placed under his contact lens case. Barely having enough energy to even _lift_ his hand again, he somehow managed to grab the corner of the note and pull it, causing his contact case to fall in the little gap between his bed and the side table. Great...  
  
 _'No, I didn't take your contacts out for you.  
That would be weird.  
You took it out yourself, but you were so far gone that you probably don't remember.'_  
  
Well... that explained something he wasn't even really wondering about.  
  
With a pained groan, Hakyeon sat up and cradled his head in his hands. Yesterday, Taekwoon had taken him to his nightclub, which Hakyeon discovered was actually part of some upper class hotel in the city. He remembered Taekwoon telling him to just let go and have fun and he even remembered, albeit vaguely, the God knows how many tequila shots he'd had.  
  
He remembered dancing somewhere in between. The music was fast and upbeat, but he and Taekwoon were slow dancing. Or... More like just hugging and swaying in some secluded corner.  
  
He remembered bits and pieces of when he got home too. Taekwoon was telling him to be quiet so he didn't wake up the kids. He also remembered, with a full body, earth shattering cringe, that he had scolded the babysitter - who they had only hired because Hakyeon was a little apprehensive about leaving Jaehwan in charge after midnight - for looking at Taekwoon 'like that'. She had just laughed and left and Hakyeon remembered being _very_ perturbed by that.  
  
That was the last thing he remembered, but he imagined that he couldn't have done all that much in the time after the babysitter left and the time he went to bed. Or passed out. He wasn't sure which...  
  
Finally being sufficiently awake enough to move, he turned to sit on the edge of the bed with his feet touching the cold wooden floor. He was still wearing yesterday's clothes and found some weird comfort in that. At least Taekwoon hadn't tried to change them for him, that would have taken their little game a bit too far.  
  
Getting up, he dragged his feet all the way to his bathroom, pausing to read the note on the door.  
  
 _'Don't worry.  
You didn't do anything TOO stupid last night.'_  
  
He ripped the note off the door and let it fall to the floor while he stepped into the bathroom. On the mirror was another note that Hakyeon read over and over again while he lazily brushed his teeth.  
  
 _'Well, you did go off on me about not officially asking you out and how tired you were of waiting for me to make the first move.'_  
  
Had he really said that? Had he drunkenly admitted that he wanted a relationship with his kinda-friend-kinda-more companion like some sort of cliché romance movie lead?  
  
After rinsing his mouth out and splashing some water on his face in a pathetic attempt to feel at least a _little_ alive, he went for his towel, spotting yet another note on it.  
  
 _'I already MADE the first move.  
I know technically YOU kissed ME that day, but if I hadn't jacket hugged you, you would NOT have done anything.  
Admit it.'_  
  
True. Hakyeon probably would have just continued seeing him as being Sanghyuk's awkward father if they hadn't kissed that day next to Taekwoon's car. But two could play at that game, Hakyeon thought. If Taekwoon 'made the first move' by hugging him with his jacket, Hakyeon made a pre-move by _giving_ him the jacket to begin with.  
  
He patted his face dry and turned around, putting on moisturizer as he read the note on the back of the bathroom door.  
  
 _'But since I know you're probably gonna argue with me, I promise I'll ask you out on an official date the next time I talk to you.  
I would do it in one of these notes, but I'm not THAT lame.'_  
  
With a weak chuckle, Hakyeon ripped that note off as well and crumpled it into a little ball before throwing it over his shoulder, letting it land in the sink behind him.  
  
He would accept that date so fast.  
  
Stepping back into his bedroom, he went for his house slippers and, of course, there was another note. Hakyeon had to wonder if Taekwoon was just lucky to have placed these notes in all the most perfect places or if he had help of some sort.  
  
 _'I was gonna stay over since it was 2:30 a.m. when we got back (3:00 when you finally stopped cursing the babysitter and went to bed) and Sanghyuk was already asleep all warm and cozy, wrapped up in blankets on the bean bag in the twins' room.  
But Jaehwan looked like he would have murdered me in my sleep if I did, so...'_  
  
Hakyeon smiled. Jaehwan was almost like Hakyeon's overprotective father and that was so hilariously ironic.  
  
Kicking the note off his slippers, he looked around for any he might have missed. There were two on his door, but he figured those were for last. There was another one on the wall near his curtain, Spongebob’s stupid grin just barely peeking out from under the heavy fabric.  
  
 _'If you're curious (and if you've found this one) Jaehwan helped me plant these.  
He told me what your most likely morning route would be and where the best places to stick them would be.  
(He didn't read them, but I think he might be a little suspicious)  
It turns out he doesn't hate me that much after all.  
Who knew?  
(Still scared to spend the night though. Kid is scary.)'_  
  
Jaehwan probably liked Taekwoon more than he let on. He was most likely just being cautious and making sure that the man wasn't up to no good. Jaehwan was protective like that. It was kind of a good thing that the teen hadn't read the notes though. Hakyeon probably should have spoken to the kids about Taekwoon ages ago, but he figured it wasn't serious and it wasn’t going to _become_ serious anytime soon, so he just put it on the back burner for the time being..  
  
Finally, after deciding that he had found all of Taekwoon's cute little treasure hunt notes, he walked to his door, reading what he assumed would be the last two.  
  
 _'The twins were asleep when we got back but Jaehwan knows EXACTLY why you were stumbling around and saying stupid things.  
(Calling the babysitter a slut for looking at me while I paid her was a STUPID THING)  
So, don't even TRY to talk your way out of it with him.'_  
  
Great... Something else Jaehwan could hold over his head...  
  
 _'Call me whenever you can.  
(After you hypocritically explain your delinquency to your son.)  
We can arrange an actual date.  
(Well... technically, last night was a date, right?)  
(Maybe we'll arrange a date that you can actually remember the next morning.)  
I enjoyed myself last night.  
And I assume you did too.  
Not that you remember.  
  
\- Taekwoon'_  
  
Hakyeon laughed.  
  
After all that, Taekwoon actually found it necessary to sign his name _just incase_ there was someone else in Hakyeon's life that hugged him with his jacket and took him out the previous night and was Sanghyuk's _father_.  
  
Taekwoon was still weird.  
  
But Hakyeon wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
\------  
  
  
  
"You're a goddamn liar..."  
  
Taekwoon laughed.  
  
Hakyeon had been muttering curses at him under his breath for the entire evening and, each time, the younger man just found it funnier. Even now, walking hand in hand in the hotel hallway, the curses and painless insults didn't let up.  
  
"How did I lie?" Taekwoon asked, somewhat sarcastically, "I'm taking you out, aren't I?"  
  
Hakyeon scoffed, "You specifically said 'a _date_ '. This is not a date, this is a business meeting."  
  
"They're mostly my family." The younger explained, "I'm basically taking you to meet my family."  
  
"That's just as bad!" Hakyeon stated, flailing his free arm frantically, "I haven't even been on a date with you yet and I'm already meeting your family."  
  
Still chuckling, Taekwoon pressed the button to call the elevator and then turned the older man by his shoulders to look at him while they waited, "Listen... I _promise_ you'll enjoy yourself tonight. We'll get this dinner over and done with, you can introduce yourself to your new co-workers and higher ups and get all those formalities out of the way. Then we can go back to the rooms, maybe change into something else because you don't look comfortable at _all_ in that suit, and then you and I can go out on our own."  
  
Hakyeon thought about that for a moment before sighing, "Yeah, ok. That sounds good."  
  
They were meeting with the rest of the hotel staff - because it turned out that Taekwoon's family owned the entire hotel and different family members owned different parts of it, Taekwoon’s part being the club - so that Hakyeon could introduce himself to them since he had recently decided to take the job offer that Taekwoon had given him. Taekwoon had a private suite at the hotel already and got a second, smaller room for the night as well. Since Hakyeon’s family was bigger, Taekwoon offered to spend the night in the smaller room with Sanghyuk while Hakyeon and his kids used the suite. They agreed that they didn't want to get a babysitter again - lest she _look_ at Taekwoon like last time - and the hotel was safe enough to have Jaehwan look after the three younger boys.  
  
Hakyeon's kids - including Jaehwan - also _wanted_ to stay at the hotel since they didn't really get to do things like that often and it was a new, interesting experience for them. They had Sanghyuk with them who, despite being only four years old, knew the place like the back if his hand and consequently knew how to have fun there. It was a little strange, putting his twins and his teenager in the hands of a four year old, but Taekwoon had assured him that they'll be fine and Hakyeon didn't argue.  
  
"And yes, I am uncomfortable." Hakyeon complained, pulling annoyedly at the fancy Armani suit Taekwoon had lent him, "How do you wear this stuff so often?"  
  
"Hakyeon, if you're gonna be part of this little... family, you're gonna have to start getting used to it." The younger stated.  
  
Hakyeon raised an eyebrow, "Hey, I just noticed something... Family, fancy suits, lots of money... you're not part of the mafia, are you?"  
  
Taekwoon laughed, "Why? You don't like the idea of being my mob wife?"  
  
"I have to be sure. You do sorta give off that whole sexy gangster vibe." The older muttered suspiciously.  
  
"I... would like to take that as a compliment." Taekwoon mused as the elevator finally stopped on their floor, "But no. Unfortunately, we are _not_ part of the mafia. We're just a big family who all ended up in the same line of work."  
  
"Uh-huh... I'm sure that's what all members of the mafia say." Hakyeon teased, stepping into the empty elevator.  
  
The other man walked in straight after him and immediately pressed the button to close the doors, not even waiting until they were fully closed before he wrapped his arms around Hakyeon's waist and pulled him in for a kiss, slipping his tongue into his mouth right away and revelling in the feeling. Hakyeon was caught off guard, but quickly leaned into the kiss because, as he’d learned over the past day, kissing was something Taekwoon did often. More often than Hakyeon had assumed he would. Not that he was complaining.  
  
They were still not officially a thing. In Taekwoon's post it story, he had promised to ask Hakyeon on a date, which he did, but they just had not gone on it yet.  
  
So, since they had not been on an official date as of yet, Hakyeon didn’t really think they were anything more than an unusual pair of friends that occasionally made out with each other. Still... there was obviously something there and Taekwoon's tongue drawing patterns against Hakyeon's was a big clue as to what that _something_ was.  
  
A thought suddenly came to Hakyeon and he hastily pushed the younger away from him, forcefully breaking the kiss in the process. He panted softly and glanced around, "Hey, aren't there usually security cameras in hotel elevators?"  
  
"Yup." Taekwoon replied simply, cocking his head in the direction of a well disguised camera in between two mirror panels.  
  
"Oh... And it doesn't bother you that people might be watching us making out?"  
  
"Not really. They've seen a _lot_ worse happen in this elevator."  
  
"Ew..." Hakyeon shuddered, suddenly trying not to touch anything for fear of what kind of... substances may have previously been on there, "That's kinda disturbing."  
  
"It's very disturbing." Taekwoon agreed, "So, two neatly dressed, upstanding people kissing suddenly doesn't seem so bad, does it?"  
  
"No. But that's not really the point." The older argued, "I just don't have any exhibitionist tendencies like you seem to."  
  
"Maybe you should develop some." Taekwoon smirked, "It's kind of exciting, isn’t it? You've been sexually active for over fourteen years, don't tell me you've never had sex in publi--"  
  
"Oh my God, no." Hakyeon interrupted, looking at the other man like he was crazy, "No. Don't tell me you _have_..."  
  
The younger shrugged, "I haven't had the opportunity. It's definitely on my bucket list though."  
  
Hakyeon raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, "Really? I would have thought that the sexy bachelor whose family owns a fancy hotel and who is almost literally swimming in money would have had more than enough opportunities to try out his deepest, darkest, kinkiest fantasies."  
  
"Yeah, well... that bachelor also wanted to just focus on himself and his future while he was in university and leave the relationships for after he graduated." Taekwoon explained, "And, for just over a year, he did mess around. Dated people for no more than a month at a time because nothing ever felt right to him. Never really trusted anyone enough to even _suggest_ anything out of the norm when it came to sex."  
  
"Oh. I see..." the older muttered in response.  
  
Taekwoon cleared his throat, "And then he got a girl pregnant and suddenly became the father to an incredibly curious, cute little boy and meaningless relationships didn't sound all that appealing anymore."  
  
"So, you haven't dated anyone since Sanghyuk was born?" Hakyeon asked as the elevator finally came to a stop and the doors opened to the ground floor.  
  
Taekwoon stepped out with his companion close behind, "No, I haven't. I keep telling myself that I will as soon as Sanghyuk's old enough to be a little less dependent, but... I dunno... I'm getting too comfortable being single."  
  
"Then why'd you pursue _me_?" The older questioned, stopping just outside the restaurant they were supposed to meet Taekwoon's family in.  
  
"It just worked out so perfectly." Taekwoon stated, "I didn't _plan_ to get close to you. I approached you because Wonshik was Sanghyuk's hero and I hoped they could become friends from the whole situation. I didn't count on his father being so... perfect."  
  
Hakyeon snorted, "'Perfect'... That's hilarious..."  
  
The younger held the back of Hakyeon's neck and gave him a quick, gentle kiss before pulling back just enough to speak against his lips, "Maybe not perfect... but flawed in the most perfect way..."  
  
The other man smiled, "Can you not say cheesy things like that to me right before I meet your family? I might feel the need to propose."  
  
Taekwoon laughed and took a step back, "Fine, let's go. Not that I would be opposed to that..."  
  
"Shut up." Hakyeon laughed back, walking ahead of Taekwoon into the restaurant.

He spotted Taekwoon's family, mixed with some of the other hotel staff immediately, despite having never met them before. It was clear that they were the big group of people sitting at a long table, laughing and joking and just being comfortable with each other. There were kids at the table too and even a baby and Hakyeon briefly wondered why Sanghyuk chose to hang out with Jaehwan and the twins instead of coming with them and playing with the kids who were most likely his cousins.  
  
Hakyeon bowed as respectfully as he could as he stood behind an empty chair, "Good evening."  
  
There were a few greetings back at him before Taekwoon was standing next to him and placing a hand on the older's lower back, "So, this is Hakyeon. Our, uh... non-stealing regional manager."  
  
"Ah, that's good. We've been looking for one of those." An older looking man joked and Hakyeon assumed that he must have been Taekwoon's father. "Have a seat, Hakyeon. Get to know everyone since you're gonna be part of our family from now on."  
  
Hakyeon nodded and tried not to chuckle at the thought of how that sentence could correlate with what he had said to Taekwoon before they walked into the restaurant.  
  
They both sat down next to each other before Taekwoon was immediately smacked on the arm by a woman sitting on his other side. He glared at her as he rubbed the spot on his arm that was just assaulted, "Ow..."  
  
"Why didn't you bring my adorable nephew with you? I wanted to see him more than I wanted to see _you_." The woman complained.  
  
"He's upstairs." Taekwoon explained with a sigh, "Maybe he didn't wanna come because you smother him until he practically can't breathe whenever you see him."  
  
"It's called a _hug_ , kiddo, you should try it sometime." She replied.  
  
She was probably Taekwoon's sister, Hakyeon concluded, watching the entire exchange. Hakyeon himself didn’t have much of a relationship with his own brother and sisters, but he knew, from years of observing his kids, that siblings could be savage with each other.  
  
"Sanghyuk's _just_ like Taekwoon." Another woman stated. Another sister? Cousin? Aunt? "They would both rather stay locked indoors watching movies or playing games than actually living."  
  
Taekwoon raised an eyebrow at her, "Would you rather he be just like his mother?"  
  
She paused before shuddering violently, "Ok, no. You have a point..."  
  
"He's already smarter than his mother." Yet another woman spoke and Hakyeon suddenly realized how many women were in Taekwoon's family. He assumed that this one was his mother, based only on the fact that she was obviously older and that Taekwoon looked _just_ like her.  
  
"His baby cousin is smarter than Sanghyuk’s mother." The first woman muttered.  
  
Hakyeon chuckled. It was nice that Taekwoon's family seemed to adore Sanghyuk as much as Taekwoon himself did. It's not that he had any reason to think they _wouldn't_ but, in his experience, close knit families like this were not fond of outsiders hurting any of their family members which Sanghyuk's mother obviously did. Sanghyuk was half his mother _and_ he was an illegitimate child, but they still loved him anyway and Hakyeon found that incredible.  
  
His own parents weren't exactly understanding when Jaehwan was born...  
  
"You should bring him down here. He should eat with the rest of us." Taekwoon's father suggested.  
  
"He's not by himself." Taekwoon explained, "He's with Hakyeon's kids. He's keeping them company, they're enjoying themselves."  
  
"Oh. How many kids do you have?" Taekwoon's mother asked, turning to the newest member of their 'family'.  
  
"Three." Hakyeon answered simply, unsure if he should elaborate or not.  
  
"Well, that's convenient. You'll fit right in then. There's a lot of kids in our family, as you can see." She replied light-heartedly, "How old are they?"  
  
"Uh, the oldest is fourteen and then I have two ten year old twins." He explained, preparing himself for the backlash. He was sure they had seen his resume or at least knew some basic information about him and being twenty nine and having a fourteen year old didn't always go down well.  
  
"Wow. You started young." The family head laughed softly and Taekwoon shot him a look. He lifted his hands in defence, "No judgement. I'm just making an observation. I see you have a ring on your finger, are you married, Hakyeon?"  
  
Taekwoon placed his hand over his face and looked down, muttering a quiet, disapproving "Appa..."  
  
"It's ok." Hakyeon smiled, subtly patting the younger on the back before turning back to his new boss, "I was. She died about a year ago."  
  
The man looked a little regretful, "Oh. I'm sorry."  
  
"What happened?" Taekwoon's mother spoke up as the whole table went silent, "If you don't mind me asking."  
  
Hakyeon gulped. All eyes were on him and he realized that he hadn't even told Taekwoon how it happened yet. "Uh... it was... a car crash. An accident."  
  
His eyes immediately went to the man next to him who no longer had his hand over his face and was instead just staring at the table with a deep frown etched into his features. The accident was something he should have spoken to Taekwoon about. It was something he should have spoken to _someone_ about.  
  
But he was protective when it came to his family and he knew that telling the whole story would be more difficult than anything, so he just swept it under the rug and planned to not bring it up for as long as he possibly could.  
  
"Sorry." Taekwoon's mother apologized.  
  
Hakyeon shook his head, "I... I never really spoke about it, but... thinking about it now, maybe it's better if I do." He smiled at her, "So thank you. For, uh… breaking the ice around it."  
  
She smiled back, "It'll be ok. You'll get through it. You have us to lean on now, sweetie."  
  
Hakyeon's smile widened, "Thank you..."  
  
Silence fell over the table for an awkward moment before Taekwoon's father cleared his throat and turned to his son, "So, uh... are you seeing anyone these days, kiddo?"  
  
Taekwoon pursed his lips and glanced briefly at Hakyeon before looking back at his parents, "Um... that's a... difficult question to answer."  
  
"Why?" His mother asked before picking up on Hakyeon's awkward fidgeting. Her mouth formed an 'o' shape and she nodded slightly in silent understanding, "So, he's a... _personal_ recommendation then."  
  
Her son eyed her, "Well, I trust him. So I guess you could say that."  
  
"I see..." She replied, smiling knowingly.  
  
"Wait..." his father suddenly spoke up as if he'd just realized something, "You and Hakyeon are together?"  
  
His wife obviously kicked him or something under the table, judging from the way he gripped his leg in pain, while both she and Taekwoon both sent him the most incredulous looks.  
  
"Really?" Taekwoon's sister piped up next to him, "Wow. You managed to find a nice, sexy guy before I did? Not only that, but you have four kids between you two. What am _I_ doing wrong?"  
  
"I dunno. Maybe your desperation?" Taekwoon shot back with a smirk and earned another smack on his arm from her, causing him to whine pathetically.  
  
"We're not actually together." Hakyeon explained, turning his head toward the sulking man next to him, "We're just... getting more acquainted with each other, I guess..."  
  
"Well then..." Taekwoon's father lifted his glass, "Welcome. Hakyeon."  
  
\-------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Double update because I completely forgot yesterday OTL Blame the annoying af head cold I currently have and all the medication I took for it haha.
> 
> Anyway, Just wanna say thank you to silvadiva for commenting again <3  
> And thank you Honey_Cha for the comment and for helping me fix my noob mistake ^^;
> 
> See you tomorrow~


	5. "Show Me..."

"Your family's nice. You guys are a lot closer than mine." Hakyeon stated as he and Taekwoon stepped into the elevator after dinner, armed with a bottle of some unbelievably expensive bottle of whisky that Taekwoon’s father had given him as a welcoming gift.  
  
"Yeah, well... we value family a lot. We stick together through everything." Taekwoon replied.  
  
Hakyeon smiled sadly, "My parents are kinda... angry people. But, then again, I did get someone pregnant at fourteen, so I guess it makes sense..."  
  
"Does it?"  
  
"I went off on Jaehwan for _wanting_ to have sex. I can't even imagine how I would feel if he fathered a _baby_ at his age..."  
  
"That's just protective instinct." Taekwoon explained, "You know what it's like and you don't want him going through the same thing you did."  
  
"I know, but... I feel like he _is_."  
  
"Is what?"  
  
"He's taking after me in the worst possible ways." Hakyeon stated softly, "But... he has it even worse because of the twins. He's driven by grief and stress while I was driven by love and lust, but... he feels just as _strongly_ as I did back then and a part of me is worried that if he _doesn't_ have sex as a way of coping, then he's gonna do something even more stupid like doing drugs or hurting himself."  
  
"Have you taken him to therapy?" Taekwoon asked and immediately regretted it when the older man looked up and glared at him, "I know... there might be some sort of bad stigma around needing a psychiatrist, but maybe it'll be good for him to have a place to just get everything out without feeling judged or embarrassed. Hongbin too. I don't... know what happened, but I think therapy might help with his panic attacks."  
  
Hakyeon sighed, "Hongbin went for therapy every week for four months and always said he felt worse afterwards. I dunno if we just went to the wrong person, but it didn't help him and I don't assume it's gonna help Jaehwan either."  
  
"Then let him talk to someone he knows. Someone he trusts, like an older friend or a teacher or something." Taekwoon suggested as they reached their floor, "Maybe all he needs is an outlet, but he doesn't know exactly what to do or who to talk to."  
  
"Maybe..." the older replied, stepping out of the elevator and into the hallway before taking a deep breath, "I'll talk to him tomorrow, when we go home. Let him enjoy himself with the other boys tonight."  
  
"You should enjoy yourself too." Taekwoon stated, "We still have to go out, remember?"  
  
"Ah, right." Hakyeon smiled, stopping in front of the small room that they'd gotten for the night, "But can I change first? This suit is fucking uncomfortable..."  
  
"Language, Hakyeon..." the younger muttered, unlocking the door with his key card. Truthfully, he didn't want Hakyeon to change out of that suit. He looked amazing in it and Taekwoon had hoped he could enjoy it fully when they were alone together.  
  
He opened the door and stepped aside for Hakyeon to walk in.  
  
"Wow. Chivalry." The older teased, waking past him, and setting down the bottle of what had to be liquid gold or else the price tag would have made no sense, "I never knew you were such a gentleman, Taekwoon."  
  
"Well, you learn something new every day..." Taekwoon shot back, closing the door behind him.  
  
"Evidently." Hakyeon replied, immediately taking off his coat and tie, then undoing the top two buttons of his shirt before letting out a sigh of relief. "Oh god... I feel so free..."  
  
Taekwoon snorted, loosening his own tie and popping off the first button, "If you're gonna be part of our hotel family, you gotta get used to wearing stuff like this."  
  
"Nowhere in the contract did it mention that I had to dress like a European model." The older stated, stretching, "Unless that was part of the fine print or something."  
  
"It's part of the 'in the event of dating Jung Taekwoon' clause." The other man countered.  
  
Hakyeon laughed, "Oh, I must have missed that part. Probably didn't think it would ever apply to me."  
  
"I'll email it to you, it's very extensive." Taekwoon joked back, flopping down on the bed, no longer caring about messing up his suit.  
  
"So..." Hakyeon started, playing with the bottle of whiskey he’d put on the little side table, "Are you gonna offer me a drink, or do I have to pour my own?"  
  
Taekwoon lifted his head to look at him, "A drink? I thought we were just here so you could change and get comfortable and stop whining like a two year old about the gorgeous, expensive suit I so generously lent you."  
  
"Oh, right..." the older shrugged, "Most people take their date back to their hotel room for one reason only. But I forgot, you're different, mister gentleman. Also… fuck you for that two year old comment."  
  
"You whine more than Sanghyuk does..." Taekwoon shot back, getting to his feet and walking over to the other man, "But, I am _such_ a gentleman that I'll even pour you a drink, despite the extreme levels of sass radiating from you right now."  
  
Before Hakyeon could reply with something sassy and prove his point, Taekwoon had caught up to him and wrapped his arms around the older's waist, pulling him against his body before leaning in and connecting their lips. It was kind of random and out of the blue, but Taekwoon’s kisses usually were.  
  
The kiss was quick but deep and filled with so much sensuality, Hakyeon briefly felt himself go lightheaded. He broke the kiss and leaned back a little to look at the younger, pursing his lips together.  
  
"Tell me... did you ever think about what might happen if we were alone in your room together?" Hakyeon asked.  
  
Taekwoon smiled, "Of course I did. But, like you said, I'm a gentleman."  
  
"And... if you weren't..?" The older continued, fingers playing with the buttons on Taekwoon's shirt, "What would you do to me..?"  
  
"Hakyeon..."  
  
"Humour me."  
  
"Well..." Taekwoon started, pouting in what looked like really deep thought before lifting a hand and placing it on the other man's jaw, gently rubbing over his bottom lip with his thumb, "I'd kiss you first. Not like this innocent 'I'm really into you, but I'm holding back because I don't wanna seem forward' kissing that we've been doing, I'd _really_ kiss you.'  
  
Hakyeon chuckled, "Wow. I didn't realize how juvenile our kisses were."  
  
"You didn't?" The younger mused, "You'll notice the difference if I kiss you properly. I'd kiss you ‘til you're breathless. ‘Til your mind goes blank and all you can think about is me... and the way I make your body react. The heat and the pure _need_."  
  
The last word was pretty much moaned out and the full body shudder that ran through the older man was unintentional and accompanied by a quiet "Fuck..." before he chuckled nervously, "God damn, I never knew you were so eloquent when it came to talking dirty."  
  
"That's not talking dirty. We haven't gotten there yet." Taekwoon replied, "Now be quiet and let me finish. You wanted this."  
  
Hakyeon mock zipped his lips up and threw away the invisible key before looking up hopefully at the other man.  
  
Taekwoon snorted before clearing his throat and continuing, "Anyway... after making sure that I am the only thing on your mind, I'd take it just a little bit further." The hand on Hakyeon's jaw moved lower and Taekwoon used the tip of his finger to lightly draw little patterns on the junction between the older's neck and shoulder, "I'd kiss you here next. Start off soft and teasing, then lick at that spot. Bite it, suck it... Then I'd do the same just above it." His voice dropped in volume and Hakyeon subconsciously braced himself. "I'd mark you so that you'll know you're mine..."  
  
Hakyeon gulped. He had expected something seductive like that, but it still sent a jolt of electricity through his body.  
  
"Every time you look in the mirror and see those bruises, you'll think of me..." the younger continued, "And every time you do... you'll _feel_ me. You'll feel... my lips on your skin, my hands on your body. You'll feel the slow drag of my tongue up the side of your neck and the arousal gradually filling you up until you'll want me all over again." His hand travelled down Hakyeon's body, barely brushing over his clothed torso before going back to join its counterpart around the older man's waist, pulling him even closer. "You'll want that spark you felt. That raw passion that made you weak. You'll want a repeat of everything we did..."  
  
"What... what would we do..?" Hakyeon asked, knowing full well what the younger was implying.  
  
Taekwoon took in a shaky breath and leaned on close to whisper in his ear, "We would do whatever you wanted... I'd be at your mercy. If you wanted to pull my hair, I'd let you. If you wanted to scratch me or leave marks on my skin, I'd let you. If you wanted to choke me, I'd let you... You could do... whatever you want to me... but on one condition..."  
  
"What's that..?"  
  
"I'd be inside you..." his voice had dropped to near silent, but Hakyeon heard him clearly over the sound of his own pounding heart and labored breathing. "We can do it however you want... but I want you leaking my cum by the end of the night..."  
  
Hakyeon had to restrain himself from moaning at just the thought of what Taekwoon was saying as his grip on the younger's shirt tightened until his knuckles went white. The urge to move, to push him away, to do _something_ to get out of this situation before it escalated even further led to Hakyeon attempting to slip out of Taekwoon's hold. He shifted a little then froze when he realized that he was fully erect and Taekwoon was as well and it would be so easy, in the position they were in, to just roll his hips and grind against him until...  
  
His own thoughts caused him to accidentally buck his hips, making Taekwoon gasp out a quiet little "Ah." into his ear and that was it for Hakyeon.  
  
"Show me..." he breathed.  
  
"Show you what?" Taekwoon asked back, hips moving slowly to create just enough teasing friction between them to drive the older man crazy.  
  
Hakyeon nipped at his ear before speaking directly into it, "Show me that you can fulfil all those filthy promises you just made..."  
  
Without missing a beat, Taekwoon grabbed the underside of the other man's chin and pushed his head back, connecting their lips immediately and sighing into the surprisingly sweet kiss. It didn't take long for it to turn dirty as the younger turned his head more and the kiss became less about their lips pressing together and more about desperately exploring each other's mouths and chasing that spark that occurred every time their tongues brushed.  
  
Somewhere in the back of Hakyeon's lust-hazy mind, he realized that this is exactly what Taekwoon said he would do. Kiss him _properly_ and make him think about nothing but _him_. It was definitely working. It was a good start and Hakyeon shuddered at the prospect of the younger man being able to do _everything_ he had promised...  
  
Taekwoon pulled back, slowly dragging his tongue against Hakyeon's until they were panting softly, breaths mingling as they paused an inch apart. A string of saliva connected them and Taekwoon stuck out his tongue to lick it away from the older's mouth before licking over his parted lips then going back to kissing him, even more dominant than before.  
  
Hakyeon couldn't think clearly. Everything about this moment was hot and just... _dirty_.  
  
And he loved it...  
  
The younger latched onto Hakyeon's bottom lip and sucked as he pulled away and then repeated the treatment a couple more times before taking it between his teeth and biting down on it, hard enough to cause a bit of pain that just served to turn Hakyeon on even more.  
  
Pulling back again, Taekwoon moved his hand to the back of the older's head, gripping his hair gently, "Look at me..."  
  
Hakyeon complied and opened his eyes, feeling another jolt run through his body at the way Taekwoon was staring at him like he wanted to devour him. His eyes were dark and hooded and filled with so much lust that Hakyeon would have done anything for him at that point.  
  
Well... _almost_ anything.  
  
Taekwoon used the hand that was not in Hakyeon's hair to pop open a button on the older's shirt and Hakyeon immediately grabbed his wrist to stop him from undoing any more.  
  
"Please, just... leave it on..." He breathed out softly.  
  
The younger didn't question it and just moved his hand down to tug on the other man's belt, pausing for a moment before pulling hard on Hakyeon's hair, causing him to expose his neck with a surprised squeak.  
  
Leaning in again, Taekwoon mouthed over Hakyeon's Adams apple, letting his tongue poke out to lick lightly over the protruding lump, pulling a gasp from him in response. He tilted his head to press feather light kisses at the base of the older's neck and Hakyeon hazily remembered what came next in Taekwoon's sexual itinerary.  
  
As he had promised, Taekwoon placed little teasing kitten licks over the junction between Hakyeon's neck and shoulder, pulling his head to the side a little to give him better access as he did so. The rough, dominant treatment Hakyeon was receiving was not something Taekwoon had mentioned when he was voicing his erotic fantasy. But the way Taekwoon had grabbed his chin and the way he was pulling on his hair... Hakyeon felt so vulnerable...  
  
In the best way imaginable.  
  
"Oh... god..." the older moaned as the other man latched his lips onto his skin and sucked.  
  
Taekwoon did promise to mark him. To make sure he knew who he belonged to...  
  
Pulling off with a soft pop, Taekwoon dragged his teeth over the forming bruise for a few torturous moments while Hakyeon almost whimpered from the teasing before the younger suddenly bit down. Hard.  
  
Hakyeon hissed in pain, but made no move to stop him. There was something so welcome about the pain-pleasure combination and Hakyeon moaned high in his throat as he bucked his hips, trying to relieve some of the pressure of his clothed, straining erection by grinding his lower half against Taekwoon's.  
  
The desperation was evident in both men as Taekwoon grinded back, gasping in between long, soothing licks over his own bite marks on Hakyeon's beautifully bruised skin. His hands dropped to grab Hakyeon's hips and pull him harder against him, allowing the older to finally lean his head forward and bury his nose in Taekwoon's hair.  
  
"Taekwoon, please..." he panted into the younger's ear, "Enough teasing... I... I need..."  
  
The other man didn't have the patience to keep up the slow, frustrating foreplay either and figured he would just have to multitask.  
  
Pushing the older's hips just far enough to get to his belt, Taekwoon quickly undid the buckle, followed by the button and zip on Hakyeon's suit pants before pressing their hips together again. He tilted his head and attacked the other side of Hakyeon's neck, hands dipping just beneath the waistband of the older's underwear. Hakyeon made a soft noise in the back of his throat when the other man rolled his hips roughly, mouth still working on creating the second bruise on the older's neck.  
  
Once he was sufficiently happy that he had marred Hakyeon's skin enough, Taekwoon lifted one of his hands and pressed two fingers against the older's lips, "Suck, Hakyeon..."  
  
Hakyeon shuddered at the sound of his own name spoken in Taekwoon's soft, breathy voice, huskier than usual and dripping with arousal. It made him remember that this was not some hot, dirty wet dream and that Taekwoon, this perfect man with the gorgeous body and beautiful face, really did want _him_ right now.  
  
He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, waiting for the other man to make a move out of a subconscious desire to not have any sort of control or dominance in the situation. Hakyeon was always the one in control. He was always the one who _gave_ and never really _took_. For once, he wanted to just lose control and let someone touch him. Pleasure him.  
  
And he was sure Taekwoon was the only one who could do that for him...  
  
Taekwoon's shoved his fingers into the older's waiting mouth, eyes narrowing as Hakyeon sucked on them, twirling his tongue around the intruding digits and moaning low in his throat. The younger thrust his fingers in and out, enjoying the hot, wet feeling of the other man's mouth around them and unable to stop himself from imagining what it would feel like around another part of his body. Those thoughts made his whole body jerk and he accidentally pushed his fingers in too far, pressing against the back of Hakyeon's tongue and making him gag.  
  
Tears prickled at the corners of the older's eyes as Taekwoon pulled his digits out a little before pressing down on his tongue again and forcing him to open his mouth with a choked gasp. Hakyeon barely had time to breathe when the younger attempted to kiss him again without removing his fingers, only ending up able to twirl their tongues together, coating Taekwoon's fingers with their combined saliva.  
  
Removing his fingers from Hakyeon's mouth, Taekwoon kissed him properly, deep and passionate as he moved his hand lower and down the back of the older's pants. Hakyeon squeaked into the kiss as the other man's wet, spit slicked fingers brushed lightly over his puckered entrance, rubbing around the rim in circular motions and pulling more noises from the older. Taekwoon too became more vocal with every second, sighing deeply and whining high and needy every time their tongues touched or their hips would jerk and accidentally grind against each other.  
  
The tip of Taekwoon's finger breached the tight ring of muscle and Hakyeon tensed up immediately, wound so tight that Taekwoon worried he had stopped breathing. More than it hurting, it was uncomfortable and Hakyeon had a brief moment of clarity where he wondered if this was what he really wanted before Taekwoon's mouth on his and the scent of arousal mixed with Taekwoon's cologne answered that question almost instantly. Yes... this was _all_ he wanted right now.  
  
As quickly as he had put it in, the younger pulled his finger out and went back to pressing lightly over the rim.  
  
Hakyeon broke the kiss and panted harshly, eyes still closed as his body gradually relaxed, "Don't... don't stop..."  
  
"Fuck, Hakyeon, I..." the younger managed, seeming very conflicted, "W-we don't have condoms or lube of any sort..."  
  
"We don't need it..." the other man breathed out hotly against Taekwoon's jaw.  
  
"We do." The younger argued breathlessly, "I... I don't wanna hurt you..."  
  
They paused like that for a moment, minds racing with how they could make this work while also spending as little time as possible not in each other's arms. Taekwoon knew it would be rough for Hakyeon since it was his first time with a man, they would need a lubricant of some sort at least in order for it to be pleasurable for him. Taekwoon had considered using lotion, soap, face cream, even hand sanitiser, but nothing would be a good enough substitute. They would probably work, but it would require a lot of prepping that Taekwoon just did not have the patience for...  
  
Hakyeon groaned in frustration, "Just... you have hair conditioner in this hotel, right?"  
  
"We are _not_ using hair conditioner as lube..." Taekwoon argued.  
  
"You got a better idea?" The older asked as he detached himself from the other man and stepped backwards towards the bed before throwing himself onto it, "Hurry up."  
  
Taekwoon puffed out a breath of air and ducked into the bathroom to grab the little bottle of conditioner while Hakyeon chuckled at how ridiculous it was that two responsible, grown adults were about to resort to using a hair softening product to have sex.  
  
He couldn't dwell on that thought for too long as he kicked off his suit pants and underwear, gasping as his heated, leaking cock met the chill air. Ignoring the random crashing noises coming from the bathroom that was obviously a lust-drunk Taekwoon trying frantically to find the conditioner among the other little bottles of shampoo, body wash and whatever else this fancy hotel supplied, Hakyeon wrapped his hand around his length, watching with a strange sort of fascination as he stroked himself slowly, biting his lip at the pleasure.  
  
Taekwoon, having finally located the makeshift lube but still a little unsure about using it, stepped back into the room just in time to see the older man use his fingertip to collect a bead of pre-cum from the tip of his dick, swiping over the slit and letting go of his bottom lip between his teeth to tilt his head back and moan unabashedly...  
  
"Fuck, Hakyeon..." the younger breathed, eyes taking in the beautiful picture laid out before him. Hakyeon was flushed and panting, eyes hooded and dark as he looked up at Taekwoon, lips parted and a hand tugging at his own cock as he dripped more and more pre-cum on every torturously slow upstroke. There was even something highly erotic about the fact that the older man was still wearing his crisp white dress shirt and nothing else.  
  
It all went straight to Taekwoon's cock and he felt himself get impossibly harder in his pants.  
  
"Stop..." he demanded quietly, voice barely audible.  
  
Hakyeon continued his ministrations on himself and let his eyes close, apparently not hearing the younger man over the sound of his own broken moans and his too loud heartbeat. He wanted Taekwoon more than anything right now, but the way his own hand perfectly choked his dick felt so good and he hadn't been touched in ages and he just couldn't stop...  
  
"Stop it." The younger man repeated, more forcefully this time, making Hakyeon shudder from the return of dominant, in control Taekwoon, "Stop touching yourself and get on your hands and knees."  
  
Hakyeon hesitated, turning onto his side, "Taekwoon, I... I remember you saying we could do this however I wanted... I wanna see you."  
  
"I know I said that, but... It'll be easier for you this way, trust me."  
  
Hakyeon slowly did as he was told and turned over onto his hands and knees, a little disappointed at the less intimate position, but Taekwoon obviously knew what he was talking about, so the older wouldn't argue.  
  
Taekwoon dipped one finger into the bottle of conditioner, followed by another one, then rubbed them together to make sure both his fingers were coated thoroughly. The conditioner _was_ about as slick as lube - Taekwoon was sure to make a mental note of that - but there was still something a little... weird about using it.  
  
The older man felt the bed dip and he automatically tensed up in anticipation. Taekwoon used his clean hand to press lightly on Hakyeon's back, coaxing him to arch more and sending a slight tinge of embarrassment through his body from being in such a lewd position. Before he could get too bashful, one of Taekwoon's slick fingers was circling his entrance, making him involuntarily tense up even more.  
  
Stopping the teasing motions of his finger, he applied pressure over his hole and slowly sunk his fingertip in before pausing.  
  
"Relax..." the younger commanded before adding what Hakyeon had considered to be his catch phrase, "Take a breath..."  
  
Hakyeon did as he was told and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly while trying his best to relax his muscles as much as possible. Taekwoon leaned forward and placed a kiss on the older's lower back as he slid the rest of his finger in until it was fully sheathed in Hakyeon's tight heat and Taekwoon had to bite his lip to suppress the moan threatening to spill out at the idea of putting his cock in that instead of just his fingers.  
  
Taekwoon moved his finger in and out as Hakyeon continued trying his best to stay relaxed despite the strange but somewhat pleasurable pressure inside him. Impatient as fuck, Taekwoon pulled his finger all the way out and pressed two of his digits back into the older man, making him groan in both pleasure and discomfort.  
  
"You alright?" Taekwoon asked, not waiting for him to get adjusted before starting up the slow rhythm of his fingers pumping in and out, spreading his fingers every now and then to scissor him open.  
  
Hakyeon chuckled breathlessly, "I'm good... Feels weird..."  
  
"Just give me a sec..."  
  
The older had no time to wonder what that meant when Taekwoon's fingers were suddenly brushing against a spot inside him that made him jolt and drip more pre-cum from the tip of his painfully hard cock.  
  
Hakyeon squirmed, trying to get more pressure on that spot, "Ngh... Taekwoon, please..."  
  
"Still feel weird?" The younger teased, rubbing the spot harder.  
  
The other man lowered his upper body to lean on his elbows, arching his back further in a silent, instinctive plea for _more_. He shook his head, "Feels good..."  
  
Taekwoon smiled, muttering a soft "Good." as he just moved his fingers at the same, constant pace, sending ripples through the older's body with each incessant press against his prostate. Hakyeon did his best to stay quiet, but couldn't stop the random gasps and startled moans every time the younger would accidently press harder.  
  
Gradually, the 'accidental' harsh jabs to his prostate became more frequent until Taekwoon was abusing that spot mercilessly and Hakyeon just didn't give a fuck about holding back the filthy moans spilling from his lips anymore.  
  
"Ah... Fuck, Taekwoon, _stop_!" Hakyeon suddenly shouted and the younger man froze completely, fear washing over him that he'd done something wrong or, God forbid, he'd hurt him somehow.  
  
"W-What..?" Taekwoon asked nervously to the heavily panting man in front of him, "What happened? What's wrong?"  
  
Hakyeon chuckled through his harsh breathing, "Nothing's wrong, I... I'm gonna cum... if you keep that up..."  
  
"Sounds good to me." The younger replied, pressing his fingers up against the other's sweet spot harshly and causing him to scream.  
  
"Ah! Taekwoon, please! Stop!" Hakyeon begged, trying to get away from the onslaught of pleasure, "I... I-I want you inside me..."  
  
"I am inside you." Taekwoon mused, not letting up his with his ministrations.  
  
Hakyeon opened his mouth to protest again, but everything was just too much and all that came out were broken moans and gasps of Taekwoon's name. He felt his orgasm bubble up inside him and dug his fingers into the pillow above him in an attempt to hold on a little longer, but to no avail.  
  
Taekwoon's fingers felt amazing and this whole experience was something completely new and hot and perfect and Hakyeon was about to snap and it was almost overwhelming because nobody - himself included - had given him an orgasm since...  
  
" _Fuck_!" He shouted in wound up annoyance as Taekwoon pulled his fingers out of his passage completely. He was so close and the other man fucking _knew_ that.  
  
Taekwoon chuckled at the intense response before leaning over and placing a kiss on the exposed skin at the base of older's spine as an apology of sorts, hands caressing his sides lightly, "Sorry, babe." He apologized, skirting over the nickname because it just seemed appropriate in this moment. He moved a hand around to tease the wet, dripping head of the other man's cock, making him jerk in sensitivity, "But I did promise you'd be leaking my cum..."  
  
"Then _fuck_ me..." Hakyeon panted out, glaring at the younger over his shoulder, "You teasing asshole..."  
  
"Whatever you say, Princess." Taekwoon mused and Hakyeon would have punched him if he didn't fucking _want_ him right now. The younger man quickly undid his belt, popped open his pants button and undid his zipper, all with one hand while the other hand still played with the tip of Hakyeon's dick, pulling tremors and little gasps from him.  
  
Removing his hand from the older's heated organ, Taekwoon sat back on his heels and pushed the band of his underwear down just enough for his painfully hard erection to spring free. He made a soft, broken noise in his throat as he wrapped his fingers around his own cock in an instinctive attempt to relive some of the built up pressure. Yes, Hakyeon was the one who had gotten fingered, but Taekwoon was the one who had to listen to the older moan and gasp in that beautiful, melodic voice of his while he had two of his fingers pumping inside that deliciously tight heat that was just so welcoming.  
  
Despite his calm exterior, Taekwoon was pretty sure he would go crazy if he wasn't inside the older man in the next minute...  
  
He grabbed the little bottle of conditioner, innocently discarded off to the side, and unscrewed the cap. Holding his hand out, he dumped all the remaining conditioner into his palm. There was a lot, but they would need it...  
  
Taekwoon hissed as he rubbed the cold liquid over his flushed, hot member, making sure to coat it fully and as quickly as he could. The older man turned to look at Taekwoon, pausing for a moment before reaching back and smacking the other's hand away, replacing it with his own and stroking slowly. Taekwoon bit his bottom lip to stop himself from letting out any potentially embarrassing sounds. He knew he wouldn't care in a few moments, but right now, while they had some down time in their passion, he figured Hakyeon might just be clear-headed enough to actually poke fun at him for something so stupid.  
  
It took every ounce of Taekwoon's effort and self-control to grab Hakyeon's wrist and get him to stop stroking him before making him let go altogether. Then something clicked again and Taekwoon shoved the older man back into his previous face down, ass up position. He lined himself up with Hakyeon's quivering hole before draping himself over the older's back and using his conditioner covered hand to, fittingly, grab a handful of his hair and turn his head to the side.  
  
Even with the odd angle, Taekwoon managed to get close enough to kiss the older man as he slowly moved his hips forward, finally slipping his painfully hard cock into the other's tight passage. Hakyeon bit down on Taekwoon's lip as the pain from the stretch got worse the deeper the younger went. Taekwoon wasn't sure if that bite was done on purpose as a way to make him feel some pain too or if it was just a subconscious instinct to grit his teeth to deal with the discomfort. Either way, as he buried himself right to the base of his erection, Taekwoon somehow felt like he deserved it...  
  
Releasing the younger's lip from between his teeth before he drew blood, Hakyeon buried his face in the pillow, breathing heavily. He knew it would hurt, but he had been so drunk with pleasure when Taekwoon was fingering him that he didn't even think about the fact that he had only put two fingers inside and, thinking back to when he had stroked the younger's dick, he was definitely bigger than two fingers.  
  
Taekwoon paused when he was fully sheathed, trying his hardest to resist the urge to just throw caution to the wind and _fuck_ the man underneath him, in favour of letting him get somewhat adjusted first. Taekwoon had to remind himself that Hakyeon was technically a virgin…  
  
He placed feather light kisses on the older's neck and the little bits of skin peeking out from underneath his dress shirt, "You ok?"  
  
"No. I'm not ok." Hakyeon groaned out, "You didn't tell me it would hurt so much."  
  
"Sorry..." Taekwoon apologized, nipping at the nape of Hakyeon's neck in an attempt to take his mind off the pain, "It'll get better, I promise."  
  
Hakyeon snorted weakly, "Just take a breath?"  
  
"Just take a breath." Taekwoon echoed, making Hakyeon chuckle. The younger took advantage of the momentary distraction and started slipping his dick out of the other man, making him tense up immediately. "Hakyeon... Relax..."  
  
"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one being split in half." The older complained through gritted teeth.  
  
Taekwoon pouted, easing out until just the head of his cock was inside, "I can't believe you're still sassing me when we're physically connected by my dick..."  
  
Hakyeon laughed breathlessly, "Would you really have it any other way?"  
  
"Yes." The younger replied, snapping his hips forward harshly and pulling a loud, choked moan from the other man, "I'd rather have you screaming my name, if you don't mind."  
  
Hakyeon opened his mouth to say something in response, but all that came out was another filthy moan as Taekwoon pulled out and slammed back in again, sighing in pleasure. It probably still hurt, Taekwoon knew that, so he just decided he'd have to up his game.  
  
He pulled out a little and paused like that, reaching over to take hold of Hakyeon's cock, gone down to being only semi-erect - from the pain, Taekwoon guessed. He stroked slowly, bringing the older's dick back to attention while he let out soft, sweet, beautiful moans at the feeling of Taekwoon touching him until he was, once again, fully hard and aching.  
  
Hakyeon groaned out a pleasured "Fuck..." and Taekwoon took that as his cue. Hand still stroking the older man, he angled his hips perfectly, basing it on the spot his fingers had previously abused, and snapped his hips again, mentally congratulating himself when the older man suddenly went completely silent, back arched and head thrown back while his mouth opened in a silent moan.  
  
"Good?" The younger asked, still teasing despite the fact that he knew neither of them were going to last very long. Hakyeon was obviously very high strung at the moment and the older man turned Taekwoon on more than anybody had in his entire life. He was barely inside Hakyeon for a minute and he was already embarrassingly close to cumming.  
  
Of course, the reason they were feeling like inexperienced teenagers might have also had something to do with the fact that neither had sex in a good while.  
  
"Sh... Shut up and fuck me..." Hakyeon replied, moving his hips back to coax Taekwoon to keep going.  
  
The younger chuckled, straightening his back and not wasting any more time before he started snapping his hips fast and hard. Teasing Hakyeon had been fun, but Taekwoon needed this just as much as he did.  
  
Hakyeon moaned with every hard stab against his prostate, mind going blank and the only thing important being Taekwoon and the way his cock felt inside him. The younger draped himself over his back again and attacked his neck, nibbling on it in between pleasured grunts and moans of "Hakyeon" and "Fuck".  
  
The hand that Taekwoon had on the older's cock moved to wrap around the base, squeezing hard to stave off his orgasm and Hakyeon would have cried in frustration if he had just a _little_ less pride.  
  
"Taekwoon, please! Please..." the older begged, feeling like he would go crazy if he didn't get to cum soon.  
  
If Taekwoon wasn't so desperate himself, he would have cheekily asked him what he wanted or teased him some more, but all he could do now was barely lift his head up to speak directly into Hakyeon's ear, "Hold on, babe... Just..."  
  
"Cum... please..." Hakyeon gasped out and Taekwoon wasn't sure if he was telling _him_ to cum or just pleading to _let_ him cum. Not that it mattered. Either one wouldn't be too hard at this point. "Please... I n... I need..."  
  
Taekwoon pushed down on the other man's back until he was lying flat down on the bed with the younger lying on top of him, loosening his grip on Hakyeon’s cock in the process. He bit on the older's ear, making him moan loudly and Taekwoon took that as his cue. He slammed into him harder than before as he lost rhythm with his hips and fucked into the older's sweet spot without mercy, feeling the tell-tale heat in his lower belly reach boiling point.  
  
It was almost too much as the assault of pleasure made Hakyeon scream, cumming hard onto the bed and his own shirt with Taekwoon following close behind and spilling hotly into the older's body with a choked moan. Taekwoon's hips jerked with every spurt of cum that he filled the older man up with, pressing the head of his cock against Hakyeon's prostate every time, milking his own orgasm as much as possible and making him gasp every time.  
  
Taekwoon suddenly lost all his energy and flopped down on top of Hakyeon, making the older laugh through his heavy panting. "Oh my God..." Hakyeon breathed out.  
  
"Mmm..." was the only reply the younger man could give, nuzzling his cheek against Hakyeon's shirt.  
  
They paused, breathing hard and coming down from their mutual highs in silence. Hakyeon reached a shaky hand back and threaded his fingers through the younger's hair, stroking softly as Taekwoon moved up a little to make the angle a little less awkward, accidentally shifting his softening length, still inside the older man, and causing them both to gasp quietly. He buried his nose in Hakyeon's neck, placing soft kisses on his skin every now and then.  
  
Hakyeon smiled. Yes, he enjoyed being manhandled by Taekwoon before, but this soft, gentle aftercare was very welcome. He felt more relaxed than he had been in a long time and kept his eyes closed, just enjoying the feeling of Taekwoon still being on top of him and inside him. He could fall asleep happy right now...  
  
"Is this a bad time to say I love you..?"  
  
Hakyeon's eyes shot open. The question had been mumbled out and Hakyeon was only half sure he'd actually heard it in his hazy, sleepy state.  
  
"W-What?" He squeaked, feeling his heart pound in his chest.  
  
"I love you." Taekwoon repeated, sounding completely wrecked and incredibly tired.  
  
Hakyeon's mind raced as his heart pounded harder and he felt himself start to panic. There was a chance that Taekwoon wasn't fully aware of what he was saying, due to the exhaustion and his orgasmic high. There was a chance that he couldn't separate love and sexual attraction, as was the case for a lot of people, and thought that the fact that he wanted Hakyeon meant that he loved him.  
  
There was also the chance that he really was in love with him...  
  
Hakyeon suddenly felt like he was about to throw up from nerves and used every bit of energy he could muster to push himself up, making the younger man on top of him tumble off him with a squeak, barely managing to keep himself from falling off the bed.  
  
He got to his feet and stumbled his way over to the bathroom, ignoring Taekwoon's voice asking him what was wrong and if he was ok. Hakyeon slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it before immediately falling to the floor, leaning his head against the door and feeling like he was hyperventilating.  
  
What the fuck had he just done?  
  
He did the very thing he had constantly warned Jaehwan about; he let attraction and lust cloud his mind. Not only did he have sex with someone he was not even dating, they also didn't use any protection. They couldn't stop for the ten minutes it would take them to go to the pharmacy down stairs, buy a box of condoms and get back to the room.  
  
Lust was powerful. And Hakyeon felt horrible...  
  
A knock on the door startled him and it took him a moment to realize that Taekwoon was talking to him through the door separating them. "What's wrong?" The younger asked quietly, voice shaky and nervous, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Please open the door."  
  
In a way, Hakyeon felt bad for making the younger man feel guilty, like he was responsible for this. But at the same time, he needed someone to blame otherwise it would all fall on him again and he hated himself enough already.  
  
Not bothering to respond, he stood up on shaky legs and managed to walk to the sink, leaning on it as he stared at himself in the mirror. He hadn't realized he was crying, but the man looking back at him was and he wracked his racing mind to try and find the reason why.  
  
Was it just purely guilt from hypocritically going against everything he had told his son about sex and responsibility?  
  
No...  
  
He tore his eyes away from his messed up form to look down at his left hand, feeling like he had just been stabbed in the heart when his gaze landed on the gold band around his finger.  
  
It had barely been a year... Barely a year since the woman he had loved from the time he was thirteen was killed because of his own stupidity. His own short temper and tendency to take out his frustrations on everybody else.  
  
Barely a year...  
  
A couple of weeks earlier, he was falling apart, mourning the one year anniversary of her death. A few months before that, he had taken the day off work and spent the entire time that the kids were at school locked up in his room, trying to understand why any of this was happening and why he was spending his eleventh wedding anniversary without his wife.  
  
He still loved her. Still missed her. He hadn't given himself enough time to mourn and deal with her death and accept the fact that she was gone.  
  
He should have spoken to someone and healed himself slowly. He should have come to terms with it and not downplayed it by pretending that everything was ok. That _he_ was ok.  
  
But he didn't. Instead he had focused on his broken twins and shouted at Jaehwan and slept with a man who came into his life completely out of the blue.  
  
He suddenly became aware of Taekwoon's semen running down his inner thighs and laughed humourlessly in fucked up amusement that they really had ended the night with him 'leaking Taekwoon's cum'.  
  
It wasn't even the fact that he had sex with Taekwoon that fucked him up. It wasn't even the fact that, for the first time in his life, he had sex with someone other than his wife that fucked him up. It was Taekwoon telling him that he loved him. It was the realization that his relationship with Taekwoon wasn't just a game anymore. He wasn't just someone who Hakyeon could run to to vent or help him take his mind off life anymore.  
  
Taekwoon was serious about them. Taekwoon was _in love_ with him. And that was terrifying.  
  
Wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt, he took a step to the side and grabbed a hand towel off the rack. Wetting it in the sink and putting some soap on one side, he shakily got to cleaning himself up, wincing at the tenderness of his abused hole.  
  
He felt guilty.  
  
He had moved on from his wife's tragic death far too quickly. He had left his children in a hotel room while he had sex with a man they didn't even know Hakyeon was interested in. And, on top of all that, while Taekwoon obviously thought they were making love in some way, Hakyeon was driven purely by lust. Not that he didn't have legitimate feelings for Taekwoon, he obviously felt something for him.  
  
But letting the younger man fuck him into the bed had _nothing_ to do with emotions...  
  
Cleaned up as best he could, Hakyeon once again stared at himself in the mirror. He knew that he would be forced to talk to Taekwoon when he left this bathroom and felt his heart drop at the thought.  
  
What would he say to him? What _could_ he say? 'Sorry'? 'We can't be together'? 'I don't feel the way you do'? What could he possibly say that would excuse... _everything_?  
  
Feeling like he was on the verge of crying again, he splashed some cold water on his face before taking a deep breath. He didn't know how he would make everything right, but he knew he couldn't do it right now, not while he felt like his whole world was imploding.  
  
Silently unlocking the door, he opened it slowly, automatically searching for Taekwoon and quickly spotting him sitting at the foot of the bed, fully clothed and with his head in his hands. He also seemed to have cleaned up a little; the sheets had been replaced and, other than the bunched up linen in the corner of the room, any trace of their encounter had been wiped out as if it never happened.  
  
The younger looked up, tired eyes landing on Hakyeon and making him tense up. "What happened..?" He asked again, voice weak and quiet.  
  
Hakyeon felt his breathing pick up and he knew he had to get out of there before he broke down completely. With a quick "Sorry", he grabbed the pants he was previously wearing, folded and placed on a nearby chair, and slipped them on as quickly as he could, still buttoning them up as he walked to the room door and opened it.  
  
"Hakyeon, wait." Taekwoon called and the older froze, heart feeling like it was beating at a hundred kilometers a second. He didn't dare turn back to look at the other man who sighed softly, "I...need to go fetch my son..."  
  
Hakyeon would have laughed if he didn't feel like crying. Of course Taekwoon would worry about his child first, that's what good parents did...  
  
"I'll... tell him to come here." The older replied.  
  
"Please don't send him by himself." Taekwoon pleaded, "It's late."  
  
"I'll ask Jaehwan to bring him."  
  
Silence fell for a few heart pounding moments before Taekwoon finally muttered a soft "Thank you." before lying back on his bed with his hands over his face and Hakyeon figured that was as good a time as ever to leave.  
  
He stepped out into the hallway, closed the door behind him and quickly made his way to the suite a few rooms down. Hakyeon paused at the door, taking in a deep breath. He needed to do this as casually as he possibly could, his kids could _not_ see him fall apart, especially Hongbin, it might scare him into another panic attack.  
  
Letting out the breath slowly, he steeled himself and used the key card that was still in his pocket to unlock the door before opening it and taking a step inside.  
  
And he froze.  
  
Jaehwan stood on the opposite side of the room, looking at him from behind the counter island separating the living area from the open plan kitchen. Sanghyuk sat on the counter near him and it seemed as if they were in the middle of making some sort of snack, but Hakyeon couldn't bring himself to care too much because his son was staring at him in shock.  
  
Hakyeon closed the door and cleared his throat, "J-Jae--"  
  
"What the fuck..?" The teen breathed out, eyes raking over his father's clearly messed up form. His untucked shirt, wet with both water and sweat. His messy hair that he had been far too frantic to notice. His red eyes and the way he trembled slightly…  
  
"Jaehwan, please..." Hakyeon scolded, having no strength or will to be more firm, "Please don't curse."  
  
"What did you do?" Jaehwan demanded, frown deepening before something clicked and he laughed, "Wow! Wow. Really?"  
  
"Jaehwa--"  
  
"You don't even have the decency to _try_ and cover up the bruises on your neck." The teen spat, voice dripping with venom, "Did you at least use a condom like a so called 'responsible adult'?"  
  
"Jaehwan, please. Not in front of Sanghyuk."  
  
"Sanghyuk should learn how much of a hypocrite you are." He stated, petting the confused child's hair, "Was it 'circumstance'? Were you 'blinded by lust'?"  
  
"Please just... Take Sanghyuk to his father. Please." Hakyeon pleaded, running his hands over his face as he felt the urge to cry bubble up in him again.  
  
Jaehwan tsk'ed, "Did you cum inside her?"  
  
"Jaehwan!"  
  
"Did you even get her last name before you fucked her? Did you?"  
  
Hakyeon pressed his palms over his eyes, feeling that urge get infinitely stronger. Jaehwan thought he had slept with a woman. The fact that Taekwoon was at the point of saying that he loved him while Hakyeon's own child didn't even _know_ there was something between them...  
  
He really felt like the worst father... No... the worst _person_ ever...  
  
"I-I... I'm going to bed..." he announced, walking in the direction of one of the bedrooms before the two kids could see him cry, "Please take Sanghyuk back to T... Taekwoon's room..."  
  
Jaehwan sighed and muttered a quiet, angry "Fucking hypocrite..." before picking up the slightly scared looking four year old on the counter and carrying him on his hip, "C'mon, Hyuk. We'll just have to make our makeshift smores some other time."  
  
Hakyeon closed the bedroom door behind him and leaned on it, still hearing the two talk as they started walking out. "You should come over to my house one day, Hyung." Sanghyuk suggested to his older friend, "Appa just bought a huge 3D TV and it's _awesome_. You can teach me how to make your smores and we can watch 3D movies with Wonshik Hyung and Hongbin Hyung."  
  
Jaehwan chuckled, obviously trying his hardest to sound happy and that sent a stab of pain into Hakyeon's heart, "Sounds good, kid..."  
  
The door clicked closed behind them and Hakyeon finally cracked, letting his tears cascade freely down his face as he took off his shirt because it smelled like Taekwoon and, as much as he had tried to use water and hand soap on it, there were still drops of his cum on it and everything was just too much.  
  
Flinging the shirt to the other side of the room, he crawled into bed, hoping to just go to sleep and, when he woke up, everything would be better somehow...  
  
\------


	6. "Look... Look At Me..."

The next few weeks were difficult, to say the least.  
  
Jaehwan barely looked at Hakyeon and every time the teen went out, Hakyeon's nerves were shot, always wondering where he was, what he was doing, if he would even come home or if this would be the time he fucks up and ends up doing something stupid. Despite being his father, Hakyeon didn't feel like he had the right to discipline him. Not after he had done the very thing he constantly told him not to.  
  
He hadn't seen Taekwoon since that night at the hotel. They hadn't spoken at all but, apart from the times when Jaehwan would go missing, Taekwoon was the only thing on Hakyeon's mind. And the more he thought about him and about that night, the worse he felt.  
  
He also hated that he had been showing little to no interest in the twins and their lives. Taekwoon occupied fifty percent of his thoughts and Jaehwan occupied the other fifty. It was unfair on them, especially when Hongbin would - again - come home with bruises that Wonshik would be quite obviously distressed about. They did have each other, at least. They leaned on each other through everything and had that bond that twins did, but Hakyeon was their _father_. He should have been able to make time for them.  
  
And the fact that he couldn't made him feel even worse.  
  
Despite all of his issues with Jaehwan and despite the war going on inside his head, Hakyeon had managed to get to a point where he felt some sort of normalcy. He still worked at his old job as he was required to for thirty days. He would take the kids to school in the morning, trying his hardest to talk to Jaehwan and failing miserably every time. He would go to work, go home, make dinner, help the twins with their homework- even though his mind was never really in the present moment and homework was _literally_ the only thing he did with them - and then go to bed and repeat the whole process over again the next day.  
  
Until Sanghyuk came home with the twins one day.  
  
It was less than a week until Hakyeon would start his new job as a regional manager and he had gotten home to an extra little pair of shoes in the entrance and an extra coat on the hanger. Assuming that Wonshik and Hongbin had brought a friend home, he peeked into their room and froze when he spotted Sanghyuk who greeted him with an enthusiastic wave and a "Hi, Uncle Hakyeon."  
  
He had greeted him back and the twins explained that Taekwoon had some sort of event that he needed to attend at the hotel that night and wanted to hire a babysitter to look after Sanghyuk, but the four year old had convinced him to let him hang out with Wonshik and Hongbin for the first time in almost a month instead.  
  
Hakyeon almost scolded them for not asking his permission first, but instead he just smiled and asked them if they wanted something to drink.  
  
Sanghyuk being there wasn't a problem. Hakyeon adored the child and had no issues with him spending the day with them.  
  
He did have an issue with the fact that his father was obviously going to pick him up.  
  
He really was not ready to see him again. He didn't think he ever _would_ be. But, in his struggle to be a good parent, he would grit his teeth and smile his way through the whole encounter because the twins liked Sanghyuk and Sanghyuk liked the twins and they shouldn't be kept apart because their fathers couldn’t control themselves around each other for one night.  
  
However... when one a.m rolled around and Sanghyuk was still at Hakyeon's place - fast asleep on the twins' bean bag - he had to wonder whether Taekwoon really _was_ a better father than him.  
  
The sound of a car pulling up at his house made his heart race. He wasn't ready. But it was now or never.  
  
There was a knock on the door but he didn't answer it yet, not wanting to seem like he was waiting for him, even though it would have made perfect sense that he was.  
  
When the second knock came, he decided, with a deep breath, that it had been long enough and he should open the door. He clicked it open slowly and felt his heart flip at the sight of the man on the other side, leaning against the wall next to the door.  
  
"Hi." Taekwoon greeted, wearing a sweet, almost too casual smile.   
  
Hakyeon nodded in greeting, before pointing over his shoulder at nothing, "I'll go get Sanghyuk, he's... asleep..." he trailed off, frowning as he took in the younger man's sleepy eyes and red cheeks. "Taekwoon, have you been drinking?"  
  
"Just a little." The younger replied, "I'm good though."  
  
"You drove here from the hotel drunk." Hakyeon stated, as if he was trying to explain it to himself, "And you plan to drive back to your place drunk as well, with your _child_ in the car..?"  
  
"I'm not drunk, I didn’t drink that much. I can still think straight, I can still see straight... I'm just a little... buzzed, that's all." Taekwoon defended and Hakyeon felt the urge to punch him.  
  
"You are _not_ putting Sanghyuk's life in danger like that." The older scolded. He sighed in annoyance and stepped aside to let the younger into the kitchen, "Come on."  
  
Taekwoon raised a confused eyebrow but walked inside anyway, making Hakyeon wrinkle his nose as he walked past. Taekwoon smelled... odd. Not like alcohol as Hakyeon assumed he would, but just… odd.  
  
"New cologne?" He asked.  
  
Taekwoon scoffed and sat down at the kitchen table, "Yeah. It's called 'some random girl at the party couldn't take a hint and spent the entire night rubbing up against me so now I smell like her'. Do you like it?"  
  
"I hate it." The older replied, closing the door and going to boil some water for coffee.  
  
"So do I." Taekwoon muttered, "But I guess sometimes people pick up the wrong signals from someone."  
  
Hakyeon blinked. Was he referring to the girl from the party or was he referring to _him_? "Sometimes... people think that everything’s just a bit of fun but end up being completely wrong."  
  
"Sometimes people get hurt from others assuming things." Taekwoon added.  
  
The older fidgeted, "Sometimes people just aren't ready..."  
  
"Sometimes people fall in love."  
  
"Taekwoon, I--"  
  
"No... I get it. I know I fucked up." The younger man interrupted, "It was way too soon. We weren't together, there was no reason for me to think there was even anything between us. I guess... between us making love and me being a little love starved in general, I just--"  
  
"We didn't make love." Hakyeon cut in, "You fucked me into a fancy hotel bed..."  
  
The younger went silent for a moment, standing up and moving to the living room with a quiet "Right..." before flopping down on the couch.  
  
Hakyeon sighed, coffee completely forgotten as he ran his hands over his face. With a burst of courage - or stupidity, for that matter - he followed after the other man and paused near the couch for a moment before kneeling on it and placing a soft kiss on the corner of Taekwoon's lips. It lasted no longer than two seconds and there was barely any contact, but Hakyeon suddenly felt his heart jump in that way that only happened when he was with Taekwoon.  
  
"Listen..." he started, eyes trained on the couch cushions, "It's not that I don't feel anything for you. You know I do. It's just... there's so much about me that you still don't know…"  
  
"Then tell me." Taekwoon pleaded, "I want you to tell me everything. I want you to trust me enough to do that."  
  
"I do trust you, I..." Hakyeon paused then stood up, stepping around to stand in front of the younger man with a deep breath, "Look... look at me..." He took hold of the bottom of his shirt by hesitated to do anything.  
  
"What are you doing?" The other man asked quietly.  
  
"Look at me..." he repeated, taking another breath and slowly lifting his shirt over his head, exposing his upper body and Taekwoon's eyes widened at what he was seeing.  
  
Scars. His entire front was littered with them. Dents, bumps and discoloured skin... Taekwoon felt himself start to choke up because those were not birth defects or anything like that, those were the left over marks of dozens of healed wounds.  
  
Taekwoon gulped, suddenly understanding why Hakyeon had opted to keep his shirt on back when they slept together. "What... what happened..?"  
  
The older trailed his hands over his marred skin, sadness and pain evident in his eyes. He couldn't do this. He didn't want to.  
  
But he had already come this far…   
  
"Um... The... the day my wife died... we, uh..." he paused, closing his eyes to try and collect himself before continuing, "We went out for dinner. All five of us. But we... she and I were fighting over something stupid that day, something about me reconciling with my parents and I... I was an idiot. I got so angry and decided that I couldn't get through the evening without a few drinks. When we went home... she refused to let me drive and she drove instead..." he chuckled sadly, looking down at himself, "If I had been the one driving... maybe… she'd have all these scars but she’d be... breathing..."  
  
"Hakyeon..." the younger breathed out, feeling his heart leap into his throat at the thought of what life would be like without him.  
  
The other man took another deep breath and continued, "But, um... The… alcohol just made things worse. We argued more on the way back home and she… she was so upset that she… started paying less and less attention to the road and more on me… She lost control of the car and we... we spun out and hit the concrete barrier on her side... I... I didn't see her, but I saw the car afterwards and... the entire driver's side was smashed in. There's no way anyone could have survived that. It… it would have easily crushed a person…”  
  
"Did you... did _you_ get hurt from the impact too?" Taekwoon asked cautiously, moving away from talking about his wife because he still had no idea how to address that.  
  
Hakyeon shook his head, "Well, I mean... yeah... I... broke one leg and fractured the other one. But this..." he gestured to the scars, "This didn't happen _in_ the car..."  
  
The younger wanted to just remain quiet and wait for him to continue, but Hakyeon had gone silent and looked like he was reliving those painful memories and Taekwoon felt like he needed to take control before he drowned in them. "How did it happen, Hakyeon?"  
  
"Wonshik... he was sitting... in the middle, in the back seat." The older explained, voice shaky, "He wasn't wearing his seat belt and... w-when... we hit the barrier, he... he got thrown out through the windshield..."  
  
Taekwoon's eyes widened as his heart sank, "Oh my God..."  
  
"He was extremely lucky that he hit the hood of the car first before hitting the road... he still landed hard and his... the side of his face dragged against the road and it... destroyed his face. But still... if he had hit the tar straight on, he would not have survived..." Hakyeon stated, "But I panicked. I... my door wouldn't open, so, uh... my window broke at some point, so I pushed myself out through it once the car came to a stop. I couldn't actually walk though, so... I crawled... on my belly. All the glass and metal and whatever else was on the ground cut so much of my skin, but I didn't care. I barely _noticed_. All I could focus on was Wonshik and... I couldn't see his face... all I could see was the back of his head and the pool of blood..." his breath hitched as he finally gave in and let his tears flow down his face, "I-I... I needed to get to him, that was the only thing running through my mind. I probably would have bled to death or punctured an organ if it hadn't been for Jaehwan."  
  
"Jaehwan?"  
  
Hakyeon nodded, "Jaehwan was at Wonshik's side almost immediately. Making sure he was ok... He... called the police and the ambulance and screamed at me to stop moving until they got there..." he chuckled through his tears, "Jaehwan is... such a level headed person in tough situations... He pulled Wonshik up and used his hoodie to try and stop the bleeding... He... he was trying to tell me what was happening, but I couldn't hear him over the adrenaline in my body and... Hongbin... screaming..."  
  
He placed his hand over his eyes as his sobbing got worse. Taekwoon wanted to help him. He wanted to hug him and comfort him. But he knew that sometimes the best way to get through something is to go straight through the middle. Still... he couldn't deny the feeling of his blood running cold at Hakyeon's words. "What... Hakyeon... Where was Hongbin through all this?"  
  
"Hongbin... Hongbin and Jaehwan didn't really get hurt, so they took it upon themselves to make sure everyone else was ok. Jaehwan came to me and Wonshik..." Hakyeon explained through his tears, "Hongbin... went to check on his mother..."  
  
Taekwoon was sure he just felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.   
  
"No one should have to see something like that... Let alone a nine year old child..." Hakyeon muttered, "That's why he... that's why he panics. The... psychiatrist said it was PTSD..."  
  
"That's horrible..." Taekwoon spoke, barely able to keep his own tears at bay.  
  
"I must have passed out at some point after that... When I woke up, both my legs were in casts, so I couldn't walk and... the nurses wouldn't tell me anything. They wouldn't tell me where my kids were or what happened to my wife or if... my beautiful child broke his skull or had any brain damage or if he was even still alive." The older continued, "It was the worst few days of my life..."  
  
" _Days_?" Taekwoon asked in shock, "They kept you in the dark for _days_?"  
  
"I heard... afterwards that... her parents were looking after the kids and they... requested that the hospital didn't tell me anything yet." He stated, "Because Wonshik still hadn’t woken up and they didn't know if there was any internal damage to his brain. Which, luckily, there wasn't. And... Hongbin wouldn't stop crying and... obviously... she..." Hakyeon wiped at his eyes futilely, trying his hardest to smile as he shrugged, "Well... now you know a bit more about me..."  
  
"Hakyeon..." Taekwoon stretched his hand out, "Come here."  
  
Hakyeon slowly walked over to him and kneeled on either side of his hips on the couch. The younger probably hadn't meant for him to go there to straddle him, but Hakyeon just wanted to be in his arms and that was the best way that came to mind.  
  
Taekwoon pulled him in and held him as best he could in that position. He didn't know what to say to him. He hadn't been through anything _remotely_ similar nor on the same level as Hakyeon had, there was no way he could relate. But he could be there.  
  
He could love him until he learned to love himself again.  
  
"Hey..." he whispered, "I know it must be hard losing the love of your life... But you still have three beautiful kids. They're still here. And they love you."  
  
"Jaehwan can't stand to look at me..." Hakyeon muttered weakly in response. “And I know it’s my fault. I was so focused on the twins after the accident that I didn’t spend nearly enough time with him. He… grieved in silence. Alone.”  
  
"I don’t think that’s all it is." The younger deduced, "He grieved in silence, sure, and that had to have left its own scars, but I think… you put too much pressure on him... I'm not a psychiatrist, but I think the two of you need to talk. About everything. He's just a kid, Hakyeon, he shouldn't be the twins' second father..."  
  
"I know... But I feel like I would go crazy without him."  
  
"You need to let him be a kid. And... just because _he_ shouldn't help carry your burden, doesn't mean _nobody_ should. Talk to someone. If you don't want to rely on me, then talk to a therapist or someone you trust."  
  
"I trust you..." the older croaked out.  
  
Taekwoon took a deep breath, "Good. Then talk to me. Rant to me, vent to me, just get everything off your chest, don't keep bottling it up because one day you'll burst and it will be worse than this. I... I love you... and I promise I'll drop anything and everything if you need me."  
  
Hakyeon managed a smile and pulled back to look at the other man, "You know... just the fact that you listened to me right now... I... I'm grateful. It’s… a relief, in a way, to get everything off my chest." He wiped the remainder of his tears away, "I feel absolutely horrible, like I just ripped open every one of these scars, but... It's weird... It's like... for the first time, I... feel like it's ok that I feel that way..."  
  
"It is ok." Taekwoon confirmed, "Lying to yourself by telling yourself that you're totally fine will just make things worse. Vent, cry, scream, throw things... do all those things and just... let go of those feelings. Slowly."  
  
The older nodded, "I will... Thank you for listening..."  
  
"Well, you are holding my son hostage." The other man joked and Hakyeon actually chuckled.  
  
"Right. You should take him home."  
  
"We could stay." Taekwoon suggested unsurely, "I mean... if you have anything else you wanna get off your chest or... if you just wanna punch me as a form of... violent therapy or something. I did tell you I loved you and then made you rip open all those old wounds, I think I deserve a couple of punches."   
  
Hakyeon laughed more, not saying anything and instead just looking into the younger's eyes before he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. They kissed softly, nothing behind it but pure affection with Hakyeon muttering quiet words of thanks between kisses.  
  
It's not that he suddenly felt better. Honestly, he felt like shit, worse than he had in a long time.  
  
The difference this time was that Taekwoon was there to piece him back together, now and any time he fell apart in the future, which he knew he definitely would. Taekwoon would be there to catch him. Taekwoon would be there to just hold him and let him cry without any judgement.  
  
He _knew_ Taekwoon would be there.  
  
And it was an amazing feeling.  
  
"Dad..?"  
  
Hakyeon pulled away from Taekwoon instantly, heart jumping into his throat as he turned to look at the source of the familiar voice.  
  
Hongbin, standing just a couple of steps into the lounge, tensed up when he saw Hakyeon panic and looked around nervously, "S-sorry, I'll go..."  
  
"No, Kongie, wait." Hakyeon called after his son, moving off of Taekwoon's lap to sit next to him instead, "Come here."  
  
The child paused for a second, eyes fixated on the multiple scars on his father's torso that he obviously didn’t know about either, before he complied and walked over to him, still looking rather nervous.  
  
Hakyeon patted his lap and Hongbin hopped up onto him, "Kong, I have a serious question to ask you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"How would you feel... if I dated someone?" He asked, playing with the child's hair.  
  
"Is it Taekwoon?" Hongbin asked curiously, looking up at his father with big, sparkly eyes.  
  
Hakyeon chuckled, "Wow, you don't miss a thing, do you? But yes, how would you feel if I dated Taekwoon?"  
  
"I don't mind." The ten year old replied calmly, turning his eyes to the man they were talking about.   
  
"You don't mind if he's here a lot or if I go out with him often?" Hakyeon asked.  
  
"No, I don't mind." Hongbin replied, smiling coyly at Taekwoon, "As long as Sanghyuk can come with you every time."  
  
Taekwoon chuckled, "Well, maybe not _every_ time, but I promise to bring him over often."  
  
"Then cool." The child stated before looking up at his father, "I'm thirsty. Can I go get some water?"  
  
"Oh, right. Of course." Hakyeon replied, letting his son hop off his lap and run off to the kitchen.  
  
Hongbin downed his glass of water and walked out of the kitchen on his way back to his bedroom. He waved as he got to the living room, "Goodnight, dad. Goodnight Taekwoon."  
  
"Night." His father replied, "Kong, are Wonshik and Jaehwan awake?"  
  
The ten year old shook his head, "Wonshik's asleep and Jaehwan Hyung is in his room."  
  
"Ok. Sweet dreams." Hakyeon called as Hongbin scampered back to his room.  
  
"You think he's gonna tell them?" Taekwoon asked as soon as he was out of sight.  
  
"That's why I asked if they were awake." Hakyeon replied with a smile, "He'll tell Wonshik for sure when he wakes up. But I don't think we have to worry too much about that, he likes you. Now... Jaehwan..."  
  
Taekwoon pursed his lips, "How about... I talk to Jaehwan?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"You should bring them over to my place tomorrow." The younger suggested, "The twins wanted to watch a 3D movie anyway and I can talk to Jaehwan at the same time. I know we said you and him should talk, but... I feel like you guys will need a mediator when you do. Maybe I should try to soften him up a little first."  
  
"Oh, we definitely will." Hakyeon sighed, "But yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'll run it by them in the morning. But, for now..." he stood up and folded his arms across his chest, "Are you staying over?"  
  
"Do you want me to?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Then yes. I am." Taekwoon's lips quirked into a smile, "Besides, Sanghyuk is already asleep and I... probably _shouldn't_ drive with alcohol in my system."  
  
Hakyeon smiled sadly, "No... you shouldn't..."  
  
\------  
  
Waking up with Taekwoon next to him was... incredible.  
  
Even though Hakyeon hadn't really slept that much anyway, thanks to the onslaught of emotions from the previous night, while Taekwoon had fallen asleep pretty quickly, due to the alcohol in his system, it was still nice to see his face first thing in the morning. Hakyeon had gotten so accustomed to waking up alone for the past year, that having someone there just made him so happy.  
  
The younger man was also wearing Hakyeon's clothes and looked so warm and cozy all wrapped up in his blankets. Taekwoon was a cocooner, Hakyeon hadn't had any blankets for half the night, but that was ok. There was something about Taekwoon being happy that made _him_ happy in turn.  
  
It was probably weird to watch him while he slept, but Hakyeon couldn't help it. He was so beautiful and the older man couldn't help but think that this was how they should have woken up the morning after they slept together in that hotel. It probably wouldn't have happened even if Hakyeon _hadn't_ freaked out, considering their kids were in another room alone, but Hakyeon could dream.  
  
As if noticing that he was being watched, Taekwoon's eyes fluttered before opening and immediately landing on Hakyeon, "Morning..." he greeted, voice raw and growly with sleep.  
  
"Good morning." Hakyeon greeted back softly, reaching a hand out to smooth the younger's messy hair, "Sleep well?"  
  
Taekwoon chuckled, "Better than I probably should have. Did you sleep at all?"  
  
"I... got about an hour of sleep altogether." The older admitted, "Broken up into, like, fifteen minute intervals."  
  
"Sorry..." Taekwoon apologized, eyes taking in the other’s obviously sleep deprived face, "I should have stayed up with you. I was the one that ripped open all those wounds yesterday. I say I'll be there for you at any time and then I fall asleep, what the fuck..?"  
  
Hakyeon laughed, "You _were_ here. Just the fact that you were next to me helped a lot."  
  
The younger smiled, "You seem... better than yesterday. I'm glad."   
  
Returning the smile, Hakyeon moved closer to Taekwoon, pausing briefly before pecking him sweetly on the lips, "I still feel... like my world is collapsing, to be completely honest. But, for the first time since the accident, I also feel... hopeful. Like I might actually be happy again someday."  
  
"I promise I'll try my best to _make_ you happy." Taekwoon replied, "You and your kids."  
  
"Actually... It's funny, but you've _already_ made them happy in an indirect way." The older stated, causing Taekwoon to blink in confusion. "Of all the kids at school and all their friends that they hang out with, the twins seem to like Sanghyuk the most. They keep asking _me_ when you're gonna bring him over again. And, also, he's the only one of their friends that Wonshik is actually comfortable exposing his face around. He's never done that with anyone else."  
  
"Sanghyuk's not judgemental." Taekwoon stated proudly, "He notices things, but he doesn't make a big deal out of it."  
  
"He's like you." Hakyeon smiled, "You're both... very understanding people."  
  
The younger shrugged, "I guess. It's probably because we come from a big family with _so_ many different types of people with so many issues. We learned to accept everybody for who they are."  
  
"So... you think Sanghyuk will accept _me_?" The other man asked, somewhat nervously.  
  
"Sanghyuk knows."  
  
Hakyeon blinked, "Huh? Sanghyuk knows what?"  
  
"He knows about you and me." Taekwoon replied matter-of-factly, "He keeps asking me if I'm gonna marry you and if Jaehwan and the twins are gonna be his brothers. He's so excited because you're the first person I've been seriously interested in since he's been around."  
  
"Wow... You're very... open with him." Hakyeon started, sounding just a little judgemental, "He's four years old."  
  
Taekwoon chuckled, "Well... firstly, you've spoken to Sanghyuk, he's not your average four year old."  
  
"No, I know that. He's ahead of his time, but still..."  
  
"And secondly, I... could be wrong, I mean, he is my first child and I have _no_ idea what I'm doing, but... I feel like if I'm open with him and don't keep him in the dark about everything, he'll be open with me too. Especially later in his life, when it’ll really matter." The younger explained, "Obviously I'm not gonna tell him _everything_ , but like... the fact that I have a liiittle crush on you... why should I keep that from him?"   
  
Hakyeon glanced around, "You think... that's what I should have done with Jaehwan..?"    
  
Taekwoon sighed sympathetically, "I can't tell you how you should and shouldn't parent your child, Hakyeon. If you're not _comfortable_ being open with him, then that's your prerogative."  
  
"I mean... after the accident..." the older clarified, "Honestly... do you think I should have showed him how much it affected me? I thought I had to be strong for them, so that _they_ could heal."  
  
"I think you should have." Taekwoon confirmed, "You said it before; he grieved alone and kept everything bottled up because he felt the exact same way you did. That he had to be strong for the twins because they were having a harder time than he was. If the two of you were just honest about your feelings, you guys _might_ have been on a completely different level now." His eyes widened a little when Hakyeon looked away sadly, "I'm not saying that you did anything wrong. You're not a bad father, Hakyeon, I'm just saying that's what _I_ would have done."  
  
"No, you're right." The older muttered, "I wasn't there for him. I kept him at arm’s length just because Hongbin and Wonshik were more visibly affected and that was unfair."  
  
"You can still make it up to him." The younger assured, "But, like I said, let me talk to him first."  
  
Hakyeon took a deep breath, "Yeah. Let's take it one step at a time, I guess."

  
\------


	7. "I Mean It. I Love You."

Taekwoon was nervous. He was nervous around a fourteen year old.  
  
Like he had suggested, Hakyeon's kids were at his apartment, watching movies and playing games. As expected, Hongbin had told Wonshik what he had witnessed the previous night the minute the older twin woke up. Jaehwan, as usual, got out of bed much later than his brothers, so Hakyeon had time to tell them not to say anything to him.  
  
Jaehwan was more sensitive than the twins were. He would _not_ react well to being given this kind of info from them.  
  
So now, while the twins and Sanghyuk were playing some video game on one of Sanghyuk’s consoles in the living room, Taekwoon and Jaehwan were making microwave popcorn in the kitchen.  
  
And Taekwoon was nervous as hell.  
  
"Jaehwan..." he started after taking a deep breath.  
  
The teen looked up from his task of starting the microwave, "Yeah?"  
  
Taekwoon fidgeted awkwardly with the glass bowl in his hands, "Why don't you like me?"  
  
Jaehwan raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"  
  
"You give me the cold shoulder a lot whenever I come over. Or you just ignore me." The older explained, "Why don't you like me?"  
  
The teen paused in that position for a moment before looking back at the microwave and scoffing, "Because I know what you're after..."  
  
"Do you?" Taekwoon asked, tilting his head, "What am I after?"  
  
"My dad." Jaehwan replied simply, causing the older's eyes to widen.  
  
It made sense that he knew. Probably knew from the beginning. But it was still a little... shocking.  
  
"What do you mean?" He questioned, trying to sound confused, "What makes you think I'm after your dad?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno..." the teen started sarcastically, "The way you look at him. The fact that you left little notes in his room. The fact that you asked him to work for you when he had no previous qualifications and wasn't even _looking_ for a job." He paused and took a deep breath as he stopped the microwave, "Plus... Sanghyuk accidentally let it slip."  
  
Taekwoon chuckled, "So... you know. But how do you _feel_ about it?"  
  
"I don't have to feel _any_ way about it." Jaehwan shrugged, "It's never gonna happen."  
  
The older blinked in confusion before placing the bowl down in front of the teen, "Why?"  
  
Jaehwan scoffed, putting the popcorn into the bowl, "Well... No offence, but I don't think he swings that way."  
  
"I'm... not so sure about that..." Taekwoon replied, not entirely sure what to say.  
  
"I am." The teen countered, discarding the popcorn bag and picking up the bowl, "I actually thought... When Sanghyuk told me, I thought that you the two of you might actually get together. Cause, like... he hasn't been with anyone since my mom died and I figured, if he couldn't love another _woman_ , then there’s still a chance he could go for a man and you just conveniently came into the picture at the right time."  
  
"But..?" Taekwoon prompted.  
  
Jaehwan sighed, "But... the night we stayed at the hotel, he... uh... I thought he was still with you, but he was actually with... He slept with someone. He didn't deny it and he didn’t deny not using a condom either, so..." he shrugged and puffed out a breath of air, "He's obviously a little reckless, but it seems like he's still interested in being with women, he just needed time to get over mom, I guess..."  
  
The older pursed his lips, a million thoughts running through his mind. Should he tell him? Should he not? Should he let Hakyeon be the one to tell him? _How_ would he tell him? How would he react? Would he do something stupid? Would he hate Hakyeon even more?  
  
What was he supposed to do..?  
  
"Did you know about that?" The teen asked curiously.  
  
"I-I..." Taekwoon managed before making up his mind and clearing his throat, "Jaehwan, we... I _was_ with him... that night..."  
  
"Well, yeah, I know." Jaehwan replied, "I meant later that night."  
  
"So do I..."  
  
Jaehwan frowned in confusion before realization crashed down on him and he dropped the bowl he was holding, causing it to shatter into tiny pieces on the floor. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, wanting to say something, but being at a complete loss while Taekwoon momentarily panicked because Hongbin was in the next room. He didn’t think they could hear anything over the sound of whatever game they were playing, but he couldn’t help but worry.  
  
Not being able to say anything other than a quiet "S-Sorry...", the teen bent down to pick up the pieces of broken glass amongst the popcorn.  
  
"Jaehwan, wait. Leave it." Taekwoon demanded, torn between checking on the kids and staying here with the teen, eventually deciding that, from the way his hands were trembling, Jaehwan was a little more important right now.  
  
"It's ok. I got it..."  
  
"Jaehwan..."  
  
The teen ignored him and continued picking up the shards, completely uncoordinated and cutting his fingers on the sharp edges until Taekwoon couldn't take anymore and bent down himself, grabbing his wrists.  
  
"Stop it." He commanded, eyes trained on Jaehwan's bloody fingers.  
  
The younger paused for a moment before lunging at Taekwoon, knees pressing painfully into the broken glass as he tried to hit him or punch him or just _hurt_ him in some way, the firm grip on his wrists preventing him from doing any real damage.  
  
"Jaehwan, stop!" Taekwoon shouted, trying to calm the teen's violent flailing while simultaneously trying to get him off the glass shards piecing his skin. He let go of the younger's wrists for only a moment, earning a surprisingly powerful fist in his face, before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him against his chest in an attempt to restrain him and comfort him at the same time. "Stop. Please." He repeated, softer and calmer this time.  
  
Jaehwan's struggling ceased, but he still trembled and the hug slowly became less about restraining him and more about just... hugging him.  
  
"Hey... calm down..." Taekwoon stroked the teen's hair softly, speaking quietly, "Listen... I know you miss her. And I'm not trying to take her place, but... I promise I'll take care of him..."  
  
Sobs wracked through Jaehwan's body and Taekwoon just hugged him tighter as he felt his shirt get damp from the teen's tears.  
  
"I promise I'll take care of the twins too." He continued, "I promise I'll try my best to help Wonshik with his self-esteem and help Hongbin to slowly understand that the world isn't all bad. I promise I'll help _you_... I'll take on some of your burden so you can enjoy your life and just be young for a change."  
  
"I-I... I can't..." Jaehwan squeaked out through his tears.  
  
"You can." Taekwoon assured, "You can be happy, Jaehwan, you _all_ can. I know... that your dad puts a lot of pressure on you to take care of your brothers, but... You should talk to him. Tell him how you feel."  
  
The teen let out a choked, bitter chuckle, "I can't talk to him. He doesn't listen to me. He just gets angry."  
  
"Well, that's why _I'm_ here." The older stated, "I'm great at mediating, if you need me."  
  
"I might... I might take you up on that..." Jaehwan muttered.  
  
"Anytime." The older replied.  
  
They paused like that for what felt like forever before Taekwoon noticed the thick red liquid slowly puddling near Jaehwan's legs and he suddenly remembered that the teen was still kneeling on broken glass.  
  
"Jaehwan, stand up." He commanded, as he tried to get to his feet, effectively pulling the still teary-eyed teen up with him, "We need to get you cleaned up before you get some sort of popcorn infection or something."  
  
Jaehwan chuckled, wiping his eyes, "How much would it suck to die from a fucking popcorn infection..?”  
  
"If you don't get cleaned up, you'll know." Taekwoon replied, leading him out of the kitchen and toward the bathroom, "Or... you _won't_ know... cause you'd be dead..."  
  
The teen snorted, "Wow, aren't you smart..?"  
  
The older laughed and then paused as they walked past the TV room, calling to the three kids sitting on the couch, "Guys, don't go in the kitchen. There's glass on the floor."  
  
"How come?" Ever curious Hongbin asked, thankfully still looking peaceful and happy.  
  
Taekwoon waved his hand dismissively, "We accidentally broke the bowl we put the popcorn in. I'll clean it up in a moment, just don't go in for now."  
  
"Ok, Appa." Sanghyuk's cheerful voice piped up, still very much engrossed in the game he was playing with Wonshik.  
  
His father sent a quick nod to Hongbin, who was still staring at him - probably at his broken lip from where he had just been punched - before ushering Jaehwan all the way into the bathroom.  
  
"There's no glass in your fingers, is there?" Taekwoon asked, opening the medicine cabinet.  
  
Jaehwan inspected his hands closely before shaking his head, "No, I don't think so."  
  
"Ok. Then just run it under the water. I'll clean it up and put some band aids on it in a moment."  
  
The teen nodded and did as he was told, opening the faucet and running his painful, bleeding fingers under the cold water while the older man pulled out disinfectant, cotton balls, band aids and a pair of tweezers. He placed everything down on a counter and looked down at the teen's knees. His jeans were obviously ruined, that was for sure. He was also wearing the kind of jeans that were ripped at the knees, which meant he probably did have some glass stuck in his skin.  
  
Jaehwan closed the tap and turned big, pleading eyes on the older while he held his wet hands out to Taekwoon who almost - _almost_ – straight up squeeed at how the teen finally, for the first time since they'd met, seemed like a child.  
  
Taekwoon gently dried Jaehwan’s hands before using the cotton balls and disinfectant on his cuts and then covering each one with a band aid. Six of Jaehwan's fingertips were wrapped up and he chuckled at how funny his hands looked before looking down at his own bleeding legs and then back up at Taekwoon with a 'what now?' expression.  
  
The older handed him the pair of tweezers, "Here. Take out any glass pieces that might still be in your legs. I'll go look for something that will fit you because I'd much rather not send you back to your dad with bloodstains on your clothes..."  
  
"Well, if there was any reason for him to leave you..." Jaehwan replied mischievously, eyeing Taekwoon with a smirk on his face.  
  
The older sent him a look before turning and walking away, "Just wait here. I'll go get you some pants."  
  
"Just send me home _without_ pants. Let's see how well _that_ goes down." The teen responded.  
  
"That's disgusting, Jaehwan, shut up." Taekwoon shouted back, already on his way to his closet.  
  
The younger chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and getting to work pulling out all the glass in his knees that he could get to with his jeans still on. Taekwoon returned soon after and Jaehwan raised an eyebrow at the garment in his hands.  
  
"You want me to wear swimming shorts?" He deadpanned, "What, did you run out of speedos?"  
  
Taekwoon sighed in exasperation, "I don't have any other kind of shorts and all my other pants will be too long for you... because you're small."  
  
"Oh, shut up." Jaehwan pouted, grabbing the shorts from him, "I'm still growing. I'm twenty years younger than you."  
  
"Fifteen years." The older corrected, walking out of the bathroom, "And yeah, you are still growing. Maybe if you eventually reach my height, I'll let you wear some of my other clothes. But until then... wear the goddamn shorts." He immediately shut the door and Jaehwan laughed to himself.  
  
Maybe he was wrong. Maybe having Taekwoon as a step father wouldn't be _that_ bad.  
  
\------  
  
  
  
"And? Did you guys have fun?" Hakyeon asked as he drove his kids home later that night.  
  
"Uh-huh." The twins replied in unison from the back seat.  
  
"We watched movies--" Wonshik started.  
  
"And played games--" Hongbin continued.  
  
"On their _huge_ 3D TV." Wonshik.  
  
"It was so cool." Hongbin.  
  
"We should come here more often." They finished simultaneously.  
  
Hakyeon chuckled. Even after ten years, he still couldn't quite get used to how telepathic the two of them seemed to be. He realized that it was probably just because they spent almost every waking minute together. They learned the same things at the same time, so it would make sense that they spoke the same and thought pretty much the same way too, but it was still amazing to him.  
  
"Did you win any of the games?" He asked, glancing at them in the rear view mirror.  
  
"No..." Wonshik replied just as Hongbin chirped out a happy "Yup!"  
  
Well, maybe they weren't _that_ alike.  
  
Hakyeon pulled up at a red light and looked over at his oldest son, "Jaehwan?"  
  
The teen jumped a little, as if he'd just been snapped out of his thoughts, "Hm?"  
  
"Did you enjoy yourself?" His father asked.  
  
"Oh... yeah." Jaehwan muttered in response, "Sanghyuk's cute. Taekwoon's cool..."  
  
Hakyeon pursed his lips. He had noticed the band aids and the fact that Jaehwan was wearing pants that were not his, but he didn't want to jump to any conclusions and, at the same time, considering how rocky his relationship with the teen had been lately, he was scared to question him about it.  
  
"Did... did you and Taekwoon talk?" He asked instead, opting to try and work his way around until the subject came up.  
  
The teen nodded, "Yeah. He's actually nice to talk to. He doesn't treat me like I'm five."  
  
"What did you talk about?" The older asked, driving off as the light changed.  
  
"Stuff." Jaehwan replied ambiguously.  
  
"Like?"  
  
The younger shrugged, “ _Stuff_.”  
  
“Yeah, like what? What kind of stuff?”  
  
The teen groaned, "Like the fact that my dad didn't trust me enough to tell me that he was interested in someone, let alone that he was already in a serious relationship. Is that what you're asking about?"  
  
Hakyeon felt a stab of pain in his chest from that, "Jae..."  
  
"And the fact that both my little brothers and Taekwoon's four year old son knew before I did."  
  
"Jaehwan, I'm sorry." His father apologized softly, "I just wasn't sure how you would react."  
  
"You were so scared to be honest with me that you had to get your... _lover_ to tell me cause you couldn’t?" Jaehwan snapped, "That's cowardly, even for you."  
  
Hakyeon sighed, "I know if _I_ were the one to tell you, you would have reacted badly..."  
  
"I broke a bowl, punched him in his face and bust his lip." Jaehwan shrugged, " _That_ kind of 'reacting badly'?"  
  
"You did what?!" Hakyeon shouted back.  
  
The teen glared at him, "Oh I'm sorry, you should have _told_ me if you didn't want me touching his precious face."  
  
"Jaehwan--"  
  
"Don't. Just don't." The younger cut off whatever he wanted to say, "I regretted hitting him pretty quickly afterwards, so you don't have to get all worked up and lecture me about it. But that’s only because Taekwoon is a cool person."  
  
"What happened? Why did you hit him?" Hakyeon demanded.  
  
Jaehwan chuckled bitterly, "You're _so_ interested in me giving Taekwoon a little cut on his lip when you didn't even ask why I have band aids on my hands and knees. Or why I'm wearing Taekwoon's clothes. You didn't even ask if he hit me back. Do you care at _all_?"  
  
"Of course I care, Jaehwan, but I know you. You wouldn't have told me anyway."  
  
"I'm not gonna tell you why I punched him either, but that won't stop you from asking." The teen hissed, "I would tell you to stop being a hypocrite, but that _is_ what you do best."  
  
"Oh my God..." Hakyeon muttered through clenched teeth, "Just once, do you think you can just talk to me without the attitude?"  
  
"I dunno. Can _you_?"  
  
"See? That's exactly the kind of attitude I'm talking about." The older stated, feeling his temperature rise steadily, "If you wanna be treated like an adult, then _act_ like one."  
  
"How can I act like one when you still look at me like I'm two years old and you never take me seriously?!" Jaehwan shouted, "You're either incredibly controlling or you just don't give a fuck about how I feel!"  
  
"Do not curse at me, Jaehwan!" Hakyeon spat right back, "You're already on my bad side, I will make you stay in your _room_ without any outside contact for a month if you keep this up."  
  
The teen scoffed, "Whatever. I don't fucking care anymore."  
  
His father hit the top of the steering wheel in anger, "Stop! It!"  
  
"D-Dad?" Wonshik's small, shaky voice piped up unsurely from the back seat, "Can... can you slow down… please? You're scaring Hongbin..."  
  
Hakyeon slowed down immediately, eyes darting up to the rear view mirror to look at his two younger kids who, in his rage, he had actually forgotten were in the car. Both twins were sitting on either side, but they had their hands interlocked in the middle, the younger of the two facing downwards with a deep frown etched on his face and his eyes closed shut in some sort of silent prayer.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kongie, it's ok." Hakyeon apologized somewhat frantically, voice taking on a very forced comforting tone, "Look, I slowed down." he continued, feeling his heart drop when Hongbin _still_ didn't open his eyes. "Kong..."  
  
Jaehwan suddenly unclipped his safety belt and turned around in his seat, kneeling on it as he reached his hand out to stroke his youngest brother's hair gently. "We're almost home, Kong. Are you gonna keep your eyes closed 'til we get there?"  
  
The scared child nodded, having absolutely no intention of opening his eyes prematurely.  
  
The teen glanced at Wonshik who looked back at him with confused 'I don't know what to do' puppy eyes and a slight pout. Jaehwan chuckled and muttered out a soft "Cute" before engulfing the twins' joined hands in his slightly larger one and squeezing slightly, "Ok. I'll let you know when we get home."  
  
"Ok." Hongbin replied softly, "Thanks, Hyung."  
  
Hakyeon felt a lump form in his throat.  
  
Jaehwan was only four years older than them, but he was a better father-figure to the twins than Hakyeon ever was to _him_. He could blame it on being young and stupid when Jaehwan was born, but that excuse wore thin pretty quickly. He could blame it on stress over the past year, but that just made him feel worse because Jaehwan was going through huge amounts of stress himself.  
  
Ultimately, he could only blame himself. And that felt horrible...  
  
\-----  
  
  
  
Hakyeon bit his lip and tipped his head back, trying to make as little noise as possible despite the slow building pleasure of Taekwoon's hips rolling between his legs.  
  
The kids probably wouldn't be able to hear them anyway from where they were asleep in Taekwoon's living room, but Hakyeon had to be cautious.  
  
He dug his heels into Taekwoon's lower back, pulling him in deeper and earning a pleasured groan from the younger man.  
  
Hakyeon and his kids had ended up back in this apartment a week after the last time. A week after Jaehwan found out about them and subsequently stopped speaking to his father altogether after their fight in the car. Taekwoon had, once again, suggested that the two of them talk it out and Hakyeon agreed, albeit nervously. Hakyeon figured they should let the kids enjoy themselves together for the night, considering that it was Sanghyuk's first _official_ sleepover, and opted to talk to Jaehwan when they got home the next day.  
  
Taekwoon knew it wasn’t going to happen. Hakyeon was obviously just procrastinating.  
  
They hadn't meant to end up making love in Taekwoon's gigantic bed, but the kids were already asleep and the two of them had lay on the bed, talking until the early hours of the morning and one thing led to another and, honestly, Hakyeon had _no_ idea how this happened.  
  
Not that he was complaining.  
  
Taekwoon changed his angle slightly, pushing Hakyeon's legs up further and lifting his head to connect their lips together because…  
  
"Mmh!" The older's loud moan was muffled by his lover's mouth as the head of Taekwoon's cock pressed against Hakyeon's prostate. They kept their pace slow and sensual, the younger's length slipping in deep on every thrust before pulling out halfway and then repeating the process again. And again. And again...  
  
Taekwoon broke the kiss, panting hard as he kept his lips barely brushing against the older's as Hakyeon made soft little aroused noises as he got closer and closer to orgasm.  
  
"Tae... Taekwoon..." Hakyeon whispered. Neither had really said anything since they started, not so much out of a desire to stay quiet so the kids couldn't hear them, but more so because they had silently decided to forgo the dirty words in favour of just _feeling_ each other, in complete contrast to the last time they’d slept together. Everything felt different this time; there was no urgency, no desperation, they were just enjoying being connected in the most intimate way. Hakyeon's shirt was off this time and, while he had initially been reluctant to lose it, Taekwoon had convinced him that those scars were not a reminder of all the horrible things that happened on that day, but rather a reminder of how he had been willing to risk bleeding to death in order to save his son. A reminder of how much he loved his children.  
  
And that’s why those scars were beautiful.  
  
Hakyeon opened his eyes a little and locked them with Taekwoon's equally hooded, equally dark ones, breaths coming in short, choked pants, "Gonna cum..."  
  
Taekwoon said nothing in response and just went back to kissing the older man, slipping his tongue into his mouth and moaning as the slide of Hakyeon's tongue against his pushed him over the edge and he bucked his hips a little too hard as he came, filling the older and pulling him over with him, causing him to spurt messily between their bodies with a soft whimper. It was a calm, lazy kind of lovemaking and even the peak was more of a pleasurable release than a mind blowing electric shock.  
  
Despite their mutual heavy breathing, their kissing continued as they came down from their orgasmic highs, gradually getting less deep and passionate until it was a gentle press of their lips together.  
  
Eventually breaking the kiss again, Taekwoon buried his face in Hakyeon's neck, catching his breath as he breathed in that unmistakable, sweet scent of the older's skin. It reminded him of the day Hakyeon had given him his jacket and all the warm feelings that came with that moment and the kiss that had followed. It reminded him of how gorgeous Hakyeon looked in the Armani suit and how much more beautiful he looked when it came off. It reminded him of everything they had been through together and how badly he wanted to be with him.  
  
"Is this a bad time to say I love you?"  
  
Taekwoon chuckled tiredly, "Fuck you, Hakyeon..."  
  
The older returned the chuckle before pressing a kiss against Taekwoon's ear, "I mean it. I love you."  
  
The younger sighed in contentment, "I love you..."  
  
Hakyeon smiled. It had been a strangely difficult thing to deal with, realizing that he was in love with Taekwoon. He thought it was purely attraction for a long time and even after Taekwoon had first confessed _his_ feelings, he still thought he didn't feel the same way. It was only after Hakyeon had told the younger man what happened on that fateful day a year ago and finally got everything off his chest that he noticed he trusted Taekwoon more than he had realized and that he wanted to be close to him as much as he could. It took him back to when he was a teenager and madly in love with the girl who would later become his wife. The way he felt about her back then, when they were young and passionate about each other, was the same way he currently felt about the man in his arms right now. Taekwoon obviously still didn't own as much of his heart as his wife did, they hadn't yet had the time to develop that easy kind of love that makes both people feel like they're complete when they're together, but Hakyeon did love him.  
  
And he hoped that they would reach that point one day.  
  
Taekwoon lifted his head and rested his chin on his palm, brushing Hakyeon's wet bangs out of his face with his free hand, "Hey, I was thinking... Wonshik's surgery..."  
  
"What about it?" The older asked, placing a hand on his lover's waist in an attempt to just _touch_ him.  
  
"Do you know how much it’ll cost?"  
  
Hakyeon sighed, "I don't want you to pay for his surgery. I'm his father, I should be the one to do it."  
  
"I knew you would say something like that..." the younger grumbled under his breath, "Ok, then... Let's put it this way; I'll _loan_ you however much you need and you can pay me back whenever you can."  
  
"Taekwoon..."  
  
"Think about it." Taekwoon insisted, "Wouldn't you rather get it done now and give him his confidence back than wait until you save up enough money and risk him losing his self-esteem altogether? He's a sweet, adorable kid, Hakyeon, he doesn't deserve to walk around with a mask over his face."  
  
"I know he doesn't deserve it, but..." Hakyeon argued, "I mean... he could learn to love himself from this and accept himself for who he is."  
  
"That's not him though." The younger replied, "That is the result of a horrible accident that no one had any control over. But we can fix it. So _let_ me fix it."  
  
"I really don't know..."  
  
Taekwoon sighed, leaning his head on the older's chest, "Let me do it. And the money you've been saving up lately, maybe use it to get a good therapist for both Hongbin _and_ Jaehwan. And maybe you too."  
  
"Taekwoon, I love you. And I trust your parenting skills more than I trust my own, but... these are _my_ children. And... it might sound like I'm being selfish, but I want them to respect me. I want to be able to give them what they need myself. I don't want them to see me as... being useless."  
  
Taekwoon was about to argue but held his tongue. In a way, Hakyeon was right. _he_ was their father, Taekwoon had no right to tell him how to take care of them. He had no right to assume he knew what was best for them.  
  
"Ok... but... can I just do one thing?" The younger asked, fingertips subconsciously tracing the scarred lines on Hakyeon's body.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can I ask them?"  
  
"Ask them what?"  
  
Taekwoon raised his head again, "Can I ask them what they want? Like... I know Wonshik wants this surgery really bad, but... can I at least ask Jaehwan if he wants to go for counselling?"  
  
"Of course you can ask him..." the older replied, "Although, I think he'll like talking to _you_ a lot more than some stranger on a couch. Also, I told you before, but Hongbin's _been_ to a psychiatrist. All they did was make him talk about the accident every week and it would trigger an attack and then they'd spend the rest of the session getting him to relax. They also put him on anti-depressants that made him feel ten times worse, so we stopped that and he actually gradually got a little better on his own. It was all a waste of time and money and he himself said that he never wants to go back."  
  
"Psychiatrists are trained professionals, they--"  
  
"Taekwoon." Hakyeon cut in, voice taking on a warning tone.  
  
The younger sighed, "Ok. Sorry."  
  
Silence fell over them as Hakyeon stared at the ceiling and Taekwoon once again dropped his head to listen to his lover's heartbeat.  
  
"I'll consider it." The older finally spoke, "Everything. Wonshik's surgery, the therapist... Just... let me sleep on it, ok?"  
  
"Ok." Taekwoon replied before placing a kiss on Hakyeon's collarbone, "Thank you."  
  
\----  
  
  
  
Taekwoon couldn't help the poorly concealed laugh that bubbled up as Jaehwan walked into the kitchen the next morning, looking like he just got out of a fight with a rabid hair dryer. Contrary to the way his hair was always so perfectly styled, he now had what looked like a fluffy brown poodle on his head and it was weirdly adorable.  
  
The teen glared as Taekwoon tried, very unsuccessfully, to mask his laugh by coughing, "Shut up, Fake Mom. I have curly hair. Bite me."  
  
"No. Hongbin's hair is curly." The older replied with a smirk, "Yours is... poofy."  
  
"Hongbin's hair is a weird, perfect mix between my mother's curly hair and my father's straight hair." Jaehwan stated, folding his arms across his chest before shaking his head and plopping down on one of the island stools, "Why are we even talking about this?"  
  
"Because you finally look cute, mister poodle." Taekwoon mocked, "Coffee?"  
  
"Yes. Please." The teen replied, letting his head rest on the counter.  
  
The older got to work brewing the coffee in silence, using the obnoxiously expensive branded coffee machine that Hakyeon's twins were so excited about the previous night.  
  
"Taekwoon..." Jaehwan started, head still down, "Can I ask you something?"  
  
Taekwoon poured the coffee into two mugs, "Sure."  
  
"Sanghyuk wasn't planned, right?"  
  
The older raised an eyebrow as he set the two mugs down and sat down opposite the teen, "What?"  
  
Jaehwan raised his head to look at the older, "I mean... you didn't plan to have a kid, did you?"  
  
"Well, no. Not at that time." Taekwoon replied, "Why?"  
  
"But you love him anyway." The younger continued, ignoring the question, "You seem like you adore him more than anything on the planet."  
  
"I do. Sanghyuk means the whole world to me." He stated, narrowing his eyes, "Why all the random questions, Jaehwan?"  
  
The teen pursed his lips and avoided eye contact, "My... my dad always says that he loves _me_ , even though I was a mistake too."  
  
"Of course he does. He loves you a lot."  
  
"Then..." Jaehwan fidgeted with his fingers, eyes trained on the marble counter top, "He keeps telling me about the consequences of having sex and how I could accidentally get a girl pregnant, but... He did the same thing. I was the result of what he always likes to call 'teenage lust', but he... he loves me. He always says that he doesn't regret having me. So… it can't really be that bad right?"  
  
"What? Having a child in your mid-teens?" Taekwoon asked, confused, "You're not actually considering doing that are you?'  
  
"No, it's not that I _want_ to, I'm just saying... if it does accidentally happen, would it really be such a bad thing?"  
  
Taekwoon glanced around, unsure of how to respond to that. In a way, it kind of made sense that Jaehwan's stance on teenage pregnancy would be a little lax, considering he was the result of one such pregnancy. He knew that, statistically, kids born from teenage parents were very likely to have a child of their own as teenagers too. Still...  
  
"Listen, I can't relate. I was twenty-four when Sanghyuk was born." The older stated, "But... think about how it affected your parents. They dropped out of school, didn't get to go to college, didn't get to follow their dreams. They didn't get to do things teenagers and young adults do because you were their priority."  
  
"They didn't get to do all that, but they did get to experience having a baby." Jaehwan argued, "I could be wrong, but I feel like children might be a little more important than doing 'teenage things'."  
  
"Those ‘teenage things’ _are_ important. What you do when you're a teen shapes who you’ll be for the rest of your life." Taekwoon replied, "I don't mean to go there and I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but... if your dad got a formal education, you guys would be much better off financially. You would be able to pay for your brother's surgery, you wouldn't have to count every penny. You'd be a lot more comfortable, and more financial stability means less stress."  
  
"Look, I know you're swimming in the stuff, but I was always taught that money doesn't buy happiness." The teen countered, "It's not important."  
  
Taekwoon huffed, "Money _doesn't_ buy happiness. But it is important. Ask your dad about how hard it was raising you when he had nothing. You wanna give your child the world and make sure they're happy and healthy and that their minds are well stimulated and their emotional development is good and... you can't do that if your entire pay cheque goes toward buying diapers and baby food."  
  
"I grew up fine..."  
  
The older rested his head on his palm, "Did you?"  
  
Jaehwan raised an eyebrow, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"  
  
"You obviously have some issues with your father. You're doing everything he warns you _not_ to do." He stated, "And, judging from the short time that _I've_ known you, it kinda seems like you think Hakyeon doesn't love you as much as he loves the twins."  
  
"He doesn't." Jaehwan replied, matter-of-factly, as if he was completely sure of that statement.  
  
Taekwoon smiled sympathetically, reaching over the table and stroking the teen's hair, "He does. But he was a child himself when you were born. By the time the twins came along, he had a bit of a tighter grasp on the world and could show his affection for them better. He loves you, but at the same time, you'll always be a reminder of the stress and the mental and emotional strain that he went through back then. That’s what I think anyway."  
  
"Gee, that makes me feel _so_ much better..." the teen muttered sarcastically.  
  
"Sorry, I don't mean to upset you. But that's the truth about teenage parents. Especially teenage parents who don't have _their_ parents support. It can really take a toll on a person." The older explained, "That's why... I _think_ that's why he gets angry with you so easily. He doesn't mean to, it's just a natural reaction. Like the way loud noises set Hongbin off."  
  
"So you're basically saying he'll _never_ love me like he loves the twins."  
  
"No, I'm saying the two of you need to work on your relationship. Talk to each other. Maybe with a third person around. Preferably a professional of some sort because, as much as I might sound like I actually _have_ an idea what I'm talking about, I'm pretty much just talking out of my ass right now."  
  
Jaehwan snorted and pulled his previously forgotten coffee mug closer to him, "Maybe we should."  
  
"You should." Taekwoon agreed, "You'll be fine, kid. It'll work out somehow."  
  
"I hope so..."  
  
The older took in a deep breath, "So… moral of the story; hold off on the sex and the unplanned pregnancy for now, ok?"  
  
The teen chuckled, "Yeah, ok... For now."  
  
"Cool. We'll have this conversation again when you turn fifteen." Taekwoon mused.  
  
"That's in like three months..."  
  
"Then yeah, every three months, we'll talk about this." The older replied, bringing his coffee mug up to his lips, "Lecturing you four times a year sounds like a good idea."  
  
Jaehwan groaned, "Oh god... We're gonna have to do this four more times?"  
  
"Twelve more times." Taekwoon corrected, "Until you turn eighteen and suddenly become a responsible contributor to society overnight instead of being a dumb seventeen year old, because apparently that happens."  
  
The teen laughed, "What are you on about?"  
  
Taekwoon returned the laugh, "I just always found it funny how people suddenly see someone differently when they turn eighteen. You're no different than you were a day earlier, you're either the same immature teenager that you were before or you've been a mature adult from _before_ you were eighteen. But, y'know... I guess eighteen is legal, so... I'm obligated to not give you any advice afterwards in case you sue me or something."  
  
Jaehwan shook his head, still chuckling, "Whatever, Mom."  
  
"Stop calling me 'Mom'..." the older grumbled.  
  
"It's the only way that I can make it _less_ weird that you're sleeping with my dad." He shuddered violently, "Ew. I just thought of it again..."  
  
Taekwoon smirked, "Well, actually, last night, he and I--"  
  
"Oh my God, no..." Jaehwan whined, covering his face with his hands and curling into himself.  
  
On cue, Hakyeon stepped into the kitchen, yawning as he did so before he spotted Taekwoon and Jaehwan at the counter and smiled, "Oh. Good morning."  
  
"Morning." Taekwoon greeted back while Jaehwan just made a noncommittal noise.  
  
Hakyeon paused as he reached them, torn between giving Taekwoon a good morning kiss - something he was itching to do after last night - and _not_ kissing him in order to spare Jaehwan the obvious discomfort that would bring him.  
  
Finally, he just placed a hand on Taekwoon's arm and squeezed lightly before wordlessly walking past them to the coffee machine.  
  
Things were still super awkward, as Taekwoon knew they would be. But the saddest thing to him was the fact that he, the outsider, wasn't the one making things awkward.  
  
The father and son duo were growing further and further apart and that was heartbreaking.  
  
He sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. Hopefully they could still work things out...  
  
\-------


	8. "Let's Find A Way To Help Each Other, Instead Of All The... Anger..."

Taekwoon had a random thought one day as he sat with Sanghyuk and the twins in his private suite at the hotel.  
  
He had no idea what Hakyeon's wife looked like. At all.  
  
All he could deduce about her was that she had curly hair, thanks to what Jaehwan had previously said, but other than that, he had nothing.  
  
Not that it was terribly important for him to know what she looked like, he was more curious than anything because he'd been officially dating Hakyeon for just over a month - not including all the times they'd been together before Hakyeon was completely on board with the idea - and yet he hadn't seen a single photo of her.  
  
But even more weird, now that he thought about it, was that there were no photographs _anywhere_ in Hakyeon’s house. None at all. Not of him or his wife _or_ his kids. No wedding photos, no family photos, nothing.  
  
Stepping out of the room where the three kids were playing and into the main living area, Taekwoon spotted Hakyeon standing at the window, completely engrossed in something happening outside and probably only around ten percent aware of what was happening around him. Ignoring him for the time being, he instead walked to what used to be the extra bedroom but had been promptly claimed by Jaehwan as soon as the teen had first walked in, and knocked lightly on the door.  
  
A quiet "Come in." Sounded from inside the room and Taekwoon immediately obliged, opening the door, stepping inside quickly, then shutting the door behind him and pausing in that position.  
  
Jaehwan, sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand, raised an eyebrow, "Why do you look like you just realized your whole life has been a lie?"  
  
"Uh, Jaehwan..." the older started, ignoring the question. The teen had a habit of being snarky... "Why don't you guys have any pictures of your mom at home?"  
  
The teen frowned, "Why do you suddenly care?"  
  
"I'm just curious." Taekwoon admitted, "I realized I've never seen a photo of her."  
  
"Why does it matter? You trying to match her beauty, Fake Mom?" Jaehwan mused.  
  
"I'm not your fake mom..." the older pouted.  
  
"Taek-Mom then?"  
  
"Oh my God, Jaehwan, just tell me." He almost whined, earning a smug smile from the teen for getting under his skin. "You guys don't have _any_ photos. Why?"  
  
The younger shrugged, "Dad took all the photos that had her in it and put them all in a box somewhere after Hongbin had a panic attack from seeing her face." He explained, "And then... he took down all of Wonshik's pictures too because he thought it would make him feel even more self-conscious if he saw himself pre-accident. And just to make it fair, and to not worry the twins, he decided to pack away _all_ of the photos. He says it's temporary, but I dunno..."  
  
"Wow... do you know what he did with them?" Taekwoon asked somewhat nervously, still standing awkwardly with his back to the door.  
  
Jaehwan narrowed his eyes before sighing and reaching into his book bag, "I can't show you a photo of her, but if you wanna know what she looks like so badly..." Taekwoon watched in interest as the teen pulled out a book and opened it to the first page before handing it to him, "It's not perfect, but... You'll get the basic idea."  
  
The older took the book - a sketch pad, by the looks of it - and looked down at the pencil drawing on it.  
  
It was a woman. With long, light-coloured hair, curly but flowy at the same time. She had a slim face, long eyelashes and a small, cute little nose. Pretty eyes, round and innocent and a beautiful smile to accompany them.  
  
Taekwoon stared at the drawing in awe, not entirely sure if it was awe at how beautiful she was or at how good Jaehwan's drawing skills were. Both things together rendered him speechless.  
  
"Hongbin looks a lot like her." Jaehwan finally spoke after a few awkward moments of the older staring wide-eyed at the page.  
  
"Yeah, I can definitely see that." Taekwoon breathed out, "She's beautiful."  
  
The younger went silent for a moment before replying with "Yeah... she was..."  
  
Taekwoon mentally kicked himself.  
  
"But, uh..." he started, trying to change the subject a little, "I didn't know you draw."  
  
Jaehwan shrugged, "It's just a hobby. It keeps me busy when I need a distraction from life."  
  
"This is amazing. You have a real talent for this." The older replied, taking in the pencil detailing of the picture, "Are there more?"  
  
"Yeah. That sketch pad is kinda like... a collection of things that are important to me..."  
  
"Can I flip through the rest?"  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
Taekwoon moved to sit on the bed, near the young artist, so they could see the drawings together. He flipped the page over gently, worried that he was going to mess something up if he moved any faster.  
  
The next drawing was a landscape one. It was of a road of some sort and everything seemed rather normal, so… “How is this important?”  
  
“It’s, uh… It’s the stretch of road where we had our accident.” Jaehwan explained, “I went there afterwards with someone and sketched it cause I hoped it would… y’know… help.”  
  
“And did it?”  
  
“I… I dunno...” he admitted, “I mean, I felt the same afterwards, it’s not like it magically made me feel better. But, I guess… just going there made me think a lot, so maybe that helped.”  
  
Taekwoon nodded and flipped the page again to the next drawing.  
  
His heart suddenly jumped and a smile crossed his face. It was a picture of the twins, smiling and happy. But, for the first time, Taekwoon saw Wonshik's face - his entire face, the way it was meant to be - and it gave him this weird sense of bittersweet sadness.  
  
"He was so cute..." Taekwoon muttered under his breath.  
  
"He's still cute." Jaehwan argued, "He's pretty much an angel. Angels are beautiful no matter what they look like."  
  
The older smiled. Jaehwan would never say something like that when his brothers were actually around. He _definitely_ wouldn't say it when Hakyeon was around. But it was nice to know just how much he loved them first-hand. "Right. He is still cute. But hopefully he’ll be cute on the outside again soon."  
  
The teen sighed, “Yeah, well, not if my dad keeps procrastinating and getting fifty different ‘second opinions’.”  
  
Taekwoon pursed his lips, flipping over to the next page before Jaehwan started getting angry at his father again.  
  
The next picture made him blink and tilt his head in confusion. He didn't know this person, but whoever she was, she obviously meant something to Jaehwan for him to draw her.  
  
"Who's she?" Taekwoon asked.  
  
"She's, uh..." the younger started nervously, "She's... my girlfriend."  
  
"Oh?" The older asked, barely concealed surprise litting his features, "How long have you been going out?"  
  
Jaehwan shrugged, trying to appear cool about it, "About six months."  
  
"And you're really into this girl?"  
  
The teen's cool act dissipated immediately as he curled into himself adorably and nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips and a light pink dusting his cheeks.  
  
Taekwoon smiled, "What do you like about her?"  
  
"Oh, wow, uh... Everything?" Jaehwan replied, "She's sweet and cute and... I dunno, she's just... incredible. She’s so… selfless and kind, like… I can tell her anything and she’ll listen. Y'know, she's the one that got me to take my art more seriously. She saw me randomly sketching one day and told me that I was good at it, so... She's kinda like my own personal cheerleader."  
  
"She sounds amazing" Taekwoon replied.  
  
"She is." The teen agreed, finally locking eyes with him.  
  
The older glanced around, not wanting to take this cute conversation to a slightly darker place, but feeling the need to. "So... is she the reason you're carrying condoms around and wondering about teenage pregnancy?"  
  
Jaehwan looked down at his hands, "Yeah..."  
  
"And... Does your dad know about her?" Taekwoon asked, finally getting to the question he initially wanted to ask.  
  
"No..." the younger muttered, eyes still trained downwards, "I mean... he's met her, kinda… but I'm sure he thinks she was just some random girl that I wanted to sleep with."  
  
"Your dad knows what it's like to be in love at a young age." Taekwoon stated, "You should tell him. I'm sure he'll understand."  
  
Jaehwan chuckled bitterly, "You overestimate him..."  
  
"You know him way better than I do, sure, but I know the romantic side of him." The older replied, "He's a sucker for a love story."  
  
"You keep saying the word 'love'." The teen suddenly complained, shifting uncomfortably, "Can you... y'know, _not_?"  
  
Taekwoon smirked, "I'm sorry, I figured since you were at the point of planning for your future children with her, you might have been in love with her. My mistake."  
  
Jaehwan glared, "Just flip the page..."  
  
The older did as he was told, chuckling as he flipped to the next drawing and promptly froze before scoffing. "Wow, kid, I'm flattered."  
  
"Don't be. I was drawing Sanghyuk and there was extra space."  
  
"Ah... I see." Taekwoon laughed as he looked at the drawing of himself and his son. Eyes resting on Sanghyuk's adorable beaming face, he couldn't help but notice a recurring pattern with all of Jaehwan's pictures. "Everyone you draw is so... happy."  
  
"I told you, drawing is something I do to take my mind of how shitty my life is." The teen stated, "Drawing everyone happy kinda... tricks my mind into believing that I am too."  
  
Taekwoon felt like his heart just collapsed. It was easy to forget, with all the wit and the sass, that Jaehwan wasn't as happy and put together as he often seemed. There was a lot going on in his head and, due to his strained relationship with his father, he felt like he had nobody to lean on aside from his friends who didn't have the knowledge or life experience to really help him, given that they were still only in their early to mid teens.  
  
"Hey... maybe one day you'll find yourself _genuinely_ happy and you won't have to pretend anymore." He said with a somewhat forced smile.  
  
Jaehwan scoffed, "Optimistic..."  
  
Moving on before he dwelled on that for longer than was necessary, Taekwoon flipped the page again, expecting to see the one person that hadn't yet popped up in Jaehwan's sketch pad of important people, but... nothing. It was blank. As was the rest of the pad.  
  
"So... you... haven't drawn your father?" Taekwoon asked unsurely.  
  
The teen sighed, "No. Like you said, everyone in here is happy and smiling and... I can't really remember the last time my dad actually smiled at me." He shrugged, "It's difficult to draw when I don't have a reference..."  
  
Taekwoon's heart just sunk impossibly further. This needed to change. They were family but Jaehwan felt unloved and Hakyeon felt disrespected. It was a difficult situation that they were in, but Taekwoon was hopeful that they could overcome it.  
  
They just needed a little push...  
  
He cleared his throat, "So, have you ever thought about doing commissions?"  
  
"Like, drawing people's portraits and charging for it?" The younger asked, "No, I haven't. Art is just a hobby."  
  
"Well, can I ask you to do one anyway?"  
  
"Of who? You?"  
  
Taekwoon handed the book back to its owner and stood up, walking towards the door, "I'll let you know in a little bit, ok?"  
  
"Wait, where are you going?" Jaehwan called as the older opened the door and walked out of the room.  
  
"I'll be back in a while." The older stated vaguely as he shut the door behind him, eyes immediately darting to his lover still standing in the same spot, staring almost longingly out the window.  
  
Slinking up behind him, Taekwoon wrapped his arms around Hakyeon, causing him to jump a little in surprise before relaxing into the younger man's touch.  
  
"Hey..." Hakyeon greeted softly.  
  
"Hi." The other man replied with a kiss to his temple, "What are you so interested in?"  
  
"Outside. There's a wedding." Hakyeon replied.  
  
Indeed, there were rows of seats – currently only sparsely filled – a long carpet, an arch and other wedding decorations in the gardens outside. Weddings were a common occurrence at the hotel and Taekwoon never really paid much attention to them as they happened so often. Sure, every now and then he would watch one and picture what his own wedding would be like, but his attention would be quickly grabbed by something else and he would remember that he was ok with not getting married anytime soon.  
  
Hakyeon, however, was watching like he was a personal guest. He was so invested in it and Taekwoon found that oddly cute.  
  
"My wedding was just like this." The older stated quietly.  
  
"You had an outdoor wedding?" Taekwoon asked, equally as quiet.  
  
Hakyeon nodded, "It was beautiful. Everything was black and white but, because it was outside, there was a lot of green as well. But more than the scenery... _she_ was beautiful." He paused, smiling as he recalled that day eleven years ago, "I remember her walking down the aisle with her father. He... gave me the best 'if you hurt her, I'll kill you' look and then handed her to me anyway."  
  
"So, your in laws approved of you marrying her?"  
  
"Oh, yeah." The older replied, "Her parents seemed to like me, I was fortunate in that regard. Even when Jaehwan was born, they were much more supportive than my parents were."  
  
"But... did your parents at least come to your wedding?" Taekwoon asked curiously.  
  
Hakyeon fell silent for a moment before blowing out a deep breath, "They were there. But they showed up late and left early. I only got to speak with them for a little while, but that was the exact moment when I realized I no longer wanted them in my life."  
  
"Why? What happened?"  
  
"My mother told Jaehwan that he was the reason she was unhappy."  
  
Taekwoon frowned, "What?"  
  
"She told... my three year old son that if he hadn't been born, our lives would be so much better." The older spat, anger evident in his voice, "Poor kid didn't even really understand what she was talking about. If they hadn't left just afterwards, I would have thrown them out myself, I swear..."  
  
The younger snuggled up closer to his lover and breathed into his hair, subtly trying to calm him down, "Was Jaehwan involved in the ceremony?"  
  
Hakyeon visibly relaxed and his lips quirked into a small smile, "Yeah, he was the ring bearer. He was so cute, all dressed up in his little tux, so careful about making sure that the rings were placed perfectly on the little pillow and smiling so brightly once he completed his job without a hitch. He would have been just a little younger than Sanghyuk is, at the time. He was so adorable..." he glanced down at the gold band around his finger, having been subconsciously playing with it the entire time, "I wonder... if it's time I get rid of this..."  
  
"Your wedding ring?" The younger asked.  
  
Hakyeon nodded, "Yeah. She was buried with hers and I wanted to put mine with her as well, but they took it off when I was in the hospital and I only got it back after her funeral. I thought about leaving it on her gravestone too, but some douchebag will just steal it and pawn it off somewhere."  
  
"Do you still have her engagement ring?" Taekwoon questioned further.  
  
The other man nodded again, "Yeah, she didn't wear it often, so... I guess nobody bothered to put it on her finger before they..."  
  
Taekwoon sighed into the older's hair before removing his arms from around him and stepping back, "Y'know what... I need you to just wait here for a moment."  
  
"Why? Where are you going?" The older asked, tilting his head in confusion at the sudden reaction.  
  
"I'll be right back." He answered, quickly making his way back to the room he had previously come from, opening the door and poking his head inside, "I want you to draw someone for me."  
  
"Have you ever heard of knocking?" Jaehwan groaned.  
  
"Sorry." Taekwoon offhandedly knocked on the door, causing the teen to roll his eyes.  
  
"Who, where and why?" The younger asked, half-heartedly grabbing his pencil set and sketch pad before getting to his feet.  
  
"Come on, in the living room." The older stated, clearly avoiding telling him who, in case he refused outright.  
  
Jaehwan stepped out of the room with Taekwoon close behind. He spotted his father and immediately understood, turning back to glare at his ‘fake mother’.  
  
Taekwoon dug in his pockets and pulled out a few bank notes, holding it out to the teen almost nervously, "I'll pay you. And hey, you said you didn't draw your dad because you had no reference. Well, now you do. You can ask him to do any pose or any look you want, he's right here."  
  
"Draw me?" Hakyeon piped up curiously, obviously picking up on that one sided conversation.  
  
"Uh, yeah." Taekwoon replied, leading Jaehwan closer to his father, "He's trying to take drawing more seriously now, so he could use the practice." He turned to the teen in question, "Right?"  
  
Jaehwan's eyes stayed locked on the floor, "He, uh... he doesn't even know I draw..."  
  
Oh.  
  
Taekwoon wasn't sure why he was even surprised at this point, he shouldn't have been, but it was still so sad that Hakyeon wasn't aware of so many things that were important to Jaehwan. "Oh... Well... he does. And he's really good. But... You'll see when he's done drawing you." He looked at the teen, "Please do it. It'll be good for both of you, I promise.”  
  
"Will you be here?" Jaehwan asked.  
  
The older fidgeted, "Uh, no. I think I'm gonna take the kids down to the arcade." He walked to the room where the three youngest were still playing and knocked on the door, "I think you guys need some time alone."  
  
The door opened and Wonshik stood on the other side, blinking up at Taekwoon innocently.  
  
"Guys, let's go to the arcade downstairs. There's a lot of games you guys can play there."  
  
"Ooh!" Sanghyuk suddenly beamed excitedly, "The arcade is really fun, we have that game I was telling you guys about there."  
  
Hongbin was on his feet and at his twin brother's side in record time with his mask in hand while Sanghyuk turned off the console they had been using before catching up with him too.  
  
"We all ready?" Taekwoon asked once Wonshik had successfully put his mask on. All three children nodded and the older man ushered them to the door of the suite, only turning back once they were all in the hallway, "We'll see you guys later."  
  
With that, he shut the door and Jaehwan suddenly felt more nervous than he thought he would.  
  
"Um..." Hakyeon started, equally as awkward as his son, "So... What... what's going on?"  
  
Jaehwan took in a deep breath to steel himself before turning back to look at the older man, "Tae... Taekwoon wants me to draw your portrait as a commission from him."  
  
"Oh. Ok."  
  
The teen felt this weird urge to cry. He had kind of hoped that Hakyeon would ask him about his art or want to see something that he’d drawn. He’d hoped that he would show _some_ sort of interest at least, but… it was almost as if Hakyeon didn't really care...  
  
"Do you need me to sit somewhere in particular?" Hakyeon asked, sitting on the windowsill.  
  
Jaehwan shook his head, "There's fine. I'm just gonna do the basic sketch now and then I'll detail and shade it properly later. I just need you here as a reference for the sketch."  
  
"Ok." The older replied quietly.  
  
The teen took another deep breath and grabbed his stuff before pulling a chair and sitting down in front of his father. He flipped to a blank page and breathed out slowly, glancing up as he started sketching Hakyeon's face. "Can, uh... can you smile? Please?"  
  
It was a strange and somewhat difficult request for Hakyeon, but he did it anyway, mind going back to the wedding outside and memories of his own wedding, making his smile more genuine.  
  
Jaehwan sketched in silence. It was quite clear that Hakyeon's mind wasn't on what was happening at the moment and that just made the teen feel worse. His hands trembled and he had to breathe deeply to get through each heart crushing moment, but he still managed to draw. He made sure to draw Hakyeon's face before anything else and got through it as quickly as he possibly could, not detailing the sketch as much as he usually would on the first draft, but he just couldn't handle looking at his father having to think about something to smile about because he couldn't smile at _him_.  
  
"You, uh... you can stop smiling... if you want." Jaehwan spoke up softly, snapping Hakyeon back to the present moment.  
  
The older's smile faded immediately and he actually _looked_ at Jaehwan for the first time since they'd started. "So... when did you start doing art commissions?" He asked unsurely, feeling like he was still treading on thin ice with the teen.  
  
"Today." Jaehwan admitted, "Taekwoon suggested it and this is the first one I'm doing."  
  
"Oh ok..." Hakyeon muttered. Taekwoon obviously had a specific motive for getting Jaehwan to draw him and for leaving the two of them alone in the process.  
  
Taekwoon constantly nagged at him to talk to the teen and Hakyeon kept putting it off, but... maybe this was the best opportunity he had...  
  
He cleared his throat, "Jaehwan, we should talk. I know we haven't exactly had the best relationship and--"  
  
"Wait." The teen interrupted, "Before we talk, can I... can you promise me something?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Promise you'll listen. And you won't get angry... and... you'll try and see things from my point of view..."  
  
Hakyeon felt his heart crack, "Of course. I promise."  
  
"Ok..." Jaehwan replied before taking yet another deep breath, "Go ahead... with... whatever it was you were saying."  
  
"Oh, I was just... saying that, uh..." the older continued awkwardly, "We don't have the best relationship and I hope that... we can talk and, y'know... communicate?"  
  
The teen chuckled, eyes focused on his work, "You sound a little unsure."  
  
"I don't want things to get worse between us." Hakyeon admitted, glancing away before he realized that he shouldn't move and quickly went back to his previous position. "Tell me something about your life. I wanna know what's going on with you."  
  
“What do you wanna know?”  
  
“Uh… school. Tell me about school.” Hakyeon spoke, “How are things going?”  
  
Jaehwan shrugged, “Good? You get my report card, I’m not failing anything.”  
  
“No, I mean… are you enjoying school? Do you like your teachers?”  
  
“Uh… I dunno…” the teen mumbled, not entirely sure what to say. He had hoped this conversation would be a little deeper than something a long lost distant cousin would ask him, “I… School is ok. And my teachers are… ok. I guess.”  
  
“That’s good…” Hakyeon muttered in return.  
  
Silence fell over them yet again and Jaehwan couldn’t take it this time, opting to try and open up a little on his own.  
  
"So… Uh..." he started, hiding his face behind his sketch pad, "Do you remember... that day you came to get me from that party? The... high school one..?"  
  
Annoyance over that whole situation bubbled up inside Hakyeon and he had to remind himself that he had promised that he wouldn't get angry, "Yeah. What about it?"  
  
"The girl I was with that night. Th-the... one whose parents were there too..." the teen continued, voice getting quieter and more unsure with every word.  
  
Hakyeon vaguely remembered this girl. He knew there was _a_ girl there - she was indirectly the reason that he even found out about that party - but he hadn't really paid attention to what she looked like or who she was or anything, really. "Yeah, I remember her. Kinda."  
  
"Well, she... wasn't just a random girl..." Jaehwan stated, "She's actually... We've been dating for a little while now..."  
  
The older's eyes widened, "Y-You... you have a girlfriend?"  
  
Jaehwan nodded, "I... didn't wanna tell you because... with you finding the condom and grounding me for being with her at that party, I didn't want you to know how much she actually meant to me because I didn't... want you to use her against me..."  
  
Hakyeon frowned, "Use her against you? How?"  
  
"If you knew... and you wanted to punish me, you could have... taken her away from me." The teen answered weakly, "You could have forbid me from seeing her, forced us to break up or something like that. And... I wouldn't be able to handle that, so... please don't..."  
  
"Jaehwan, I would never--"  
  
"You say that now." The younger interrupted, "But when you're angry... you seem to do everything you can to hurt me."  
  
Hakyeon thought about that night of the party a lot. He would remember how angry he was and how severely he had wanted to punish Jaehwan. Sure, he hadn't gone through with it, but he would have if the teen hadn't accidently let slip that his rebellious habits were a coping mechanism for him. After that night, he'd promised himself that he would take a deep breath and count to ten or something before getting angry at him again.  
  
But then... the night Jaehwan found out about his relationship with Taekwoon, Hakyeon found himself seeing red quickly and even scared his youngest child to the point where he refused to open his eyes until they got home and, even then, he just went straight to his room and had to be consoled by Wonshik until they both fell asleep.  
  
Hakyeon didn't think he had an anger problem. But Jaehwan had a way of pushing his buttons that just made him furious in a heartbeat.  
  
"I'm sorry." He finally apologized, "I don't... mean to get so angry with you, but... I just..."  
  
"Taekwoon said... he thinks I remind you of everything you lost and how difficult your teens were. And it made sense, once I thought about it." Jaehwan spoke, fingers still sketching his father's hair, only half-focused, "You could have had a great life if it wasn't for me. You'd still have gotten married when you were eighteen and legal. You'd still have your parents in your life. You’d have the twins when you were nineteen and done with school. I was the shackles that kept you from your happiness and, somewhere deep down, you still have some sort of resentment towards me."  
  
"Jaehwan, I love you." Hakyeon assured, heart in about a million pieces at the pit of his stomach, "I love you. Things were hard when you were a baby, sure, but I'll say it as many times as I need to; I love you."  
  
"I know you do." The teen replied, "You love me... but I make you feel horrible at the same time and that's ok. I know, just like how Hongbin can't control his panic when he hears something break, you can't control your anger when I do something wrong and you probably don't even realize it."  
  
"J-Jaehwan, I..." the older stuttered, feeling himself start to tear up, "You might be right, I have no idea. I honestly don't..."  
  
"I don't know either, but... can you maybe... just... _consciously_ try not to get so angry with me?" Jaehwan asked, "I know I fuck up... sorry, screw up a lot, and I get that you're trying to help me and discipline me and all that because you love me and you want me to turn out good and become something, but could you try to maybe... do it in a way that _shows_ that you love me? Because... when you get angry and start yelling and threatening me, it just makes me want to get away from you more." He let out a shaky breath, "I do respect you, dad... but the more you shout at me, the less respectable you seem and the more I want to keep my distance from you because you... scare me..."  
  
Hakyeon felt a tear roll down his face. Followed by another one.  
  
He never would have thought that Jaehwan was afraid of him. He could see why he would be, but it was as shocking a wakeup call as a bucket of ice water splashed in his face to hear the headstrong teenager actually admit that he was scared of his own father.  
  
"I'm sorry." The older choked out, placing his hands over his eyes as he could no longer prevent himself from crying, "I'm so sorry..."  
  
Sobs wracked through his body as every fight he'd ever had with Jaehwan played out in his head, overlapping again and again and again and it was all just too much for him to handle. After every fight, Hakyeon would hate himself just a little more, but what he felt now was on a whole other level.  
  
He'd felt like a bad father before. Now he just felt completely worthless...  
  
He was so focused on his memories and his self-hatred that he barely even noticed the pair of arms sliding around him as his son gave him a real hug for the first time in ages.  
  
The teen said nothing and paused in that position, once again being a source of comfort for someone who needed him. Finally, Hakyeon hugged him back, holding the back of his neck in a similar fashion to how somebody would support a new-born’s head.  
  
"Oh my God..." Hakyeon choked out weakly, "I should be the one comforting you. I'm sorry..."  
  
"It's ok." Jaehwan replied simply.  
  
His father chuckled through his tears, "I probably don't even have to worry about who you'll grow up to be, you're already ten times stronger and more mature than I was at your age."  
  
"I have two brothers who need me..."  
  
"They're lucky they have you." Hakyeon stated, lifting his head to look at the teen, "I'm lucky I have you too. And I don't want to lose you. I _can't_ lose you just because I'm being a self-obsessed idiot. I'd never forgive myself if I did."  
  
"Then let's figure this out somehow..." Jaehwan suggested, "Let's find a way to help each other, instead of all the... anger..."  
  
"Um... Taekwoon suggested we see a therapist." The older replied unsurely.  
  
Jaehwan snorted, "Yeah, he told me that as well."  
  
"Maybe he's on to something." Hakyeon shrugged, wiping at his eyes with one of his sleeves, "Maybe it will do us some good."  
  
"Therapists are expensive. The good ones anyway." The younger complained, obviously having done some research already, "We can maybe just... try and work it out ourselves and keep that money for Wonshik."  
  
Hakyeon smiled. Jaehwan was really a selfless person, if he really looked at him... "Well... There is one way we can get both..."  
  
The teen tilted his head, "How?"  
  
"Taekwoon wants to pay for Wonshik's surgery." The older admitted, "I didn't want him to initially because... I was... being selfish again and I didn't want you and the twins to see me as being unable to give you things on my own..."  
  
"You should let him." Jaehwan stated simply, "I think it's more respectable to ask someone for help for the sake of your child's happiness than to let your pride control you."  
  
Hakyeon laughed, "Y'know, sometimes it sucks how smart you are..."  
  
The teen shrugged, "It's a curse."  
  
"I really do love you." The older once again assured, pulling him back into the hug, "Don't ever think otherwise."  
  
Jaehwan relaxed into the hug for a moment before he perked up again, "Hey... check it out."  
  
Hakyeon pulled away and turned in the direction that Jaehwan was looking; out the window, to the wedding below. The bridal party were making their way down the aisle and the bride stood at the back with a man who they assumed was her father.  
  
People watched with their eyes glued to her as the two of them finally started walking. A glance at the audience showed that some were already in tears and Hakyeon couldn't help but think about his wedding again.  
  
Shaking his head so that he wouldn't dwell on the past too much, he lifted his left hand to eye level, "I was wondering... I want your opinion on this too."  
  
"What?" Jaehwan asked, eyes searching his father's hand for some sort of explanation.  
  
"My... my ring." Hakyeon replied, "I think it might be time I take it off, but... I dunno what to do with it..."  
  
"You should get rid of it." The teen stated immediately, making his father's eyes widen in surprise.  
  
Jaehwan always seemed to want to hold on to as much of his mother as he could, as would be expected of a teenager who lost a parent, so the fact that he would approve of Hakyeon no longer wearing his wedding ring was rather shocking.  
  
"You think so?" Hakyeon muttered, eyes trained on the little gold band.  
  
The teen nodded, "Mom's gone... I miss her and I know you miss her too. But we all have to move on eventually and if you keeping your ring on is keeping you in the past, then get rid of it." He took in a deep breath before continuing, "Moving on doesn't mean we'll forget her. We never will."  
  
"Never." The older agreed, slipping the ring off and holding it between his thumb and forefinger up in the light, causing it to shine beautifully.  
  
"Besides..." Jaehwan added with a smirk, "You need to make space for Taekwoon's."  
  
Hakyeon laughed, "You're getting _way_ too ahead of yourself."  
  
"Hey, you should be glad I'm so supportive of your new lover." The teen mused, folding his arms across his chest, "You're lucky Taekwoon's a cool person."  
  
"I am lucky..." Hakyeon agreed, smiling briefly at the thought of the man who turned his life around. He placed the ring in his palm and held it out to Jaehwan, "Here... I want you to get rid of it."  
  
"How? What do you want me to do?" The younger asked, gingerly taking the ring.  
  
"Throw it. Bury it. Lose it. However you feel like doing it."  
  
Jaehwan took in another deep breath and stared at the shining ring in his hand before aiming out the window and throwing it. For a split second, Hakyeon had a kind of dread that he was throwing it directly into the crowd of onlookers at the wedding, but he relaxed when it passed them and splashed softly into the nearby pond. It probably wouldn't be too long before someone found it - one of the hotel staff probably - but it was almost liberating to watch it disappear in an instant and Hakyeon let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.  
  
"Nice throw."  
  
"Thanks. I never knew my hand eye coordination was so good." Jaehwan chuckled.  
  
Hakyeon smiled and placed a hand on the teen's back, patting him slightly, "So... I say we go downstairs and talk to Taekwoon about everything and then take things from there."  
  
"Yeah, I agree." The younger replied before turning to look at the discarded sketch pad on the little coffee table, "The picture's not quite done, but I got the basics down. I'll complete it some other time."  
  
"Oh. Right." Hakyeon muttered, having all but forgotten about the drawing, "I'm looking forward to seeing it when it's done." He threw an arm around his sons shoulder, "Come on, let's go."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
Hakyeon couldn't help but chuckle as he and Jaehwan walked into the arcade and spotted Taekwoon and the kids at four different machines, lined up in a row, all that promised over a hundred tickets if they won. They were obviously farming tickets for something at the gift shop and he just found that weirdly adorable.  
  
Jaehwan went to stand in between Wonshik and Sanghyuk while Hakyeon stayed close to his youngest child. "What are you doing, Kong?" He asked, fingers combing through Hongbin's soft hair.  
  
"We need a thousand tickets." The child replied simply, far too focused on his game.  
  
His father watched the game he was playing, trying to make sense of it and failing miserably, "What are you guys trying to get?"  
  
"Uh..." Hongbin cringed as he apparently just failed at the game before turning to look up at the older, "It's some sort of electronic board game. Sanghyuk says it's fun, but his one is at Taekwoon's apartment, so we're gonna try and win the one here."  
  
"Oh, I see. Good luck then." His father replied as Hongbin smiled and then quickly went back to the game. Hakyeon turned and made his way towards his lover standing at another, similar machine, "Taekwoon... _really_?"  
  
"What? I'm teaching them life skills." The younger man shrugged, eyes not leaving the machine, "If you want something, you gotta earn it."  
  
"Mmm... Not when your family literally _owns_ the arcade." Hakyeon argued, snaking an arm around Taekwoon's waist, "You could probably just ask them for it and they'll give it to you."  
  
The younger lifted his arm and wrapped it around Hakyeon's shoulders, playing his game with only one hand now, "Well, yeah, but where's the fun in that?"  
  
Hakyeon chuckled as the game ended and Taekwoon won a whole five tickets. He cuddled closer to the younger man who now gave him his full attention and threw his other arm around Hakyeon's shoulders, holding him close as the older hugged him back. He buried his face in Taekwoon's shirt, chuckling softly "Stop being a better parent than me." Hakyeon whined, voice muffled.  
  
The younger smiled, snuggling back, "Sorry. I grew up learning about everything to do with money and trading and business management." He chuckled, "I might turn out to be a tyrant one of these days."  
  
"You're gonna make Sanghyuk work for his food when he's, like, ten." Hakyeon mused, leaning back to look at his lover's face.  
  
"What, you think he doesn't do that already?" Taekwoon joked back, eyes softening as he locked gazes with the older man. "So... how'd it go? With Jaehwan and the drawing and the... ring."  
  
Hakyeon smiled, "It went well. Thank you, I probably wouldn't have gotten around to talking to him if it wasn't for you."  
  
"You're welcome." The younger replied, "It needed to happen. I just couldn't handle it any longer."  
  
"Thanks. And... as for the ring..." he pulled away and lifted his now bare left hand up to show the younger, "I got rid of it."  
  
"And? How do you feel? You alright?"  
  
"I feel..." Hakyeon sighed before his lips curled into a smile, "Fine. I feel fine. It was just an object. She'll always be in my memory, with or without it."  
  
Taekwoon smiled back and held the older's hand, pressing a gentle peck to the somewhat reddened skin where the ring had rested for the past eleven years before leaning in and kissing his lips, soft and with an underlying comfort that was always present with his kisses.  
  
"Ew. Get a room... Please..." Jaehwan piped up, causing the couple to break the kiss and turn to look at him.  
  
The teen gagged overdramatically before turning back to his brothers and their friend, but Hakyeon noticed the smile on his eldest son's face and that just made his whole day complete.  
  
It had been way too long since they had been so content.  
  
So... happy.  
  
\------


	9. “Wonshik Was Sanghyuk’s Hero A Few Months Ago And Now They’re… Brothers, Pretty Much…”

Taekwoon brushed his hair out of his face as he tried his hardest to focus on the papers he was reading.  
  
The couple sitting opposite him at his desk - the owners of some company that he _really_ didn't care about at that point - stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish reading their proposal or sign something or... Taekwoon didn't even know _what_ they wanted him to do anymore. He took in a deep breath and attempted to steel himself, reading over every word carefully but still not really understanding.  
   
He clenched his fist, knowing that he was pulling a little too hard, but enjoying the feeling of the silky strands between his fingers mixed with the satisfaction of inflicting just a little pain on the man between his legs. Under his desk. With his lips wrapped around his cock.  
  
Taekwoon would _never_ have pegged Hakyeon as kinky. Apart from their first night in the hotel, Hakyeon had always been a 'door locked, lights off, in bed' kinda guy and Taekwoon never complained because the older man was obviously comfortable that way.  
  
Comfortable Hakyeon was confident Hakyeon. And confident Hakyeon was ‘I will rock your fucking world’ Hakyeon.  
  
So when he had burst into Taekwoon's office, just minutes before the younger's meeting and briefly reminded him of his previously mentioned bucket list item of having sex in a public place before quickly sliding under the desk, unzipping Taekwoon's pants and engulfing his entire length, he was beyond shocked. He barely had enough time to protest when there was a knock at his door and he suddenly had no choice but to tell them to come in.  
  
Not that he disliked this random, very risky blow job, but this meeting was important and these people were important and Taekwoon had no fucking idea why at this point, but he knew he couldn't screw anything up.  
  
So he grit his teeth, grasped Hakyeon's hair way too hard and tried his absolute best not to make any noises or telltale facial expressions.  
  
It was harder than it seemed.  
  
"U-um..." Taekwoon stuttered then cleared his throat, glancing up at the pair seated across from him, "It looks good, but... Mmm..." he had to shut his mouth quickly as Hakyeon suddenly stopped with the teasing he'd been doing and started bobbing his head with the sole purpose of getting the younger off right in front of his potential investors, "I'm just... Can I maybe take this home and think on it, I-I'm... feeling a little under the weathe-- uh..." he somehow managed to mask a moan by coughing and wasn't sure whether to mentally curse Hakyeon or thank him for the pleasure running through his body and the undeniable thrill he was getting from this.  
  
The woman nodded, "Yeah, you look a little flushed. You should sleep on it until you feel better. This isn't something you should go into half-heartedly."  
  
"Yeah, mm..." Taekwoon placed a hand over his face and growled low in his throat in what hopefully sounded more like pain and less like he'd just cum into his lover's mouth.  
  
"Should we call a doctor?" The woman asked, looking more concerned because, hey, it probably did sound like he was in agony, that was good.  
  
He shook his head as Hakyeon licked at the head of his still pulsing cock, cleaning up any drops of cum he may have missed, "No, I'm ok. I'll... I'll go to the hospital or something in a little bit. But I'm fine, thank you for the visit..."  
  
"No problem." The man finally spoke, standing up with his wife and stretching out his hand and Taekwoon was suddenly at a loss for what to do.  
  
Normal, polite office interaction would be to stand, shake their hands and see them to the door, but... that wasn't very possible at that point. Not if Taekwoon wanted to maintain his image and not be reported for indecent exposure or something.  
  
So instead, to avoid touching anyone with his sweaty palms, he just let out a choked chuckle, "Sorry, I... I don't think you wanna get sick because of me. Maybe we'll leave the handshakes for next time too, huh? Once the deal is actually done."  
  
"Sure. Of course." The man replied, reeling his hand back in.  
  
His wife leaned on the desk, blissfully unaware of the man on his knees underneath it, "Does that mean you're leaning towards accepting the deal?"  
  
Taekwoon laughed lightly, "I promise I'll let you know by the end of the week."  
  
She returned the laugh before placing a hand on her husband's back, "It was worth a shot. Come on, let's go."

They walked to the door and opened it, stepping out with a concerned "Feel better" from her before they left and shut the door behind them.  
  
Taekwoon suddenly felt like he could breathe.  
  
Using all the strength left in his sated body, he rolled his chair back and panted down at his lover blinking innocently up at him with a smile on his face.  
   
"Fucking hell..." the younger breathed out.  
  
Hakyeon crawled out from under the desk and stood up, "Kink fulfilled? Or would you like to continue?"  
  
Taekwoon paused, at a loss for words before shaking his head, "That was… fucking amazing. But you're gonna get me fired..."  
  
The older deadpanned, "Your family literally owns this place. And they love me. And they understand how sexy and irresistible I am." Taekwoon raised an eyebrow at the narcissistic remark but had no time to reply before Hakyeon continued, "Well, your sisters do."  
  
"You've been talking to my sisters?"  
  
"What can I do?" He shrugged, "I'm the hot guy dating their brother."  
  
The younger laughed, "Wow. When did you become so full of yourself?"  
  
Hakyeon returned the laugh and leaned against the desk, "I blame you. I think you compliment me too much."  
  
"I know. It is my fault." Taekwoon replied, "But I can't help it that you're beautiful."  
  
"Oh god..." Hakyeon cringed, still chuckling.  
  
"So?" The younger started, "What brought on this random, semi-illegal show of affection?"  
  
"I, uh... I need something from you." Hakyeon explained vaguely, "And apparently the prostitute side of myself, that I didn’t know I had, thought that the best way to get it would be to seduce you."  
  
"What do you need?"  
  
"Uh..." he fidgeted nervously, glancing around before letting his gaze rest somewhere on the younger's chest, "So... You said before... You offered to pay... for, y'know, Wonshik's surgery."  
  
"Yeah. That offer still stands." Taekwoon replied, "Do you want me to?"  
  
"I... I do." Hakyeon admitted, "But I still feel like I might be sending him to the wrong person, so... I want you to do some research with me. Come to a few appointments with us. Just... y'know, be a part of it. I mean, if you want to, of course. You're not being forced to do anything I just figured you might have more of an objective opinion about--"  
  
"Hakyeon." The younger interrupted, "Of course I will. I know somebody who does this kinda stuff. He’s one of the best around. A little… pricey, but that doesn’t matter, I'll give him a call and we can go see him." Hakyeon nodded, still looking unsure and Taekwoon sighed, "Listen... I know you hate having to rely on somebody else, but it's just money. It doesn't have the same value as Wonshik's happiness. Besides, it's not a matter of _you_ asking for money, _I_ want to do this for him. Think of it as my gift to him."  
  
A small smile crossed Hakyeon's face and he finally locked eyes with his lover, "Thanks. That... means a lot to me."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
Wonshik used a small, precision paintbrush to carefully trace over the lines that Jaehwan had sketched onto the fancy paper that they bought for what they were referring to as 'the ultimate mask'.  
  
After Hakyeon had finally _finally_ agreed to take Taekwoon up on his offer to pay, they went to see Taekwoon's contact a couple of times and the ten year old's surgery was at last scheduled for a month from then. So Wonshik, over the moon at the thought of finally having his face back, made the suggestion to make one last mask together. His brothers agreed, Hakyeon agreed and they'd even invited Sanghyuk over to help them.   
  
This 'ultimate mask' needed to be special, so they had spent the entire morning working on it. The three younger kids listed off things they wanted on it while Jaehwan took those ideas and came up with a few different designs, drawn fittingly in his sketch pad of importance. They mutually decided on one design and Jaehwan had sketched it out in pencil on the new, softer paper they were using, opting to let the younger boys actually paint the final product to allow them to get more involved.  
   
The mask had a geometric pattern on one side, a 3D metal-esque medallion drawn at the bottom - Jaehwan would have to shade that part himself - and a pair of crossed swords over an eye with each of the boys’ names hand written in the four quadrants. It was a rather simple design and Jaehwan thought it was incredibly cheesy, but Wonshik's eye had sparkled as soon as he saw it, so it was automatically everyone's favorite.  
  
"Hyuk, are you coming to the hospital when I go in?" Wonshik, assigned to doing the line art, asked.  
  
The youngest child nodded, "Yeah. Appa says we should be there because you might need us after you come out. He says the anaesthetic might make you a little sick, so we should comfort you." He paused before continuing, "Also, he said it might be stressful for your dad and your brothers, so we need to keep everyone calm."  
  
Jaehwan snorted, "Wow, your father thinks of everything."  
  
"Well, we're all family, right?" Sanghyuk asked, blinking innocently at Jaehwan.  
  
The teen smiled and leaned forward to ruffle the younger's hair, "Of course we are, kid. Family."  
  
"Ok, done." Wonshik announced, having finished his part of the mask before handing it over to Hongbin, "Yours is the top left corner, Kong."  
  
"I know, I was the one who decided on that." The younger twin replied with a slight chuckle. Wonshik was obviously excited about this, but Hongbin still couldn't let him get away with anything.  
  
Wonshik pouted and Jaehwan used the hand that wasn't currently petting Sanghyuk like a dog to flick his youngest brother's forehead, "Don't sass him, you... loser."  
  
"Wooow." Hongbin raised a judging eyebrow at the teen, "I'm so offended. Is that the best you got?"  
  
"Shut up, I can do better, I just don't wanna hurt your feelings." Jaehwan shot back smugly.  
  
The younger boy snorted and started on his task, "Yeah. Suuuure."  
  
Jaehwan tsk’ed and glanced down at his sketch pad, flipping the page back, eyes landing on the half completed drawing of his father. He had meant to finish it by now, but he had felt like something was missing from it and he just couldn't put his finger on what it was.  
  
He thought of drawing his mother with him but almost immediately decided against that as it might have subconsciously been a way of holding on to the past. He thought of drawing Taekwoon with him too but, again, decided against it because, as much as he had accepted that the two of them were together, it was still a little weird to look at him as his father's lover.  
  
No, it wasn't a person missing from the picture, it was something else and it had frustrated him so much that he just indefinitely gave up on it.  
  
Even now, looking at the sketch again, his mind raced, trying to figure out what was missing.  
  
"Hyung?" Sanghyuk started, tapping Jaehwan's arm.  
  
The older blinked and glanced at him, "Hm?"  
  
"What’s that?"  
  
"Oh." Jaehwan moved the sketch pad toward him, "I sketched my dad, but there's something missing and I'm trying to figure out what."  
  
"Maybe you should give him a pose." The child suggested.  
  
"Mmm... maybe." The older replied, still unsure, "What pose do you think I should give him?"  
  
Sanghyuk did a cute, exaggerated flower pose, framing his face with his hands and Jaehwan couldn't help but laugh, picturing Hakyeon doing that pose in his mind.  
  
"That only works for cute people, Hyuk, maybe I should draw _you_ like that."  
  
"Then how about..." Sanghyuk changed his pose again, even more over the top and cutesy with his hands in fists by his cheeks like a cat.  
  
Jaehwan continued to laugh, but stared at the younger's hands. He obviously wasn't going to draw Hakyeon like that, but maybe Sanghyuk was indirectly onto something. His hands. Maybe Hakyeon's _hands_ should have been in the picture.  
  
But how?

"Thanks kid, I'll keep that in mind." He stated before sighing because he still really had no idea what he was going to do.  
  
He would finish it eventually. Just not now.  
  
With another frustrated sigh, he closed the sketch pad.  
  
\------  
  
  
  
Hakyeon was nervous.  
  
This fact was plainly obvious to both Taekwoon and Jaehwan who had been watching him closely for the past forty-five minutes or so.  
   
Wonshik had gone into the operating room around an hour earlier and Hongbin, being the anxious child that he was, immediately voiced every terrifying thought that he had about what could potentially go wrong with the surgery. Thanks to the fact that he'd had these thoughts for a while but kept everything bottled up, lest he freak his poor twin out, it all spilled out in a mess of rushed words, broken sentences, full body tremors and tears. Hakyeon had sat with him on the bed in the ward and held him while he sobbed, trying his hardest to assure him that nothing bad would happen.  
  
Hongbin cried himself to sleep in around fifteen minutes, exhausted because of the stress and the long, crazy day they were having while Hakyeon still sat holding him and rocked back and forth slowly in a subconscious attempt to comfort him. However, something his youngest said had obviously gotten to Hakyeon and he looked more and more worried as time went on.  
  
Taekwoon and Jaehwan exchanged glances for what was probably the tenth time in that hour, feeling the need to finally intervene this time as Hongbin had started whimpering in his sleep and they were pretty sure it might have had something to do with Hakyeon's nervous energy and the way his rocking had gone from gentle and comforting to a little too violent and rigid.  
  
Sanghyuk sat on his father's lap and tapped away innocently on Taekwoon's phone, playing some game that he had been engrossed in for the past half hour while Jaehwan cocked his head in the direction of his own father as a signal for Taekwoon to go to him. The older man complied immediately, lifting Sanghyuk up and handing the confused child to Jaehwan before standing up and moving to the bed.  
  
He placed a hand on Hakyeon's shoulder and the older, unsurprisingly, jumped a little due to his high strung nerves before turning to look at him.  
  
"Hey, come on, let's go get some coffee and something for the kids to snack on." Taekwoon suggested.  
  
Hakyeon nodded and manoeuvred his son to lie on the bed, making sure he was comfortable and still asleep before getting to his feet with his boyfriend's help. He sent Jaehwan a look in a silent request to look after the kids for a while and the teen lifted a hand to give him a thumbs up.  
  
The two made their way out of the ward, closing the door behind them and walking hand in hand to the little waiting room nearby and specifically to the vending machine.  
  
Hakyeon silently got a few snacks and some soda from the vending machine while Taekwoon poured three cups of coffee for Jaehwan and the two of them. The silence was deafening until the younger left the coffee on the little table and moved toward his lover, gently massaging his shoulders, "You ok?"  
  
The other man sighed, "Hongbin's right. There's _so_ much that could go wrong with surgeries. Maybe we rushed into this too quickly. Maybe we should have done more research."  
  
"I told you, I know this surgeon, Hakyeon." Taekwoon stated, "He's really good. Really trustworthy. I wouldn't have let him work on Wonshik if I wasn't completely sure he was in good hands."  
  
"I know, but..." Hakyeon muttered in response, ignoring the things in the vending machine dispenser in favor of leaning into the younger's touch, "He's my baby, I can't _not_ worry about him. I just... I need him here. Until he's in front of me, happy and healthy and ok, I'll worry about him."  
  
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." Taekwoon wrapped his arms around the older man, holding him close from behind and sighing into his hair, "But just... remember to breathe, babe."  
  
Hakyeon chuckled, "I will." He managed to turn himself around in the younger's hold and pecked him on the lips before smiling, “I’m glad you’re here.”  
  
“Of course I’m here.” Taekwoon replied, “I did promise I’d be here whenever you needed me.”  
  
“Thank you.” The older chuckled, “Y’know, if anything's changed in the past four months, it would be that you’ve made me _much_ calmer than I was.”  
  
“I’d say that’s a good thing. But… you’re not the only one who’s changed since… since we met.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure we’ve all changed.” Hakyeon agreed, “My relationship with Jaehwan has changed _a lot_ since you came into the picture.”  
  
“Well… yeah... but I was talking more about myself. And Sanghyuk.”  
  
The older tilted his head in confusion, “Really? You? You seem pretty much the same.”  
  
“I’m not.” The other man admitted with a slight smile, “I dunno if you remember, but I wasn’t the best with social interaction when we met. I seem to recall overstepping my boundaries quite a bit back then.”  
  
Hakyeon shrugged, “I don’t remember. My own social abilities are pretty terrible, so it must have just seemed normal to me.”  
  
“Either way… I have changed. I know I have.” Taekwoon stated, “I think… If I hadn’t met you and your kids, Sanghyuk and I would have still spent nearly every weekend at home together just playing games or watching movies or something. I still like doing that and spending time with him one on one, but it’s much healthier for us to have relationships with other people. I don’t think that would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you.”  
  
“I’m glad I could be of assistance.” Hakyeon mused, “Although… technically, we owe everything to Sanghyuk and the twins. They started all this.”  
  
Taekwoon laughed, “True. It’s kinda funny when you think of it that way.”  
  
“Wonshik was Sanghyuk’s hero a few months ago and now they’re… brothers, pretty much…”  
  
“Maybe one day in the future they’ll actually be step-brothers for real…”  
  
The older smiled somewhat sadly, “ _Distant_ future, babe… I still have a ten year marriage to get over. I can’t do that overnight.”  
  
“I know.” Taekwoon replied, “That just means we’re gonna have to be together for a long time while you heal. I’m very patient.”  
  
“I’ll hold you to that.” Hakyeon stated quietly before puffing out a breath of air, “Come on, let's grab all this stuff and get back to the kids."  
  
\------  
  
  
  
Five long hours later, it was getting dark outside, Wonshik still hadn't come back and everyone was tired.

Hongbin had woken up earlier, had something to eat and played with Sanghyuk for a while before they had both gone to sleep. Sanghyuk lay across the width of bed, at the foot side, while Hongbin slept normally on the pillow and Jaehwan lay next to him. Even Hakyeon had fallen asleep on Taekwoon's shoulder, exhausted from the excessive worrying that he'd been doing for the past six hours.  
   
Only Jaehwan and Taekwoon were still awake. The teen was deeply focused on something he was drawing in his sketch pad while Taekwoon watched a movie on his phone, looking beyond bored. Silence reigned in the room, broken only by the faint audio of the movie through Taekwoon's earphones, the sound of Jaehwan's pencils against the paper and the quiet chattering from somewhere outside the room.  
  
Jaehwan placed his pencil down on the side table in finality and looked over the picture before sighing, "Taekwoon..."  
  
"Mm?" The older glanced up, pausing his movie.  
  
"He'll be ok, right..?" The teen asked, voice soft and low.  
  
Taekwoon smiled, "He'll be fine, kid. These things just take some time."  
  
"He'll still be blind in one eye though."  
  
"Yeah." The older replied sympathetically, "We can't do anything about that, unfortunately. But I think he'll be ok with that, his sight isn't as important as his self-esteem."  
  
"Yeah... you're right, I guess..." Jaehwan sighed again and handed the sketch pad over to the other man, "I finished it."  
  
Taekwoon took the book curiously and looked at the picture. It was the drawing of Hakyeon that Jaehwan had done back at the hotel, but completed. It was pretty much the same as it was before, only this one had Hakyeon leaning his chin on his palm and... "You added his ring."  
  
"Yeah." Jaehwan replied, "It's... not really holding on to the past, it's more of an homage, in my opinion. Just as like... a memory, y'know?"  
  
"It's perfect, Jaehwan, he'll love it." Taekwoon assured, eyes locked onto the band around Hakyeon's finger in the picture before glancing down to the real left hand of the man next to him, fingers interlocked with his own and not a single piece of jewellery adorning them.  
  
"Just make sure you get him a completely different ring and we'll be good." Jaehwan teased, voice still soft.  
  
Taekwoon chuckled, "You're getting way too ahead of yourself."  
  
"Oh my God... he literally said the exact same thing." The teen stated, "You guys are already telepathic..."  
  
The older's laugh got cut off when light flooded the room as the door opened and the surgeon that had been working on Wonshik stepped inside.  
  
\------


	10. "Happy Birthday."

The delicious smell of coffee seemed to physically pull Hakyeon to the bright, open kitchen of his penthouse apartment. It was difficult to resist after a night – or, more like every night for the past month - of light, broken sleep. Besides, it had to be the best aroma to be greeted with in the morning, especially on such an important day in his life.  
  
The day his eldest son turned eighteen.  
  
"Good morning, Uncle Hakyeon."  
  
"Morning." He sleepily greeted the newest member of their _family_.  
  
The only girl in their house:  
  
Jaehwan's five months pregnant girlfriend.  
  
Hakyeon couldn't say he was really surprised when they broke the news four months earlier. He knew that the two of them had been sleeping together from the time they were sixteen, but they had been together for two years at that point already and Hakyeon decided that all he was going to do was make sure they knew how to be safe and then just let them be. They were obviously in love and he knew first-hand what that was like.  
  
Jaehwan had also proven himself to be more responsible than Hakyeon had initially thought he'd be, so he figured he should just take a step back and trust him. Granted, they were both still in their final year of school and she was still seventeen - at least for a few more months - but he knew how much worse it could have been, so he couldn't complain.  
  
He had promised to help them with the baby while they finished school and even offered to let her stay with them until they got a place of their own because her parents weren't all too happy about their teenage daughter getting pregnant by the guy they had constantly forbade her from seeing for the past four years or so.  
  
Not that any of their stupid restrictions would matter after today...  
  
She poured some coffee into a mug and handed it to Hakyeon, "We made some pancakes a little earlier. I think there’s still some in the living room, if you want. The guys were eating there."  
  
Hakyeon nodded, "Thanks. Why aren't you eating with them?"  
  
"I just wanted to spend some time alone. Y'know, since Jaehwan’s party is gonna be loud and hectic later, I dunno how stressful that'll be for the baby, so I'm trying to give him some down time before then." She explained, hand placed on her belly. They'd found out within the past month that they were having a little boy - Jaehwan had joked that, yeah, of course they were - and had been preparing for his arrival since then. "I don't know if that'll even affect him, but I'm just being cautious."  
  
"You would think after three kids, I would know if it has any effect or not, but I honestly have no idea." Hakyeon replied with a laugh, "I'll leave you two alone then."  
  
She smiled at him as he walked out of the kitchen, coffee mug in hand and headed for the large, almost too fancy living room. He’d already been living here for a year and he still wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to it. After spending his whole life being middle class – and even lower class when Jaehwan was a baby – too much luxury was… _too_ much luxury.  
  
But he guessed the money came with the man, so…  
  
"Morning." He greeted his twin boys as he stepped into the living room and placed his mug down.    
  
"Morning dad." The twins replied, still speaking in unison even while munching on pancakes and watching some kind of morning show on TV.  
  
They were thirteen now, going on fourteen in a couple of months.  
  
Hakyeon always got nervous when he thought about that. Fourteen seemed to be a cursed age for their family and, even though he knew it was ridiculous, it just made him uneasy knowing that they would soon be the age he was when his first child was born or the age Jaehwan was when he started becoming rebellious.  
  
There was no reason to think that the twins would do either of those things at fourteen, seeing as how they always had each other to talk them down from doing anything stupid. They told each other everything, so if one had a bad, impulsive idea, the other one would step in and logic them out of it pretty quickly.  
  
Not to mention, Hongbin was still incredibly cautious, as he had been since the accident. His PTSD had lessened over the years and, while he still had the occasional panic attack, he had learned to effectively deal with them and they had become mild and usually lasted no more than a few minutes. He still flinched at the sound of glass breaking and made sure to wear his seat belt the second he got into a car, but he was making progress and finally feeling positive that he would eventually be immune to all those fears and painful memories.

As for Wonshik. Wonshik was... gorgeous.  
  
He had healed up near perfectly after his operation. The surgeon told them to watch for any signs of the two sides of his face growing at different rates, because the untouched side would grow with him naturally and there was a chance that the reconstructed side might not, but so far there was nothing out of the ordinary and Hakyeon was amazed every day of how good a job they had done. The only remnants of the surgery were two scars – one coming down from the outer corner of his eye and the other one over his jaw, he proudly called them battle scars - and an almost invisible dent on the side of his nose, but Wonshik never complained about any of that. He had his face back. He did still wear an eyepatch over his blind eye when he went out sometimes, but it was more of an accessory than a necessity. He figured since he didn't use that eye, he could dress it up instead.  
  
But overall, the two of them were healthy and happier every day and that's all Hakyeon could really ask for.  
  
"Where's Jaehwan? And Sanghyuk?" He asked them, noticing the absence of the two other boys.  
  
"Sanghyuk's still asleep." Hongbin stated.  
  
"And Jaehwan Hyung was in his room last time I checked. He said he wasn't hungry." Wonshik finished.  
  
"Oh, ok." Hakyeon replied simply, pausing in thought before turning around and making his way back towards the passageway, "Save one pancake for me, ok? I'll be back."  
  
Walking down the hall, he passed Jaehwan's closed door and briefly poked his head inside Sanghyuk’s room, spotting the seven year old fast asleep in his bed, curled up into an adorable little ball.  
  
Sanghyuk really was way ahead of his time. If it weren’t for how small he still was, it would seem like he was the same age as the twins, despite being six years younger than them. Sometimes, though, being a near genius was stressful. Taekwoon’s family put a lot of pressure on him and pushed him to do extra subjects and activities that they were sure he could keep up with. They had good intentions; Sanghyuk’s amazing mind shouldn’t go to waste, but it was too much for the child sometimes. Thankfully, those were the times when his… _brothers_ would step in and make sure he had some fun too.  
  
Sanghyuk was an interesting child, to say the least, but Hakyeon couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if everyone kept expecting too much from him.  
  
Pursing his lips, he ducked out of the youngest’s room, walked all the way to his own bedroom at the end of the hall and stepped inside quietly.  
  
"Hey..."  
  
Hakyeon turned in the direction of the large bed at the sound of his lover's sleepy voice, watching him rub his eyes as he slowly woke up from his slumber.  
  
"Oh, good morning." Hakyeon replied, sitting down on his side of the bed and gently running his fingers through Taekwoon's hair, "What time did you get to bed last night?"  
  
"Uh... I don't even know. Like... four?" The younger replied, blinking away the sleep before locking eyes with his other half.  
  
Taekwoon had been incredibly busy over the past month. His father was contemplating retirement and Taekwoon was being groomed to take over from him which meant, between running the club and being his father’s understudy at the same time, he had twice as much work until he found a suitable replacement for the club. Most days, he would come home later than usual and then spend the rest of the night working from home, usually until the early hours of the morning, then repeat the whole process the next day. Even on weekends, he’d have _something_ to work on that would prevent him from going out or doing anything. Just managing to take time off for Jaehwan’s birthday party today was an amazing feat.  
  
He hardly had any free time, but hopefully things would level out soon.  
  
He sighed, noticing the sadness shining in the older's orbs, "Babe..."  
  
"You work too much these days. We hardly spend any time together anymore." Hakyeon spoke softly, fingers brushing over Taekwoon's face, "I miss you."  
  
"I'm sorry..." the younger apologized, pulling his lover closer to him, letting his hand slide to the back of his neck and kissing him softly.  
  
They'd been together for four years without any _major_ speed bumps – pointless fights and arguments arose easily, but it was never serious and it never lasted longer than a day. They had decided against getting married because they both felt like it was pointless and just stuck to being together comfortably without the pressure of marriage. For the time being anyway. Not that there wasn't any monogamy involved; they acted as if they _were_ married and even considered their kids brothers, it just wasn't on paper.  
  
There was never any doubt that Taekwoon loved him, but these days, with the younger having barely enough time to hang out with his son, let alone actually be romantic with Hakyeon, he just felt a little neglected.  
  
He broke the kiss and pecked the younger one last time before getting to his feet again with a sigh, "It's ok. I get it, I guess..."  
  
"How about this... the kids are staying at the hotel tonight, right?" Taekwoon asked, earning a nod from the other man, "Then you and I will have some time to ourselves. I'll get rid of my laptop and my phone for tonight and we can just be together. Sound good?"  
  
"It does. It sounds awesome."  
  
"Then, as soon as we find a replacement at the club, we can go away for a weekend together or something. Just the two of us, or with the kids. Whatever you prefer." The younger continued before his expression darkened and he shrugged, "Or you could just take the fucking job and this would all be over and done with sooner."  
  
Hakyeon shot him a glare.

He had, quite obviously, been the first person Taekwoon offered his job to, but he refused immediately. Hakyeon was happy where he was and he didn't feel like he was qualified for a position like that anyway. Taekwoon, however, thought he was the _best_ choice as he trusted him more than anybody and this conflict became a common topic for stressed, sleep-deprived arguments.  
  
"Don't start with that. I don’t need that today..." Hakyeon replied, unlocking the safe in his closet.  
  
"Sorry..." the younger mumbled, "It's just... it's stressing me out, I don't know how much longer I can handle this..."  
  
Hakyeon sighed sympathetically, "It'll work out, babe, you guys will find the perfect substitute. I know I'm kinda… putting more pressure on you by making you feel bad about working so much. Sorry..."  
  
Taekwoon didn't reply and just watched his lover grab something from inside the safe before closing and locking it again, "What are you doing?"  
  
The older smiled at him, "Big things are happening today. Get up, we need to start getting ready for the party."  
  
Before Taekwoon could ask any more questions, Hakyeon was out of the room and on his way to his eldest son's.  
  
He paused outside the newly turned eighteen year old’s room for a second before knocking on the door with a soft "Jae?"  
  
"Come in." Jaehwan's voice replied from the other side of the door and Hakyeon immediately complied, stepping inside and closing the door behind him, spotting his son eyeing himself almost judgementally in his mirror.  
  
Jaehwan had grown up well. He and Hakyeon still fought over stupid things now and then, but there were never any questions about love and respect anymore, it was just a part of what made them… _them_. Something that made their relationship stronger each time, as counter-intuitive as that seemed. He'd also grown up responsible and mature, as Hakyeon knew he would.  
  
He would make an amazing father.  
  
"Oh... morning." Jaehwan greeted, glancing at Hakyeon before going back to staring at himself in the mirror, looking more worried than his father thought he should.  
  
The older walked closer, having to look up a little at him. Jaehwan had also grown up to be as tall as him and would probably be taller once he was in his twenties, much to Hakyeon's chagrin, "How you doing?"  
  
"I'm... nervous."  
  
"Don't be. It'll go perfectly." Hakyeon assured, "Here, give me your hand."  
  
Jaehwan did as he was told, confusion litting his features as his father took his hand and held something between their connected palms.  
  
"I know... that you didn't buy a ring yet and... I thought about this a few days ago, so..." he moved his hand away and Jaehwan's wide eyes immediately locked on to the beautiful gold, diamond encrusted ring that lay in his palm.  
  
"Wow, this..." the younger breathed out, "This is mom's..."  
  
"Yeah, it is." Hakyeon replied with a smile, "I thought about what I was gonna do with it and couldn't come up with anything, so I just stored it away for a few years. But... I think the best thing to do would be to keep it in the family. I'm sure... your mother wouldn't mind if it ended up on the finger of her future daughter in law. If you want it."  
  
"Of course I do. This is amazing." He clenched the ring in his fist and looked back at Hakyeon, opening and closing his mouth, unable to form the words he wanted to say before simply just hugging him instead, "Thanks, dad."  
  
"No problem..." Hakyeon replied, hugging his son back and letting his eyes fall closed.  
  
"Happy Birthday."  
  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Aaaaaand we're done!  
> Thank you guys for reading and for all the kudos~.  
> I was nervous about posting this story on Ao3 because I didn't (still don't) really know much about the site, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. Thanks for your help too, guys ^^  
> See you in the next story~


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